Family Matter - Why Do Muslim Men Always Want Babies Right Away?

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Why Do Muslim Men Always Want Babies Right Away?

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42751
Printed Date: 04 December 2024 at 1:27am
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Topic: Why Do Muslim Men Always Want Babies Right Away?

Posted By: Muslimah82
Subject: Why Do Muslim Men Always Want Babies Right Away?
Date Posted: 31 May 2018 at 12:12am

Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. I talked to some guys online and it seems that almost all Muslim men want babies right after marriage, no matter what their age. I am the intellectual sort and I have some genetic health issues. I have had and still have a stressful life and an annoying family I am still trying to escape. Because of that and the huge responsibility raising children entails, especially in an unislamic environment, I have no desire to have children. I would like to marry somebody who does want children. We have only been talking online for a little less than two weeks. I don't know what to do. I really want to marry him but I don't want to have babies. He mentioned having babies once and I said that I don't want to have children anytime soon. What should I do? I could change my mind later if we get married but even then, it would have to be some years from now. If I finally escape my wacky family, I want to feel my independence and enjoy life to the extent I can. Another issue is due to my health problems, pregnancy could be potentially deadly for me. Surrogacy is an option but some scholars say that it is haram. I am not so sure anymore. Also, I don't want sickly babies. I have been sick most of my life. Over time, I became sicker through many years. Alhamdulillah I am somewhat better now. I want to be able to live and enjoy life finally like most young people. I am 35. I don't want to lose the rest of my youth.

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 02 June 2018 at 1:54pm

Wa alaikum,

The Wuran does recognize that there would be women who would have no children. The Quran gives this right to men and women to discuss among them the raising of their children or not having them depending on their health etc. You have taken the right stand and it is good that you inform others about it. One can adopt children in these situations.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: Muslimah82
Date Posted: 02 June 2018 at 2:24pm

Jazak Allah khair. I might change my mind later if I get married if it is that important to my husband. I would rather raise my own child than adopt if I were to rase any child. I would like to sponsor orphans and poor children though.

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 02 June 2018 at 3:43pm

Islam is a normal religion and does not put undue restrictions. If you feel like raising your own child, Islam would not prohibit you and if you want to sponsor orphans and widows, Islam welcomes that.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah