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should i marry him or not?

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Ask Dr. Aslam
Forum Description: You can ask questions related to Islam to Dr. Aslam Abdullah.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43020
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Topic: should i marry him or not?
Posted By: parisheh
Subject: should i marry him or not?
Date Posted: 25 July 2018 at 1:35pm
Assalam u Alaikum
sir i am in a very confusing situation that i got committed 2 years back,my fiance was not a good looking person even at that time (chubby & dark, but he took care of his appearance & tried to maintain) but i was impressed from his kind nature, still he is good at character really cares for me 
but after some time he stopped caring about his appearance, he started looking ugly, even more dark, he got weight gain (115kgs) & looks so fat now a days, he is getting so bad that even after remembering all his else character i do not any more feel attracted to him, 
i really tried to cope up with him but i feel disconnected to him & i am scared that i will not be happy with him or may fall into sin by looking or falling for other men, also hurting my fiance. (may Allah save us from all the sins)
i need a suggestion should i marry him or not as marriage is a very sacred bond between two persons & needs attraction to each other, please suggest me an answer in accordance to Islamic guidelines relatedto marriage, thank u so much 


Replies:
Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 09 August 2018 at 5:44pm
wa alaikum salam,
Explain to him how you feel about this situation. Tell him honestly and openly that the marriage would not work if his physical appearance is not balanced. People would say lot of things that one should look for this or that, but you are the one who has to live with him every day and if you are not happy with his appearance, it would fill you with resentment.
So the best thing is to talk with him and tell him that he has 6 or more months to bring him in shape.


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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: Muslimah82
Date Posted: 16 August 2018 at 12:46am
Assalam walaikum. I read your post. Don't marry the ugly guy. You will regret it and resent him. Don't waste your chance at marriage. Don't let him use you physically. Just be direct and tell him the truth. Don't go to him alone. Write a message. If he gained so much weight, he probably has a disease and he could gain even more weight. Don't marry him. There are plenty of other guys out there. Not only some ugly guys have good character. Good-looking guys can be good too.

Posted By: parisheh
Date Posted: 22 October 2018 at 8:18am
Assalam o alaikum, i received your message, first of all thank u so much for suggestion , i am still confused about my decision, i m feeling like i am ditching him, but also m not feeling attracted to him anymore, i gave him alot of time to rebuild his personality, get better, but he is not paying attention to it .  i am afraid what should do & how to do it. (i mean how to say no to him)


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