I'm really troubled, so please help me out. I'm 27 years old and was born in Pakistan but currently Im also a Canadian citizen.
Iam an independent working woman and did not feel i was ready to get
married but my mom was always worried about what society will say if I
don't get married at this age. My mom is the nicest mashallah, and I
always take her advice in everything. Finally one rishta came in and my
parents really liked this rishta. Even though the guys was not well
educated, he was extremely nice and polite. They were a good family. So
to please my parents i said i will go with whatever you guys want. Even
though I am independent, I chose what my parents wanted and agreed to
the rishta. After that parents allowed us to meet and get to know each
other. Within 3 months I felt like i did not really connect with him and
i told my mom about this but she was like its ok, give it some time it
will develop, that how arranged marriages work. After a year we got
married and I thought marriage and nikah would change my feelings but it
still hasnt. Dont get me wrong he is a very nice person and since then
we are living together. There hasn't been a single day that I felt happy
with him. He does nothing to hurt me, but I don't love him. I don't
have any feelings towards him. How can I sleep with a person when I
don't even want to sit with him? I don't feel like talking to him. I
feel like running away from him. I don't want to see his face, though he
is not bad looking at all. I don't see him as my husband. I feel bad
for him because he says he wants to see his wife happy, but I don't get
happy after seeing him. I'm happy when he is not around. I told my mom,
"I can't live with him like this, I will die- so please get me separated
from him", but she started crying and said if I want to see her dead
then go ahead and get separated
My question is, why should I live with a person that I don't feel happy
with? Please help me. I m crying all the time, and this is not making
anyone happy. If he tries to come close to me, I push him away and that
hurts him. I just can't control my self. I don't want to live with him.
Does Islam tell us to live with a person that you don't feel attracted
towards? Is it even possible to live with someone you don't want to live
with?
i did all just to please my parents and now I feel miserable.
Please dont pass any judgemental comments and provide me your unbiased opinion about what I should do.
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