I saw a girl(zainab) in a marriage 18 months ago. looked at her with respect in my eyes n tried to not look at her as much as I could. I developed feelings for her.I started to collect info about her. I knew she lived in my area. My bro made a video of the arrangement and when I watched that video, zainab was in the back of the video. I told it to Rida who used to be my classfellow. She shared it with her best friend(fatima).Fatima knew that girl I was looking for. After 2 months I don’t know why but Fatima lied to me that Zainab is engaged, Zainab was not engaged at that moment. A month passed and Zainab got engaged for real this time. Fatima proposed me and had lied to me bcz she said that she loves me for herself. I rejected her. A month more passed and I contacted Zainab to confirm if she was single but she said she is engaged now. I started praying for her day n night and after further 3 months she saw me somewhere n felt in love with me while she was engaged. So in total six months had been passed. Now we decided to break the engagement. She told me that her fiance is a really bad guy and he cheats on her and has unlawful relations with other girls. We prayed day and night and tried physically too. After 8 months, the engagement broke. It was this difficult because she was forced to be engaged with that guy by her family. But somehow it was broken now. I used to pray 20 Nafl everyday for her engagement to break,prayed in Sujood of Salah,prayed 40 Nafl in order to thank ALLAH when it broke.now after 4 further months, both of their families forgave each other n she got engaged to same guy. She’s getting married in 3 months. I don’t know why ALLAH gave her to me and then took her away. Our relation was halal in every way.

Why did ALLAH got her engaged to the same guy again who is a nightmare for every gud girl.Now I wish her to be with me in the afterlife. What should i do? Should I keep praying? Is it wrong to pray for early death?

Why would ALLAH do this to me?