I’m so BORED!
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4428
Printed Date: 06 October 2024 at 2:08am
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Topic: I’m so BORED!
Posted By: Moona
Subject: I’m so BORED!
Date Posted: 16 April 2006 at 8:48pm
 I am SO BORED with my life! I love my husband,but I get angrey with him because we NEVER go anywhere,never DO anything.The only time I go out of the house is to buy food.That's it. I desperately want a pet,a cat,or something,but we are planning on going home by this time next year,so it would not be fair to an animal to take it in,love it,only to have to give it up in a year. I'm happy one day,then bored and mad the next. My husband PROMISED me he would take me to the local Araquirium(I love anything from the ocean)a month ago,and has yet to take me. I think I'll go by myself this week! I get mad with my husband,because he said that this year would be a year of sacrafice,him working very hard,so that we can build our dream home,but he isnt working more than a couple of day's a week.He usually stay's up all night watching television and drinking coffee,then sleeps all the day. I dont know,but that sleeping all the day really REALLY irritates me. Especially since I am supporting the both of us,PLUS putting money into savings for our home to be built. If he just had a good job,and went to work every day,I wouldnt start feeling that anger. He has had a hard time being away from our family for the first time ever in his life.I guess we're just both having a hard time. Am I being pety? We've been doing this same routine for the last 3 years!I feel sometimes like I'm about to EXPLODE inside. Our greatest saddness when we came to America,is that we have a relative here who my husband had not seen in 17 years,who we THOUGHT would be loving and kind to us,but instead has been very very mean to us,and who we now do not see because they cause us too much saddness. It's so complicated. I dont know if I can survive ANOTHER year like the last 3.No pets,no home I can call my own,no family,doing nothing all the time....HELP!------------- Moonie |
Replies:
Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 17 April 2006 at 10:41am
Dear DavidC,please clerify the man does , u are an expert on the issue...
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Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 17 April 2006 at 10:48am
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go to the aquarium.. you need a break. ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 17 April 2006 at 12:24pm
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Bismillah, The Aquarium sounds soothing to me! Many cities have foster pet programs. You can help a pet find a loving home instead of being euthanized and have something to care for and get your mind off your lonliness at the same time. Stop waiting for your husband to change when you need to take care of yourself; just do it. ISA next year things will improve for you. Do small things now to keep your sanity and your peace in your home as well. May Allah, SWT, guide and keep you both. ------------- Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will. |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 17 April 2006 at 8:09pm
Thank you for all your encouragement. I have decieded that I WILL go to the aquarium by myself this week,probably tomarrow,or thursday. He sleeps all day,so he wont even miss me. About fostering pets,my husband just would NOT go for that at all. He grew up with no animals allowed in his home,or in any other families homes.MAYBE a cat,but NEVER a dog or any other animal. I am no longer going to depend on him to do things with me. I had a dog before I reverted and married my husband. She was a beauty.And I loved her dearly,and it broke my heart to have to give her up. She was a 3 year old chocolate Lab I had named Sophie. It's been three years since I gave her to a really great family,but she is still in my heart. That is a question I have about Islam that my husband just hasnt been able to answer. Is it sin to own dogs? Anyway,what done is done.I will take control of MY life and will stop sitting home all the time WAITING for him to do something fun with me.Spring is here,and I wont spend it wasting away and not LIVING LIFE! I was so lonely before I got married,I HAD thought that once I married,I would have my husband to go do fun things with.LOL Anyway,thank you all.Dont be surprized though if I continue to need encouragement.  ---Moona------------- Moonie |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 17 April 2006 at 8:13pm
------------- Moonie |
Suleyman wrote:Posted By: superme
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 2:40am
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Can a sister or sisters clarify it to us that men also allow to post in here? Well Suleyman I think is a brother. And if this my my post appear than that is the case. Clarification I think would be helpful. Thanks and salaam. |
Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 4:05am
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Bismillah, You could even pet sit and make money at it while you temporarily enjoy a pet. If he doesn't like dogs, foster a cat or feed a stray outside. He'd probably go nuts if you got gerbils, but if you keep them in a cage, they can be really sweet creatures. They are cleaner than birds in that their mess stays in the cage whereas bird feathers and seed hulls get on the floor with birds. (I need to caution that they are really hard to catch sometimes when they get out of their cages and they like to chew wood!) Look up the post about dogs by typing dogs in the forum search for more information/discussion on dogs and people's views of them in Islaam. I made a similar choice myself and I often wonder how wise that was! Hee Hee! But I have three beautiful children (even though they are messy also!) Brother Super: Some sisters do not like male input on certain issues that they post, and I think that would be a good rule to follow: Don't post on a topic that the topic starter requested only male or only female input. But then again, when everyone else is doing it, why sholdn't you? Well, it's just polite, so it would be following an unstated rule. ------------- Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will. |
Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 5:55am
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Yes, a mistake that many many women make About the pet issue, since you have only a year, what about a couple of fishes Your mission if you choose to take it: Write a list of all the things you can do. Another list with all the things you want to do, like the aquaruim. And do them, ok you can't have a pet, so don't add that, perhaps the fishes thou. What about painting/drawing. Crafty things like sewing/knitting/croching/card making etc. These do require some money. If you don't want to spend a lot, are there things around the house that you can use, or go to a community course where its not that expensive. write a list of free things you can do and see and do them. -------------  ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 6:17am
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We all have high expectations when we get married, I had too! Unfortunately some men do not understand certain needs. Like spending quality time with wives and doing fun things, it strengthens our relationship. But don't fret sis! Make loads of dua to Allah to inspire your husband, it always works! Saying from personal experience! And yes, try to keep yourself busy by involving yourself in things the sisters have suggested. Also i guess men like women, who do a little things on their own (would the brothers reading this, agree??) so go out and enjoy yourself, we pray your husband will soon join you!! Take care.........may Allah make it easy for you!....wassalam ps- keeping fish at home as pets sounds lovely to me!! ------------- Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper). (Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 6:20am
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I too would love to keep a cat as a pet, but my husband would not allow it........so i just decided that i love my husband more than cats so i have to let go of cats!!
------------- Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper). (Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 9:40am
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One thing I do is I voulnteer at the local animal shelter a couple of hours a week. Even if you cannot have a pet you can do a good thing by helping out. The kitties and dogs need attention. Their lives are tough and it can do a world of good to give them some attention. Dogs, from what I understand are generally unclean. So I just shower when I return home.
------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 9:48am
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I agree volunteering is the best, I did volunteering for like 6 months. Its not becaue I was bored, its because you need damn 48 hours to graduate from high school.
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Posted By: Danty
Date Posted: 18 April 2006 at 10:17pm
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Dear Sister,
I hope that your situation gets better inshallah. As I had read your post, I thought of something that you can do if your husband wouldn't mind. Since you like dogs, there are some people that wouldn't mind if you could walk their dog or dogs. (Some elderly people or even some people just don't always have time to walk their dog much). Or if some people in your neighborhood needs someone to watch their animals while they are out of town, you can try it! You could make flyers or put an advertisement in the paper on whatever you want to decide. Sister, please be strong in your situation. May Allah help you and your husband have a good future ahead of you. ------------- Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said "Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it.Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished." (IMAM BUKHARI) |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 20 April 2006 at 1:38pm
  Well! I Finally did it! After my husband left for work today,I got in my car,and drove the 45 minute drive to the aquarium! I had a lovely time. I sat and watched the sea turtles,sharks,and other sea creatures.I had fun! I wish my husband could have come with me,but really I think I had a better time without him.I love him tons,but he can be a drag sometimes.If he isnt having fun,I cant have a good time either. I think the aquarium just isnt his thing. Anyway,I am going to find other fun things to do,maybe sometime's he will join me,but if he doesnt want to,or cant,I will go alone. Thanks everyone for your encouragement!  ---Moona------------- Moonie |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 20 April 2006 at 1:41pm
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Good for you, I love seahorses. (Did you know in Sea Horses the males give birth????) Moona.....have you ever tried a pottery class or another crafting class. They usually meet only like once a week or month?
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Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 20 April 2006 at 1:58pm
------------- Moonie |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 20 April 2006 at 2:12pm
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Great, its wonderful that you're sounding more Positive. Spring always does that for me.
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Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 21 April 2006 at 6:46am
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hey moona I love the sea dragons, there are Weedy and leafy sea dragons, and native to Australia, more here at: http://divegallery.com/Leafy_Sea_Dragon.htm - http://divegallery.com/Leafy_Sea_Dragon.htm http://www.divegallery.com/Weedy_Sea_Dragon_3.jpg">
here's one of a leafy:
------------- ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 21 April 2006 at 7:50am
| Awesome Angel, love the sight. |
Posted By: liyala
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 7:56pm
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Sister Moona, you could bring home a couple of water turtles. They are much easier to care for than fishes. They stay in the water tank and are not underfoot like a dog or a cat. ------------- liyal.a |
Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 27 April 2006 at 5:23am
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Bismillah, I have always admired water turtles, especially when they are the miniature ones. I can picture a Japanese garden with them in it! ------------- Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will. |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 27 April 2006 at 7:26pm
Water turtles! That sounds like a GREAT idea. I LOVE turtles.They're so cute! I love ocean turtles too.They swim so gracefully.Update: So far my new Goldfish has lived a full week,and looks to be doing great.Today I went with a friend,a male friend,(BUT I have known him for years,and he is as an uncle to me.)to a BEAUTIFUL aqaurium very near to my home. I cant believe it's been there all this time,and I never visited it before. We had alot of fun.This place was much nicer than the one it took me 45 minutes to get to.I plan on going again soon. Turtles..hummm,thanks for the IDEA! ------------- Moonie |
Posted By: marta_akmal
Date Posted: 02 May 2006 at 8:27pm
| ... |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 5:24pm
When I had my Lab,I didnt keep her in the house all the time.We got alot of exercise together,taking long five mile hikes together.Or just playing outside and letting her run alot.She was my outlet to the world.I have some sad new's. My fish died this morning. I know it was my fault,I know what I did wrong,so I might just clean the tank and get another Goldfish next week. Or maybe I'll set the tank up to hold water turtles.------------- Moonie |
Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 8:18pm
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Bismillah, Dear Sister Moona, We've had a lot of goldfish over the years. They can be hardy and they can die easily. Keep trying. And i personally would stick with goldfish or other inexpensive small ones because you can buy more. Betas don't like the small containers people provide for them. We put a betas in full size, 10 gallon fish tanks, and they were much happier than in the small vases. (You can tell by observing them!) ------------- Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will. |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 04 May 2006 at 1:12pm
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I've had Beta's too,and I'm like you.People assume that Beta's like a small space because (I think)they are sold in store's in small containers. But really,what animal LIKE'S to be contained in a small space? People can be silly sometimes. Last month (or more)I had a Beta,....I've had more fish die on me than I can EVEN count anymore,lol. And I cry Everytime a fish die's. Maybe I'm silly,but I love taking care of them so much,and when they die,it makes me sad. This last Goldfish was so strong, I just knew he would make it.Then I messed up,and he died. Well,that's the way it goes sometimes. Maybe I'll try a turtle. What I'm trying to say is that I am not giving up! ------------- Moonie |
Posted By: Moona
Date Posted: 14 May 2006 at 1:01pm
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Now that the weather is nice,I'm going every other day to a beautiful park where you can hike five miles around this gorgeous lake. I hike no matter what.If I'm angrey,I hike very hard and get all my anger out.(This morning my husband got angrey with me for what I felt was a stupid reason,so I hiked HARD today.)I get great exercise,and it reduce's my stress level. Sometimes when I hike,I plan a whole new life without him.Then I come home relaxed in my mind,body and spirit. I want to be more strong with him regarding our finance's.(I.E.My paying for all our bills from my income)I need to start being more strong in this area with him. ------------- Moonie |
Posted By: aya918
Date Posted: 20 June 2007 at 12:38am
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its good to keep urself occupied the way that u have been especially if u dont have ur husbands companionship. but my problem lies with ur working and his not working as much. its not ur job to build ur dream house--its his. u should quit ur job. although i realize u will probably be more bored, this will maybe force him to work more and stop wasting countless hours sleeping and watching t.v....good luck! |