Family Matter - Wife and parents problem

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Wife and parents problem

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44470
Printed Date: 21 November 2024 at 12:57pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com

Topic: Wife and parents problem

Posted By: pial
Subject: Wife and parents problem
Date Posted: 12 April 2020 at 5:53am

We are introvert family and my wife is extrovert.

My wife thinks that my parents and sister behaves rudely with her. So she forced me not to attend my sister’s programs and also avoid my parents.

In respect of my parents I used to make her do some things which she did not like. (Example: my father wants my wife to serve guest when they visit. My wife does not want to do)

My mother and father one day scolded my wife and her parents because they did not like her activities like wearing western dress, cursing in bad language and many other.

Thinking I should support my wife as I moved out of the house. Now my wife try to always cause hurt to my parents. ( example: whenever my parents sends food she returns it and does not allow me to even meet my family)

She threats me of suicide whenever I say something against her will

Please guide me

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 13 April 2020 at 4:03pm

Wa alaikum Salam,

You need to discuss the matter with your wife politely. You need to assure her of your love and commitment to her. Simultaneously, you should tell her that you love your parents and siblings and it is your religious duty to take care of your parents feelings. Show respect to her parents and she should reciprocate.

Communication is the key to solving problems but communication must be polite and compassionate.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: Sultana99
Date Posted: 17 June 2020 at 9:17am

I think your wife and your family mentally challenge and stress each other out they are different from each other and their imaginations and expectations , it's not possible to mix them at the moment , the relationships that are missing in life give a lot of pain and vacant and empty feeling inside , it makes us feel helpless miserable and a failure . So your wife can find your mother , sister and relatives in someone else outside either at work etc , then she will be at peace and have a social life which will give her happiness and experiences with which may be InshAllah she will be more understanding and closer to your family in some future . So also your family needs to find a replacement for your wife in their life who have similar interests and can talk happily peacefully and respectfully without getting hurt , someone who's more mature , so that they can be happy and they will also grow emotionally and not get stagnated due to anger hurt and hatered . Gradually I hope InshAllah all this returning food etc will stop .

Posted By: NABA
Date Posted: 28 June 2020 at 7:42am

There is no obligation on your wife to serve ur parents or guests,make it clear to her that okay it is acceptable don't do work or serve parents,even as a muslim just tell ur wife don't wear western clothes instead dress modestly that's it ur duty is over, instead u should serve ur parents and expect nothing from ur wife,u say directly to her that u will respect and serve ur parents,if she threats to suicide say that Allah will get angry and Allah hates suicide.