As-salamu alaykum
I
am in desperate need for your kind advice and guidence. I have been married for
ten years with 3 wonderful children who I love and adore more then life its
self.
My
marriage started off well but hit a you turn as I felt my wife my wouldn't
listen to me or obey me. I felt like she would listen to her family more then
me. At time I would make a decission and it would always be challenged.
Later
on I lost interest and my mind started to wonder I stopped praying and became
distant from myself and went down the wrong path I became aggressive, load,
started moving toward worldy things and destruction i started to do haram
things watching pornography, demanding my wife to do things out of her comfort
zone gambling I was losing the will to live i still am not sure.why I went down
this path.
4
months ago my wife left me and move to her family in pakistan. Since then I
have realised my mistake and have begged Allah swt for his forgiveness and
mercy every day during my prays and after my prayers. Since this point I
have not done a single bad thing I have been getting mental health help and
treatments on regular bases.
By
comming back to Allah swt I have asked for forgiveness and guidence. That I
know have come to realise my mistakes and I have left all the bad things behind
me and have vowed to Allah swt I will never go back.
I
have been trying to reach out to my wife to convince her I changed and begged
for her mercy to take me back and grant me one final chance to earn her respect
trust and love back.
She
does not believe she should. I have read a lot of articles online stating if
man shows.remose and is true to himself and Allah swt the wife should hear him
out and give him a chance?.
I
am willing to do anything to get my wife and kids back i have had made a
devotted promise to Allah SWT never to go back to treat my wife with love trust
and respect.
Should
she give me a chance or divorce me as I really don't want her to. I am praying
she gives me one chance to redeem myself?
She will only take me back if a scholar will justify that she should?
Please
I really need to know if there is any hope. I really want to fix my marriage I am depressed without my children and wife in my life i am living with a huge amount of regret. I want to make it right and make my family whole again Inshallah. I have several panic attacks and anxitey attacks because i really love my children and wife but i feel like i have lost them :(
Jazakallah
Ali