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Ruined Marriage, Living with regret!

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Ask Dr. Aslam
Forum Description: You can ask questions related to Islam to Dr. Aslam Abdullah.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44803
Printed Date: 24 November 2024 at 10:19am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: Ruined Marriage, Living with regret!
Posted By: AliCho786
Subject: Ruined Marriage, Living with regret!
Date Posted: 08 December 2020 at 10:21am
Dear Dr Aslam, 

As-salamu alaykum 

 

I am in desperate need for your kind advice and guidence. I have been married for ten years with 3 wonderful children who I love and adore more then life its self. 

 

My marriage started off well but hit a you turn as I felt my wife my wouldn't listen to me or obey me. I felt like she would listen to her family more then me. At time I would make a decission and it would always be challenged. 

 

Later on I lost interest and my mind started to wonder I stopped praying and became distant from myself and went down the wrong path I became aggressive, load, started moving toward worldy things and destruction  i started to do haram things watching pornography, demanding my wife to do things out of her comfort zone gambling I was losing the will to live i still am not sure.why I went down this path. 

 

4 months ago my wife left me and move to her family in pakistan. Since then I have realised my mistake and have begged Allah swt for his forgiveness and mercy every day during my prays and after my prayers. Since this point  I have not done a single bad thing I have been getting mental health help and treatments on  regular bases. 

 

By comming back to Allah swt I have asked for forgiveness and guidence. That I know have come to realise my mistakes and I have left all the bad things behind me and have vowed to Allah swt I will never go back. 

 

I have been trying to reach out to my wife to convince her I changed and begged for her mercy to take me back and grant me one final chance to earn her respect trust and love back. 

 

She does not believe she should. I have read a lot of articles online stating if man shows.remose and is true to himself and Allah swt the wife should hear him out and give him a chance?. 

 

I am willing to do anything to get my wife and kids back i have had made a devotted promise to Allah SWT never to go back to treat my wife with love trust and respect. 

 

Should she give me a chance or divorce me as I really don't want her to. I am praying she gives me one chance to redeem myself? 

 

She will only take me back if a scholar will justify that she should?

 

Please I really need to know if there is any hope. I really want to fix my marriage I am depressed without my children and wife in my life i am living with a huge amount of regret. I want to make it right and make my family whole again Inshallah. I have several panic attacks and anxitey attacks because i really love my children and wife but i feel like i have lost them :( 

 

Jazakallah 

 

Ali 





Replies:
Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 31 January 2021 at 9:30pm
Wa alaikum,
People are weak and they commit sins. The fact that you have remorse and willing to repend indicates your willingness to correct yourself and you have done that. Islam does not believe in a cancel culture. It always invites people to seek forgiveness and return to their good nature. The question is how convincing you are to your wife. Your God has shown you the right path and you have repented. Will your wife accept that? She should ad give you another chance.
Aslam


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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah



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