I’m a 27 Pakistani woman with 2 young sons, I have been married to my Gujarati Indian husband for 5 years. I was living with in laws, my father in law, mother in law, brother in law, his wife and 2 kids and my husbands niece all under 1 house. For 5 years I have struggled living under my mils rules of the house, from 7am till 1-2pm everyday me and my sil would leave our kids and we would have to clean the house everyday. Same routine everyday for 5 years. I had no time for my kids, my husband would up and leave at 8-8pm for work so he wasn’t to know what goes on in the house. I was my husbands second wife as his first wife had problems aswell and left. During these 5 years I have had stated to my husband the problems I have living in that house, the only reply I get is this is my mum you just have to ignore it, if you don’t like it then you can leave. So I tried another year and another year and then another. Nothing changed only got worse, for me now it was more mental abuse more then physical Because what u did wasn’t good enough, whatever I did she would still complain I’ve not cleaned this properly or I have done this a certain way. I was very restricted in that I couldn’t come and go if I wanted to see my mum who lives alone I was always restricted, come back at this time because mum will want her food, come back at this time because my mum will be alone. I never had a married life with my husband I was never allowed. He was never allowed to be a husband to me because he was scared of how his mum would react. Today I plucked up the courage and left with my kids, I don’t have no issue with my husband, but i am sat at my mums now with this over my head. What Shal I do? My husband has called and said either you come home or our marriage is over. I know if I go back to that house it will be mentally and physically damaging for me. Last 3 years I have suffered from panic attacks due to stress. My 3 year old son has suffered because all day he’s left alone to run wild in the house while I clean behind my mil. He’s been a&e over 5 times due to broken foot, falling of walls etc. I also have a 8 month old baby who I only see when it’s feeding time, the rest of the time he’s sat in his bouncer. I’ve got faith in Allah swt as I know he is the best of planners and my family and everyone around me had said to me have sabr have sabr, but now it’s come to a point that my marriage is in danger. I need some guidance I need to know that leaving that house was the right thing or if it was the wrong thing to do Islamicly. I need help. Please advise me what to do from here and how to go about things.
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