Family Matter - Sons unsure on telling their mom I have remarried

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Sons unsure on telling their mom I have remarried

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Questions realted to familly matter.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45293
Printed Date: 12 December 2024 at 5:07am
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Topic: Sons unsure on telling their mom I have remarried

Posted By: mihir-wohra
Subject: Sons unsure on telling their mom I have remarried
Date Posted: 31 October 2021 at 3:17pm

I am 45 years old and married and have been blessed with two sons from my first wife. Subhanallah they are 16 and 14. I have recently taken a second wife. She is an 19 year orphan girl with no brothers to protect her. Allah has blessed me with enough financial security to support my family and take a second wife. My first wife is unaware that I have remarried though--only my sons know. They served as the two male witnesses for the nikah.

My eldest son gave me his blessing to remarry. He says I am doing a good thing by protecting this girl and he sees how happy she makes me and he is happy for me. All he asked is that I never let my first wife, his mother, know about the existence of my second wife because it would make his mother jealous and he does not like to see her upset.

My youngest son, however, thinks this will hurt his mother as I am hiding the truth from her and he has told me to tell her about my remarriage. My youngest son says that as a Muslim man, truth is incumbent upon me and I cannot lie to my first wife.

Which son's advice on whether I should tell my first wife or not about taking a second wife is following the guidance of Allah? Islamically, am I allowed to take a second wife without the first one knowing?

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 03 November 2021 at 6:41pm

Wa alaikum Salam,

You should have asked these questions before taking a second wife. In the first place, monogamy is the rule. Polygamy is an exception. I personally do not support polygamy based on my understanding of the Quran, sunnah, social conditions and personal choices. Your first wife is your partner, and a partner means that she should know all the decisions pertaining to your family. You have done injustice to your first wife.

Moreover, in marriages, minors are not accepted as witnesses.

Please speak with your first wife and explain to her the circumstances that led to this decision of yours.

Aslam

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah