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Assalamualaikum, I am 22 years old. I met this guy who is brother in law(devar/younger brother of my best friend husband ). I never liked talking to strangers nor I appreciate who does. At the end of 2020 october 12 my best friend husband gave me his brother number and told me that I am a good religious girl and I want my brother to know you well. Initially I said No but later my best friend told that talk once what if you like that person. So after 3 months I got that vibe that we are not made for each other and said I wanted to break up but he emotionally blackmailed me by not eating food and all. I felt guilty and I've started talking again although I told my best friend that I am not in relationship but secretly I was in that. Alhumdulillah we never got physical nor did major sin like zinah physically involved but We lip kissed and he stopped eating for almost 2 days and told to do adult video call, I was so in love that I did that major sin for like 5 to 7 times till now almost after 18 months things got sore between us he was not earning and I got job 6 months back and was giving him sometime money. Later He thought I was cheating on me because of job I used to talk with male colleagues He asked me to share my screen on zoom meeting and he use to watch it like whole day my all activities I thought it might be for one day but he did that for whole week I got so mad that I finally broke up and in anger went into another relationship but the another relationship person send me marriage proposal Alhumdulillah which my ex didn't send in 18 months. My ex is crying and not eating and gave me badua that i shall not be happy in my life. He was my first love I never did physical zinah I told NO strictly beforehand but he gave me badua and I am feeling bad for him he is spoiling his life and blaming me that I gave him dhoka but I swear when I was with him I never had any relationship with anyone. My question is will Allah forgive me ? I asked the person with whom I did wrong he said he will never forgive me in anger I said ok fine I don't need your forgiveness also ? I am messing up everything. I don't want to message him and ask him forgiveness but I sincerely want to repent but I don't find peace I used to read 5 times namaz with tahajjud but now I am not reading even one time salah a day. Just offering Friday prayer. I am broken,heartless now. The person with whom I am getting married is a nice guy he reads namaz daily and told me to do so as well. I always wanted my life partner to be closer to allah first but here I became so distant to allah. What should I do ?? Will Almighty Allah forgive me or do I need to ask that person forgiveness again but that person said very clearly he will never forgive me because I broke his heart Even I am broken, I agree I did wrong by getting into another relationship that to so quickly in anger I did so that I will make him feel bad but the thing is 2nd person marriage proposal is accepted by my family Alhumdulillah.. You see right? I am sad,happy,broken everything How do I repent ??
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