Due to health issues, I am not able to conceive children of my own.  My husband and I would really like to have a child. My sister has told us that if we wanted a baby she would carry one for us. My question is, is this permissible in Islam?

Bismillah,

Why not?  The baby would have two mothers then.  What a lucky kid!

Sister Sarah, I'm very sorry to hear about your difficulty.  I pray that Allah makes what is better for you easy for you.  Remember, the doctors aren't God.  How old was Sarah when she gave birth to Issac again?  Allah is powerful and he's merciful.    In sha allah, don't lose hope in Allah's mercy sis.  I will be sure to make dua for you

With regards to your question.  I have to agree with sister Amah.  I know it to not be allowed.   

Salaam 

Bismillah, Here is a link that Sister Amah provided. Islam Questions & Answers
www.islam-qa.com

There is a woman who is unable to carry a pregnancy to full term. What is the ruling on taking an egg from her, fertilizing it with her husband�s sperm, then implanting it in the womb of another woman, whether that is in return for payment or not?

Praise be to Allaah.

Shaykh �Abd-Allaah ibn �Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen answered this question as follows: 

We say that this is something innovated and reprehensible. The scholars have not spoken of it previously and it is not narrated that any of the scholars or imams of this ummah permitted that, or that it crossed their minds, or that they were asked about any such thing, even though the means and the motive existed that may have called for such a thing. This is something that has come up recently, within the last few years, where the idea of renting wombs been made attractive (by the Shaytaan) to some people and they say there is nothing wrong with it and so on. Undoubtedly this is haraam, primarily because Allaah has commanded us to guard our chastity, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

�And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame�

[al-Mu�minoon 23:5-6]

 So Allaah has forbidden us to engage in sexual activity with anyone except our wives and female slaves, i.e., having intercourse with them (female slaves) on the basis of possession.

 Secondly, Allaah tells us that man is enjoined to protect his lineage and his children. Undoubtedly this womb-renting will lead to confusion of lineage and not knowing who the father or mother is. This confusion of lineage will lead to disputes between the original wife and the woman whose womb is rented, and it will not be known to whom the child belongs. Even if we say that he belongs to one of them, the matter still will not be certain. Hence we advise women to keep away from such things.  Moreover, this undoubtedly requires looking at �awrahs and at the private parts which it is forbidden to see, and it also requires collecting sperm and extracting the eggs and placing them in other wombs. All of that is not allowed in sharee�ah, indeed it comes under prohibition mentioned in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): 

�Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)�

[al-Noor 24:30] 

What is meant is to protect them by covering them so that no one will see the �awrah of another. This is the way of Islam and we pay no attention to those who deviate and go against that, and permit this borrowing and this renting of wombs, the consequences of which will undoubtedly be disastrous. 

-- 

Renting wombs is one of the innovations of western civilization, which is a purely materialistic civilization which does not give any weight to moral values and principles. The issue is not things that may affect inherited characteristics or confuse lineage; that is not the point of the shar�i ruling. Whether that leads to any effect on inherited characteristics or not, whether that results in confusion of lineage or not, it does not matter, because the shar�i ruling forbidding this innovation is based on something else, which is that the womb is a part of a woman�s private parts and the private parts (i.e., sexual relations) are not permissible except through the shar�i contract whose conditions are fully met. So the womb is exclusively for the husband who is married to that woman according to a valid marriage contract, and no one else has any right to use it for an alien pregnancy. If the woman who rents out her womb is not married to that husband, then she is permitting her private parts and her womb to a man who is a stranger to her; she is not permissible for him and he is not permissible for her. Even if this is not full-scale zinaa (adultery), it is still definitely haraam because it is enabling a man who is a stranger to her (i.e., not married to her) to put his semen in her womb. 

Dr. �Abd al-�Azeem al-Mat�ani, al-Azhaar University 

-- 

The foetus is nourished and is influenced by the womb and the environment that surrounds him. Bad habits on the part of the surrogate mother may lead to deformity of the foetus, such as smoking, drinking alcohol, etc. Then what if the doctors discover some physical deformity in the foetus before birth and try to treat that by means of surgical intervention? Will the surrogate mother allow that? Will she put her life at risk for the sake of a child who does not belong to her? Moreover, there are some women who become sick as a result of pregnancy, suffering such diseases as a sudden rise in the level of blood sugar, or a rise in blood pressure, or toxaemia, some of which may take the life of the pregnant woman and which require medical intervention to sacrifice the foetus in order to save the life of the pregnant woman. How would the surrogate mother and the original mother work this out? How are we to deal with the ethical, legal, social and psychological problems that result from that? Therefore we can reach only one conclusion, which is that the mother who carries the pregnancy can only be the original mother, the child should be attributed to the marriage bed, and that she should conceive, nourish her foetus and give birth to it. Saying that renting wombs is like hiring wet-nurses has no basis in truth, for a wet-nurse breastfeeds a child whose lineage is known, and she can stop breastfeeding him when she wants or when the original mother wants, if she feels that there is any danger. Moreover, in the relationship between a husband and wife there is no room for any third party, no matter who he or she is, not for renting a womb or for donating sperm or donating eggs. Because of such things innumerable problems have arisen in western societies. In Britain an original mother gave twenty thousand pounds to a surrogate mother in return for renting her womb for nine months. When that time was over, the surrogate mother demanded many times that amount from the original mother in exchange for giving up possession of the child. So if this door is opened it will bring us innumerable legal and social problems. 

Prof. Jamaal Abu�l-Suroor � Dean of Medicine, al-Azhaar

 

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

Assalaam alaikum Sister Sarah,

how do you understand it? what did you decide?

Assalamu Alaikum:

The points put forth by the Sheikh and the daleel he gives are not necessarily pertinent to this topic.

Does this Sheikh believe that we should never have a pap smear or examination during pregnancy? What if we have genital cancer, or men have prostate or genital cancer? Are we only allowed to go to a doctor that is Mahrem? How would we even know if we had cancer if we are never allowed to expose our aura to anyone, including medical professionals?

If the egg is from the mother and implanted with the sperm of the father, how would that bring the baby's lineage into question? Even if there were any doubt, DNA tests could take care of that.

And it would not be the actual semen that would be put into her womb, but a fertilized egg, which is a different organism.

Even his distaste for "renting the womb" can be answered if the surrogate is your sister, family member or friend willing to do this for no money, just out of love. This would also sort of insure that she would take good prenatal care of the baby.

And saying there should be no third party in a marriage could almost be construed as then saying there should be no polygeny in Islam because there is a third, fourth, or maybe even fifth person in the marriage.

I am not saying that I agree with surrogacy, I just do not see the legitimacy of this particular reasoning.

As salamu alaikum.  Of course we're allowed to seek medical help when necessary.  I don't think the sheikh ment we have to lay at home and die when we become ill . 

Surrogacy isn't a life-death situation though.  It's a choice.  I can totally understand the logic of this ruling.  Allah ta'la says:

2:223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

He doesn't say "any and all women" or "your wives and their sisters."   The word tilth here is symbolic.   I can see the relationship between "womb" and "tilth."   A womans womb can only be used by her husband.  (used by her husband sounds kind of gross, but i don't know how else to put it)

A man is not allowed to marry his wife's sister, so how can his sperm (or the product of it actually) go into her by halal?

A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.  

Having sex outside of marriage is zina, so what is it when a woman allows a man's sperm to enter her and he's not her husband?

It just makes sense to me.

P.S

The part about "third party" could have been worded better.  He didn't mean there's no third party in marriage he meant no third party in having children.

Wallahu A'lam

Assalamu Alaikum!

Sister Herjihad:

Assalamu Alaikum sister amah,

I am going bit busy right now. Insha Allah I will answer later.

Peace

Amah,

I noticed this forum when I was checking PMs.  I should point out in both fatwas, they discuss the mans sperm entering the surrogates womb.  I think I need to educate you on how surrogating works.

First, the mother is given injections of a potent hormone.  From this she hyperovulates producing many eggs.  Around a dozen are harvested and then frozen. (there is a surgery involved here) The husband then donates the sperm, which is also frozen. (this is a man, a cup and a private room, or a man, his wife, a cup and a private room, either way, the doctor doesn't see his privates)  Then in a lab, in a dish, the eggs and sperm are introduced together.  At that time, a blastocyst is formed.  A multicelled organism.  These are then encouraged to split to a certain size and that is then implanted in the surrogate.  The baby is already growing before it ever gets into the surrogate mother.  There is no sperm introduced into her body.  The baby is completely, 100% genetically the mother and father's baby.  When the child is born, the baby has no genes from the surrogate.  The baby was implanted in the womb, nestled into the side of her uterus and continued its growing that started in the test tube.  The same procedure is used in IVF for infertile women.

In this case, the surrogate woman would never  have the sperm of the man touch her, only the forming child.  In a way, like a nursemaid who feeds a child who is not her own, a surrogate mother is feeding a child who is not her own through the rich blood of her womb. 

Now, on that note.  My church forbids this for a spiritual reason, not for a biological reason in which the Sheik used.  The Mormon Church believes in Eternal families and child born of a woman is spiritually bound to her for eternity...therefore in our theology, the lineage would get confused.  But, that's an LDS view of the spiritually eternal families and since Islam doesn't teach that...it wouldn't apply in this argument.

Amah,

That's nice, not all women.  Myself included have that opportunity.  My husband would like a biological child, one I cannot give him.  So, where do we turn.  If we were muslim, then we could not adopt a child for our own, that is forbidden.  We could foster an orphan, but its not the same.  Again, its forbidden, but I can completely sympathize with a man and a woman wanting a child of their own. 

I wonder what the answer would be if it was a man's second wife in a polygnous marriage?  Just a curiousity.  Its illegal in the US, but in other countries????

No, we were adopting and my husband changed his mind.  His new insurance covers infertility treatments.  So, now he can afford for me to undergo different treatments.  So we are seeing a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) on July 21st to determine the next course of action.  Which means I will be unbearable to deal with afterwards.  The medications and injections make me sick.

Side note, Amah, did you know there is a hadith that the Prophet told a woman to breast feed a young boy she was taking in to make him Mehram to her.  In modern times, even if you are unable to have children you can lactate with hormones given to you by a doctor.  Thus you and your husband can become Mehram.

amah wrote: Mishmish wrote: I am not saying that I agree with surrogacy, I just do not see the legitimacy of this particular reasoning. So if you do not agree with surrogacy, then why don't you give us your good reasoning sister???????????????? May be your reasoning will be more solid.

Assalamu Alaikum Sister:

I am still thinking it through. I don't agree or disagree at this point.

If your wife is your tilth, and this is concerning the womb, then what of wives that cannot bear children?

I think that there are many things that would be considered innovation or haram that Muslims do everyday in the field of medicine. Such as organ transplants, artificial hearts and pace makers, chemo therapy, Lasik vision surgery, even getting a filling in your tooth...

There are hadith which could be used to argue against all of these, yet no one would generally think twice about the procedures.

The implanted egg is already a separate organism, a baby, not the sperm. What is the difference between this and fertilty treatments which alter the natural state of the woman's womb so that she can concieve? Man is still altering what Allah(SWT) created. Yet Muslim women do these treatments all of the time.

What if the fertilized egg of the husband and wife could be grown outside of a womb, in a lab, would that be Islamically allowed since no other woman's womb was used?

Assalamu Alaikum Sisters:

At first I was thinking that most of the prohibative arguments used against surrogacy: showing your aura, mixing the sperm, could be used against fertility treatments or invitro fertilization, but then I found this Ayat in the Quran:

58:2 If any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (calling them mothers), they cannot be their mothers: None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And in fact they use words (both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is one that blots out (sins), and forgives (again and again).

This would indicate that only the woman actually giving birth to the baby could be considered the child's mother, that would be the surrogate. So, even if you used your own egg and your husband's sperm , you would never Islamically be considered the baby's mother.

Insha'Allah this will help.

Salaams. 

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaikum

SubhanAllah sis Mishmish, its such a blessing of Allah swt when He gives u understanding of His deen, its quite a heart touching sort of explanation but Allahu alam

MashaAllah the topic is very beautifuly discussed, little pointer that you are not suppose to be marrying second time bcos u cant have kids with first wife, as loosing hope in mercy of Allah swt is a sin.  another little thing that scholars don't reckon that organ transplant is an option in islam either other than kidneys which if taken from alive person who has two functioning kidneys is ok, due to two main reason, one is mutilating the body and second that this body is not for us to share and cut out after our death it is a blessing and amaanah from our lord so we return it to him in full piece, full knowledge is only with Allah swt

wassalam

interesting.. minus being a sister you can:

husband can marry a woman as 2nd wife, sleep with her, get her pregnant, after birth and proper waiting period, can divorce, and then he can raise the child with his first wife correct?

Child would then be legitimate?

Hayfa,

I could say, only if the man wants to go to hell.  A man is to only approach his wife in righteousness.  If he's just using her to breed with her and has the intention of divorcing her afterwards.  I would think that wasn't approaching in righteousness. 

However, if he has two wives and only one bears children, isn't is correct the child calls both women "Um?"

As a woman who suffers from infertility, if we were in a situation that allowed such a thing, I would suggest to my husband that we find him a second wife to marry and have children.  Of course, working together we could find someone I would be friends with and he could love.  But, this is not a situation that would work with most women.  Some would be bitter (Like Sarah), others would be competitive...and then there is the risk the husband will favor the fertile wife.  Its a fine line to walk.

Surrogate mothers in most cases are not women who are renting their bodies, they are making the sacrifice of discomfort for 9 months to give life to another persons dreams.  But, given the ayat Sister Mishmish posted kinda solves it the Islamic question.

Assalamu Alaikum:

Even if the first wife raised the child, Islamically it would be like adopting the child. You can breastfeed to make the child mahrem, but the birth mother would still be considered the real mother.

Also, there is a prohibition against marriage for any reason other than marriage.... You know what I mean!  To marry a woman just to birth a child and then divorce her, or marry a man so that you can divorce him to go back to your first husband, are prohibited.

oh yes.. of course with marriage should be permanant.. jus that people squiggle and re-create things. They twist things and bend it which ever way they think they can justify..   

Some man 'claimed' (I just talked to him once on the phone) to be an Iman in Brooklyn, NYC said we need a 'temporary marriage' in order to talk to me on the phone. 

All kinds of people out there. 

As a Roman Catholic, I notice that our religions adhere to the same belief(s) regarding surrogate parenting.  My own sister and her husband could not conceive, and decided to adopt.  (They became the parents of 4 little brothers and sisters, 2 boys and 2 girls, who had been horribly abused by their birth parents.)

Here is what Catholics believe regarding surrogate parenting:

I hope this offers some worthy information on the subject.  We do seem to be close in our beliefs on this subject.

God's Peace!

Patty

As salamu alaikum

Sister Amah Jazakillahu khairan.  I truly admire your method of giving naseeha.

Peacemaker, Jazakallahu khairan for your input.  Western study of science is a bit secular in nature.  Muslims have to be careful and approach it from an Islamic perspective.

Mishmish, glad it makes sense to you now.

Patty, interesting post.

Dear Amah:

You asked the following -- "Patty, just wanted to ask you, since you mentioned abortion....are you (Catholics) allowed to abort in case of emergency , for example, if the pregnancy is a threat to the mother's life???
Thanks..."

In the Catholic faith abortion is considered murder and is never allowed intentionally.  If the Mother's life is in danger (which is very rare in this day and age), the Mother must be saved, with every effort made NOT to intentionally cause the death of the fetus/baby. One scenario which comes to mind is in the event of a tubal pregnancy.  As we know this pregnancy cannot survive, as the baby is outside the womb, implanted in the tube.  This is a case where the baby must be carefully removed from the tube, otherwise the Mother will not survive.  It is a very sad situation.  I hope this helps answer your question.

Peace to you.

Patty

Assalamu Alaikum:

It wasn't a question of making sense, but rather what was the reasoning behind the prohibition.

At the time of the Prophet(PBUH), such science did not exist, so he did not forbid us from using surrogacy. So, when a Sheikh says something of this nature is forbidden in Islam, I like to know why. Especially since other methods of fertilization are allowed. 

Most importantly, all life is from Allah(SWT), so if a surrogate mother is used and the baby is born, this is from Allah(SWT). So I wished to see the actual daleel in this matter.  

The Sheikh stated: unnecessarily revealing your aura, which would be the case in surrogacy as well as fertilization treatment

Questionable paternity: which could  or could not be the case in surrogacy as well as fertilization treatments, since accidents happen and fertilizing the egg outside of the womb can always lead to an accident

Renting the womb: he gave this as a reason, and that it was a reprehensible act, but he gave no Islamic proof of such.

Without some sort of daleel, this would have been an opinion only. That is why the Ayat in the Quran was very important as it showed Islamically why this was not acceptable.

Salaams.

Suzanne wrote: Abeer23 wrote: A man is not allowed to marry his wife's sister, so how can his sperm (or the product of it actually) go into her by halal? A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.   Having sex outside of marriage is zina, so what is it when a woman allows a man's sperm to enter her and he's not her husband? Salaams Reading what you put above..... has convinced me.

Alahmdulila

Suzanne wrote: Abeer23 wrote: A man is not allowed to marry his wife's sister, so how can his sperm (or the product of it actually) go into her by halal? A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.   Having sex outside of marriage is zina, so what is it when a woman allows a man's sperm to enter her and he's not her husband? Salaams Reading what you put above..... has convinced me.

Bismillah,

I don't want to unconvince you, but I want to state my thoughts.  For people who believe that blood transfusion is okay, I see no difference in that and the above procedure.  Blood from someone else is just as unusual of an idea for our beloved prophet's time as someone else's semen or baby.  These are scientifically valid procedures which are completely Islaamic.  There is absolutely no guidance on this in the Quraan or Hadith except applying the rules of common sense which Allah, SWT, has taught us in the Quran.

Peace

Assalamu Alaikum:

You are very blessed to have such a Sister.  I don't know if it is allowed or not... nor do I claim to know.  I do know however that it is a blessing to adopt a child.  Yes, one must be careful about lineage, if one knows it... but other than that, it is considered a blessing.  I just want to let you know as somebody who was adopted (and whose brother was adopted as well)... there is no difference.  Giving birth does not make one a parent, it's everything that comes after.  Yeah, giving birth to my sons was fabulous... but it did not make me their mother.  It was taking care of them, laughing with them, teaching them, etc. that did that.  Pray about it.  Don't worry about not loving the child the same, or what not... once you hold him or her in your arms, that will be it. 

One can adopt from the States as well as abroad.  Kazakhstan is popular, China for girls, etc.  Do research on the countries to find out health issues.

Peace.

Assalamu Alaikum:

I'd also question if it is possible for your sister to donate eggs to you, but you carry the child.  Not knowing the cause of your infertility.... can't say...

Peace.

Abeer23 wrote: A man is not allowed to marry his wife's sister, so how can his sperm (or the product of it actually) go into her by halal? A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.   Having sex outside of marriage is zina, so what is it when a woman allows a man's sperm to enter her and he's not her husband?

For the first and third, invitro fertilization has nothing to do with sex.  In fact, the sperm donor and the egg donor don't even have to see each other face to face.  There is no passion involved as well.  There is no lust.  *****edited*****

I did find an article that says IVF is OK as long as the eggs and donor sperm come from the married couple, which doesn't seem possible in this arrangement.  I'm wondering if the husband could take his wife's sister as a 2nd wife until the child is born? Not sure if that would be allowed or not from an Islamic standpoint.  Just wondering.

umsami wrote: Abeer23 wrote: A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.   I did find an article that says IVF is OK as long as the eggs and donor sperm come from the married couple, which doesn't seem possible in this arrangement.  I'm wondering if the husband could take his wife's sister as a 2nd wife until the child is born? Not sure if that would be allowed or not from an Islamic standpoint.  Just wondering.

As salamu alaikum sis.  It is haram for a man to marry two sisters at the same time.

Salam

Abeer23 wrote: umsami wrote: Abeer23 wrote: A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.   I did find an article that says IVF is OK as long as the eggs and donor sperm come from the married couple, which doesn't seem possible in this arrangement.  I'm wondering if the husband could take his wife's sister as a 2nd wife until the child is born? Not sure if that would be allowed or not from an Islamic standpoint.  Just wondering. As salamu alaikum sis.  It is haram for a man to marry two sisters at the same time. Salam

Bismillah,

Yes, it is.  Al-Hamdulilah!

Angela wrote: So, really, its heartbreaking but the woman would just need to accept her fate and adopt an orphan.

Adopting is not some horrible fate... it can be a wonderful wonderful experience.  Allah(swt) may have already picked out a wonderful son or daughter for the Sister... she just needs to find her baby through adoption.

The other option is, of course, to think for yourself... read the Qur'an... pray... and make your own decision as to whether or not a surrogate is halal.  Scholars offer an opinion, period.  They are not Allah(swt).  They are not infallible.  They may or may not know anything about IVF or what is involved.

I've never met anybody who has regretted adopting... in fact, most regret that they continued on with IVF for so long with no results.  They wish they would have adopted sooner.   

umsami wrote: Angela wrote: So, really, its heartbreaking but the woman would just need to accept her fate and adopt an orphan. Adopting is not some horrible fate... it can be a wonderful wonderful experience.  Allah(swt) may have already picked out a wonderful son or daughter for the Sister... she just needs to find her baby through adoption. The other option is, of course, to think for yourself... read the Qur'an... pray... and make your own decision as to whether or not a surrogate is halal.  Scholars offer an opinion, period.  They are not Allah(swt).  They are not infallible.  They may or may not know anything about IVF or what is involved. I've never met anybody who has regretted adopting... in fact, most regret that they continued on with IVF for so long with no results.  They wish they would have adopted sooner.

The accept her fate is the infertility part.  Not the adopting part.  I suffer from infertility.  I have for many years.  I've been given another chance and I'm taking it, I don't look past possible miracles, but if this one fails.  I will accept that God has fated for me not to bear my own children and I will adopt.  The adoption is not a horrible fate but a blessing and an honor.  Its a huge honor to be there for a child who will not otherwise have a good home.

However, its trickier for Muslimah's adopting.  They cannot adopt in a Western sense of the word, the child must retain his biological father's name and the child unless breastfeed by his adoptive mother is not Mehram.

But any woman who opens her home and heart to a child that she did not bear will be blessed for it.

Assalamu Alaikum Angela:

I'm sorry that you have had to go through the pain of IVF.  I have watched many friends go through it... and it is in no way easy.  If it is God's will that you adopt, I hope that He makes it easy for you, your husband, and your new baby to find each other... and welcome each other into your hearts.  May there be no obstacles, and may he make it easy for you. 

I'm sure you know that many people do become pregnant after adopting who thought they would never conceive.  Only God knows... :)

As for adoption adn Muslimahs...It depends where the Sister is.  It's true that some Muslim countries do not allow adoption... or even have the concept of it.  She can still adopt here in the Western sense if she is Muslim,  If the birth mother/father is known, then they can retain the name plus add their own last name should they desire.. as long as the original name is maintained.  (Note: Here in the States  not all Muslims use the traditional Arabic naming pattern.) 

As for breastfeeding, adoptive mothers can breastfeed... or at least La Leche says they can.  http://www.lact-aid.com/faqad001.htm - http://www.lact-aid.com/faqad001.htm   ry going to Mothering.com in the discussion forums there and looking for adoptive mothers who bf.  One may need to supplement, however.  And not all Muslimahs breastfeed.  One is supposed to... but not all do.. .nor do all go for two years.  It's easier, cheaper, better for the kid... but not everybody does it.

Peace.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Sisters, I feel there is a very serious assumption being made here. 

Not every woman/man will be a parent.  Having children is a test, and everybody is tested differently; i.e. financial status, health, children, etc. 

Not everyone will taste every type of trial.  Some people will have no troubles having children, yet be faced with serious financial issues throughout their lives  While others may struggle to conceive, and be financially free throughout their lives.

Having children is not a right, per se, as much as it is a trial, and with it comes the good and the bad.  Accordingly, it is not a punishment to be w/o children, as this is a trial as well. 

It's when people feel they deserve or demand something, that their clarity of mind and thought become disturbed.  As a result, their faith could be compromised, and they could accept things which aren't clearly acceptable in Islam.

A person is free to want children, as she is free to want financial freedom, and proper health - yet not everyone will get what they want.  There comes a point where we need to accept Allah's decree, and realize that there could be much goodness in it.

wasalaamu alaikum

Alsalam Alykum

Islam has encouraged Muslim families to have babies, as many as they could. The prophet SAW has encouraged his Ummah to multiply (Breed so that I may be proud of you among all the other nations).  The issue of assisted reproductive technology (ART) in Islam has been studied by Islamic Figh Councils. Regarding surrogate mothers, this was considered legal in 1984 in Saudia Arabia, only to be banned a year later (1985). 

Shi'ites who are strict in their interpretation of a third-party donation and surrogacy in IVF believe the couple should get approval from a religious court first, and the husband needs to do a muta'a, or temporary, marriage with any egg donor / surrogate mother so the child is not born out of wedlock. However, since a married Shi'ite Muslim woman cannot marry another man sperm donation from a man other than her husband is akin to adultery. "Qoute from University of Shicago web site".

 Sunni religious scholars have not condoned any kind of third party egg/gamete donation or surrogacy so far. In the mid-1980s there was an interesting discussion if egg donation between several wifes of the same husband could be admitted, since polygamy is basically allowed by the sharia and is practiced among certain social classes of some Middle Eastern countries. It was argued that in such a case the genetic material as well as the pregnancy would stay in the framework of one marriage-bond. In 1984 the Islamic Fiqh Academy of the Muslim Worldleague at Mecca issued a statement to the affirmative, but withdrew it already in 1985 and declared the practice forbidden (haram). The ulama argued that during the period of several days or weeks when the egg cell was transferred from the first to the second wife the husband would be legally allowed to have sexual intercourse with the second wife. Consequently, it might not be clear if the transplanted or the �original� oocyte would be fertilized and therefore there could be some doubts about the child�s real mother.During the discussions leading to the statement of 1985 the ulama explicitly disregarded interventions by medical doctors pointing to the virtual impossibility of such a case due to the pratical implications of the process of egg cell transfer. I would guess that the ulama believed the medical doctors but were just looking for a pretext to withdraw the earlier ruling because it would have resulted in a practice of infertile couples hiring a surrogate mother and marrying her to the husband for the period of pregnancy, only to divorce her after childbirth. This might have led to a lot of other complications and would have collided essentially with certain principles of the sharia, for example the prohibition to rent the reproductive parts of the human body.

I work in this field and I know medically there are no issues of lineage in surrogacy since the genetic parents of the child are known. Mixes in the laboratory are exceptionally rare with the kind of strict science that we use nowadays. The legal system in the U.S.A has it that the child resulting form surrogacy belongs to his/ her genetic parents. These civil rules however differ in Europe. I personally believe surrogacy is very similar to foster or adopting parents in that the �surrogate mother will take care of the child for few month, and then the child return to his mother�.  The fertilized embryo is a potential human being, no doubt in that. I do not have any Sunni scholars to back me up no, but I sure hope that our Muslim scholars will catch up with the science in order to assist Muslim families make an educated choice. God knows the best.

Mishmish wrote: Assalamu Alaikum: The points put forth by the Sheikh and the daleel he gives are not necessarily pertinent to this topic. Does this Sheikh believe that we should never have a pap smear or examination during pregnancy? What if we have genital cancer, or men have prostate or genital cancer? Are we only allowed to go to a doctor that is Mahrem? How would we even know if we had cancer if we are never allowed to expose our aura to anyone, including medical professionals? If the egg is from the mother and implanted with the sperm of the father, how would that bring the baby's lineage into question? Even if there were any doubt, DNA tests could take care of that. And it would not be the actual semen that would be put into her womb, but a fertilized egg, which is a different organism. Even his distaste for "renting the womb" can be answered if the surrogate is your sister, family member or friend willing to do this for no money, just out of love. This would also sort of insure that she would take good prenatal care of the baby. And saying there should be no third party in a marriage could almost be construed as then saying there should be no polygeny in Islam because there is a third, fourth, or maybe even fifth person in the marriage. I am not saying that I agree with surrogacy, I just do not see the legitimacy of this particular reasoning.

Dear Sister

Alsalam Alykum

I agree with you - we should thank Allah for evey thing ( Fertility or infertility). ZSOme people can consider infertility a blessing. However not having children is a major disadvantage ofor some women in some muslim family, especially if the wife is the culprit. Also we should not forget that it is Allah decree as well to make the best use of science to better our lives and have kids. We talk about accepting fate and remaining infertle. On the same token we should accept fate and vigourously seek fertility treatment. Nothing will ever happen without Allah's will.

It  bothers me when our scholars,(may Allah lead them to the right path) make every thing Haram without sweating. They also seem to copy from one onther without rethinking issues over. Times and times these special fatwa opinions have changed. This is true especially for issues  that the Qauran and the the Prphet SAW  did not mention. Simple example include organ donatio which was totally Haram, then only Halal form living donor, and now hala from all sources (Dead as well as living humans and even animals (Heart Valave replacement). How about assuming that surrogote mothers and is  Halal untill proven  otherwise. At the end every thing is Allah's willing and fate.

I think the idea of having another woman carry another couple's

child or carrying a child conceived by IVF with the husband's sperm

is unethical. Islam's numerous hadiths have already discussed

adoption, marriage, and premarital sex. From those laws we can

come up with an answer for this modern day dilema. In retrospect

this woman carrying another couple's child would be selling her gift

from God, the ability to conceive and give birth, in essence her woman

hood, and this is just not something to be sold or traded, not even

to be considered work, nine months of pregnancy. It's also not right

to IVF another man's sperm in a woman's body who is not her husband

because sex is a sacred act permissable for husbands and wives and

for the purpose of mutual satisfaction and procreation. Procreation

cannot legally takeplace between two people who are not married,

then this child does not truly belong to the husband and wife, but

is a child born out of wedlock between two parents who are not

married, and then a mother who has "adopted" the child as her own-

which is also wrong because Islam's hadiths clearly state laws

concerning adoption and how it is done. Bottom line, we just

can't have everything we want!!!

I have been blessed to see the positive side of adoption.  My sister and brother-in-law were never able to conceive a child.  So after many years, they decided to adopt.  They reside in England.  One day they received a call from the social services agency in London, and a lady told them they had four little brothers and sisters who desperately needed a home.  Two boys and two girls, ages 8, 7, 6, and 5.  My sister and brother-in-law told her they couldn't possibly take four children all at once!  The "savvy" social worker suggested they just drop by and meet the children........so they did.  Needless to say, they couldn't stand the thought of leaving them parentless, so after a short period of time, they brought all four children home with them for good.  These little children had been through a horrible time.  Their mother was schizophrenic, and the father was alcoholic.  The mother had beaten and drowned their infant sister in front of them in the bathtub!!  For my sister and her husband, raising them was not always easy or enjoyable.  Several years of therapy was necessary for the children, as they suffered from terrible nightmares and fears of being abandonment.  They were severely traumatized.

Now, they are all grown.  Fully normal, happy young adults with college educations.  My sister and brother-in-law are the only Mum and Dad they remember to any degree.  This has been quite a beautiful experience for our entire family. 

I believe that God/Allah truly does work in mysterious ways...His wonders to perceive.  Sometimes we wonder "why me, God?"  But He always has a reason, even though we may not know the answer for a long time.....or sometimes never in this life.  My sister and brother-in-law had been terribly saddened by their inability to conceive a child, but they were destined for greater responsibilities--to nurture and love and raise four unfortunate little children they didn't even know existed.  I think God always has a plan for our lives, and He always knows best!  We must be open to His "calling" and answer that call when the situation arises.

Peace be with you.....

Wonderful story Patty.

I know a woman who adopted to boys alone. They also came from a 'rough' background. It was not always easy. But it is amazing to see selfless love happen.

For some poeple they could not do what your family did or this woman I know. But ultimately we are all one family on this earth. If we all don't help each other out who will?  

Hayfa wrote: Wonderful story Patty. I know a woman who adopted to boys alone. They also came from a 'rough' background. It was not always easy. But it is amazing to see selfless love happen. For some poeple they could not do what your family did or this woman I know. But ultimately we are all one family on this earth. If we all don't help each other out who will?

i am completely agree with sister hayfa

herjihad wrote:  Let's use our brains.

and what do you think the Muslim scholars are using?? their shoes?? Those people spen their intire lives reading, studying, writing...about Islam. they sacrifice everything for the sake of Islam and in order to elighten us. And a person like you, who probavly has done very few to help islam, come and say this is wrong and this is right!!

grow up and stop being arrogant. you seem smart but you are not that educated about certain issues like this one and the issue  of Palestine!!

fear Allah, sister

salaam

Palestine wrote: herjihad wrote:  Let's use our brains.   and what do you think the Muslim scholars are using?? their shoes?? Those people spen their intire lives reading, studying, writing...about Islam. they sacrifice everything for the sake of Islam and in order to elighten us. And a person like you, who probavly has done very few to help islam,(1) come and say this is wrong and this is right!!   grow up and stop being arrogant. you seem smart but you are not that educated about certain issues like this one and the issue  of Palestine!!(2)   fear Allah, sister   salaam

Bismillah,

(1) I have probably done very little to help Islaam?  Hmm.  Let's let Allah, The All-Knowing decide that, shall we? 

I am quite sure that Islaam has done a lot to help me, that I love my Lord The Most Merciful, The Avenger with all of my heart that I am capable of, that I will continue to do so with that being the greatest achievement that I could aspire to.

(2) I know that there is so much to learn and so little time.  But I probably know more than the average person "about" Phalasteen being that my husband was born there, my children are Phalasteenee, many friends I have had through the years are from there, many people I love currently live there along with some that I hate.  Not only do I read and observe as much as I can with my limited time and abilities, but I also have visited there, staying in a little village, seeing the big city and praying in Masjid Al-Aqsa.

What's your beef and your problem anyway?  Don't take out your anger at the world on me.  It's a waste of good anger.  Save it for informing people about the oppression in Phalasteen.  Where are you?  Why don't you print up flyers and pass them out?  Get busy with something else other than attacking me.  It would benefit us all.

It's really neat and interesting that you sent me a link in my pm so that I would respond to this.

Salaamu Alaykum

Suleyman wrote: Dear Angela,one of my relative is the founder of a biggest Islamic party in Turkey,he used to be a minister at the early governments,he well educated the country over 70s' and 90s'...so many young persons loves him too much for their way of finding the hidayah via on him...let me tell how can be a exam with having children,if you are a Islamic leader and your daughter disagrees with Islam and goes to the bars in Istanbul and wear mini skirts?,can't be hard exam?,imagine he tells Qur'an to the public saying be like this and go that way through the steps of the prophets then and while one a arrogant man,hypocrite person appears in the public and shouts:"hey man, please look at to your girl where she visits and you see how she lives,why do not you advise to her before coming here?,if you say the truth why she lives like that?"...Angela, won't be a hard exam?...

Suleyman,

I have no idea what this has anything to do with what I wrote.  I'm truly confused on what a woman in a mini skirt has anything to do one whether or not, children are a trial and whether we are required to care for the children around us that don't have parents of their own.

Hard Exam????  Huh????

Ok.

Palestine wrote: still, you ducked the major point!! you wanted us to use our brains. are we qulaified enough to use our brains while we know very little, read very little, research very little about Islam. what made me foam to the mouth is your way of belittling our scholars!!!

Bismillah,

You can scholar worship all you want.  I worship only Allah, The Most Glorious, The One.

Peace

forum_posts.asp?TID=4589&PN=1 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4589& ; ;PN=1

Sister herjihad,

Respecting scholars does not mean worshipping them.

Wassalaam

amah wrote: Brother Palestine, I request you to go through the guidelines. forum_posts.asp?TID=4589&PN=1 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4589& ; ; ;PN=1 Sister herjihad, Respecting scholars does not mean worshipping them. Wassalaam

Bismillah,

Sister Amah,

Did I say that?  I don't think so.

Salaamu Alaykum

all things are in the hands of our creator. even those that are able to conceive children naturally its a gift from the creator.

THERE IS A DUA FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING.

SUPPLICATION WAS THE WEAPON OF THE PROPHETS.

slamoallaikum

actually i am doing scholar course from jamiah alrasheed

according to my knowldge it is not allowed because he is gair muhrim

when he will reach to the age of 8 or 10

just like hazrat zaid bin sabit how was named muhammad PBUH's child but islam prohibited to make it the partner in miraas but if sip her milk to the child of under 2years. wallahho aalin=m

and if u wanna to know more then do reply me so i will consult with darulifftah

slam

The same question has been asking in turkey, recently.

The answer is : NEVER

Mishmish wrote: Assalamu Alaikum Sisters: At first I was thinking that most of the prohibative arguments used against surrogacy: showing your aura, mixing the sperm, could be used against fertility treatments or invitro fertilization, but then I found this Ayat in the Quran: 58:2 If any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (calling them mothers), they cannot be their mothers: None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And in fact they use words (both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is one that blots out (sins), and forgives (again and again). This would indicate that only the woman actually giving birth to the baby could be considered the child's mother, that would be the surrogate. So, even if you used your own egg and your husband's sperm , you would never Islamically be considered the baby's mother. Insha'Allah this will help. Salaams.

It still does  not mean surrogacy is not allowed. In Canadian law, surrogate mother becomes the legal mother but then biological mother adopts the child. Same can be done using above ayah even though that ayah is clearly in a different context.

Plus, natural mother can breastfeed by using lactaing harmones therapeutically and make the child not only mehram but her own radha'ee child/son. She does not have to breast feed the baby to make mehram. I have heard Aisha RA adopted children and had them breastfed by other mehram women that made them mehram to her as well through the radh'a relation.

Now some scholars may come up and say even breastfeeding by harmones is illegal as it is not allowed in Islam (without daleel), but what can we do about such scholars who cannot see beyond their nose. Such scholars considered aeroplanes, Radio, TV, loud speakers, computers and internet all haraam untill very recently and now issuing fatwas on Tv and internet.

I hope muslim scholars catch up with science and technology.

Shazia

herjihad wrote: amah wrote: Brother Palestine, I request you to go through the guidelines. forum_posts.asp?TID=4589&PN=1 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4589& ; ; ; ;PN=1 Sister herjihad, Respecting scholars does not mean worshipping them. Wassalaam Bismillah, Sister Amah, Did I say that?  I don't think so. Salaamu Alaykum

I totally agree with Sister herjihad. Scholar worship is one of the important problems in the Muslim world. I understand why she used the word worship because there is no better word that can convey the meaning of ibadah. Basically, it is shirk to allow any human being to make a halaal, haram or the other way around. Scholars have their opinions that you can agree or disagree. Now, in an islamic state, when the opinion is adopted by the Amir through consultations with peoples' representatives (ahlulhal wa'aqd), it is binding for all muslim citizens yet, you still do not have to agree and express your difference of opinion. Allowing anyone no matter how big a scholar to make or break laws is haram as it's only Allah SWT that is a true legislator.

Wassalaam

Shazia

Salaams FruitBody Wash,

The question is if they want a baby, not that many babies, so people go overseas. Most kids needing adoption are adotped from overseas. And costs thousands and thousands of dollars.

I think this issue is a pretty valid one .. . and there can be strong arguments for both sides. I also think that this is one of the issues that is better left to the scholars (educated ones, both Islamically and other wise) to discuss and decide. Because this is such a delicate issue. . . with so many points to ponder on. . . e.g. the egg and sperm technically make it the couple's child . . . but then, so is the surrogate! But then, what about the Ayah that one of the members posted.

I personally will not try to give my own 2 cents(tho I hav many :p), since the knowledge required (Scientific & Religous) is above the average muslim's. Hopefully Insha'allah there are some good scholars out there that manage to find a ruling for this issue. . .

Peace.