Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: General
Forum Name: Humour
Forum Description: "CLEAN" humour only please !
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4892
Printed Date: 30 November 2024 at 12:57am
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Topic: Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women
Posted By: Angela
Subject: Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women
Date Posted: 19 May 2006 at 7:42am
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Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women PREGNANCY Q&A & more! Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q! : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.! "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving - call 1- 800-". 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space". 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.. TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND! 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN Send this to five bright, funny, wonderful women you know and make their day.. WE ALL NEED A SMILE!! |
Replies:
Posted By: amah
Date Posted: 19 May 2006 at 11:26am
------------- Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper). (Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
Posted By: Patty
Date Posted: 19 May 2006 at 12:10pm
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I loved it, Angela! ------------- Patty I don't know what the future holds....but I know who holds the future. |
Posted By: aminah0000
Date Posted: 10 June 2006 at 5:41pm
 thats so true only women on always we only understand one another and men too.
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Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 11 June 2006 at 4:22am
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-------------  ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Posted By: mariyah
Date Posted: 11 June 2006 at 7:56am
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O my, sounds familiar!
------------- "Every good deed is charity whether you come to your brother's assistance or just greet him with a smile. |
Posted By: ZEA J
Date Posted: 16 June 2006 at 12:23am
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------------- "You will never attain piety and righteousness,(and eventually paradise)until you spend of that which you love."(Al-Imran:92) |
Angela wrote: