I am going out on a real limb here, and frankly don't expect much response.  But lately I have recognised a real divisive line between the responses of men and the responses of women to, Iraq, and more recently, the horrors of Lebanon.  Men seem to be looking at territorial rights, strategy, weapons, economics, world support, lack of world support, previous conflicts, oh, I don't know, I am not a man.  Women on the other hand seem to be looking at wounds, separation, death, pity,fear, human rights, shortage, children, water, electricity, food, structure.

I don't think I want to comment on any of this.  Would anyone else care to?

Cassandra wrote: I am going out on a real limb here, and frankly don't expect much response.  But lately I have recognised a real divisive line between the responses of men and the responses of women to, Iraq, and more recently, the horrors of Lebanon.  Men seem to be looking at territorial rights, strategy, weapons, economics, world support, lack of world support, previous conflicts, oh, I don't know, I am not a man.  Women on the other hand seem to be looking at wounds, separation, death, pity,fear, human rights, shortage, children, water, electricity, food, structure. I don't think I want to comment on any of this.  Would anyone else care to?

Peace to you Cassie..

Yes I have noticed this. I have responded to men speaking abusively of the issues of mothers,..they seem to be more interested in the strategy of war than  the results and human consequence caused  by the wars. Men cannot at times,  it seems, move beyond the military and political aspects of war. If women were in the positions of power, war would happen less I believe. We bear the physical pain of bringing children into the world: so we are not in a hurry to send them off to die. I do not care what kind of rockets they are firing, I care about the death, destruction and bereavement it causes to the children, innocent men and women under the barrage of rockets. It is horrifying to think of what these people are enduring. It is uneccessary and unjust.

As the book says, Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars: our upbringings. attitudes and focus are completely different. It is manmade rules that state I cannot attend Haj without the permission of my husband and must be with a mahram male, I dont find the prophet saying anything about it in Sunnah or Qur'an. But I will comply because it is the rule and accepted way. Can anyone point me to the source of this rule?

Wasalaam

I can't. I am the last person in the world to undertand the opposite sex without the minefield associated with understanding cultural/religiousdifferences/understanding/acceptance/previ ous/current relationships, etc......it goes on.  In fact, as I said to someone today, we all should have become homosexual years ago, given the hurt that the opposite sex causes us.  But we haven't have we?  It's not how we were made.   Something much, much stronger leads us on. (And makes us hate destruction even more if we are the ones perpetuating the species...sorry guys, it just feels like that to us. You don't seem to have had an awful lot to do with it! Not after 9 months.)  Books like the one you mention have become popular for a reason, and like all popular (and successful) things lay themselves open to criticism.  There is much in this book which lends itself to this.  And even more which makes intuitive good sense to both sexes (if we listen).

Our agenda are different.  Our reasons span millenia and are much too deep for most of us to even begin to consider. 

It is manmade rules that state I cannot attend Haj without the permission of my husband and must be with a mahram male, I dont find the prophet saying anything about it in Sunnah or Qur'an. But I will comply because it is the rule and accepted way. Can anyone point me to the source of this rule?

Bismillah,

Sister Maryah,

Whatever anyone says about it, my friend who is from Egypt, returned this year from, I think her sixth hajj.  She accompanied a group of older people as their aide and guide.  Her husband stayed home and watched the kids.

Go with a group, unless you and your husband want to go together.

Salaamu Alaykum

Cassandra wrote: I am going out on a real limb here, and frankly don't expect much response.  But lately I have recognised a real divisive line between the responses of men and the responses of women to, Iraq, and more recently, the horrors of Lebanon.  Men seem to be looking at territorial rights, strategy, weapons, economics, world support, lack of world support, previous conflicts, oh, I don't know, I am not a man.  Women on the other hand seem to be looking at wounds, separation, death, pity,fear, human rights, shortage, children, water, electricity, food, structure. I don't think I want to comment on any of this.  Would anyone else care to?

Bismillah,

I was discussing this Mars/Venus idea with a friend the other day.  I don't think that all of the generalizations made about the sexes are true for Westerners in that book.  And I feel strongly that many of the ideas are completely switched around as regards to the middle eastern male/female mentalities.

There are social and cultural aspects to people as well as the upbringing their individual families gave them.  I've known some very gentle, caring men, and some aggressive abusive females.

Those role ideas are awfully fun to joke about though.  We've got to laugh at something!

Salaamu Alaykum