The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules " From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 
1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem .   See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.  We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh

funny    logical too!

semar wrote: The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are not mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem .   See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . 1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.  We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh

Bismillah,

Why don't you make up your own real list instead of copying and pasting a list from non-Muslims for non-Muslims.  Some of these are just un-Islaamic; some are rude; some are true; some are culturally inapplicable.  Your own real, Muslim person's list would be appreciated.

Salaamu Alaykum

Daniel Dworsky wrote: Philosophical question: If a man is alone in the forest, is he still wrong?

whats he doin in the forest?!

Ok Daniel...hilarious but excruciating to the bone.I totally agree with the last part.How they jus cant ask when in need always amazes me extremely...

Thats why i had to make up this one:

The man's brain is divided into 2parts,the right part has nothing right in it and the left part has nutin left in it.

The only explanation to ur philosophical question that makes the excruciating pain of having to chew up ol that small sentence thats like a piece of tendon(never gets finished)wave goodbye.

SIGH....!