I’d like to be a bear
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Category: General
Forum Name: Humour
Forum Description: "CLEAN" humour only please !
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6893
Printed Date: 27 November 2024 at 5:51pm
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Topic: I’d like to be a bear
Posted By: Hanan
Subject: I’d like to be a bear
Date Posted: 20 September 2006 at 5:11pm
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When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you're a mama bear,everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup...I'd like to be a bear. |
Replies:
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 20 September 2006 at 7:57pm
| Here here. I'd like to be a bear too. |
Posted By: soosoo88
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 8:31pm
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Wow sounds nice, but alhamdulilah im a human being........but would be pretty interesting to be a bear ------------- "The strong one is not the one who overcomes people with his strengh, but the one who controls himself while in anger." |
Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 22 September 2006 at 4:35pm
| I couldn't bear it |
Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 22 September 2006 at 8:09pm
nice pun indeed 
|
Daniel Dworsky wrote:Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 23 September 2006 at 10:48am
| It's been bruin for some time. |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 8:35am
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Just more claws for concern. (for Mishmish and Colin, how I miss them. |
)Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 12:16pm
| I wouldn't maul it over too much |
Posted By: Hanan
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 10:09pm
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A jolly young fellow from Yuma told an elephant joke to a Puma. Now his skeleton lies under hot Western skies. The Puma had no sense of huma. |
Posted By: Colin
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 4:31am
You paw thing, cheer up Angela, I can't bear to see you cry. |
Posted By: Cassandra
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 5:20am
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This one'll cheer you up....................... A bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer. |
Posted By: Colin
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 11:33am
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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "Can I have a large gin..................................................... and tonic please" The barman replys "Of course you can...but why the big pause?" Think about it.... |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 11:37am
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COLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man I've missed you!
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I don't get it.....
Posted By: Colin
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 11:49am
Sorry for my long absence Angela. Problems with my Russian Dellski commi-puter... also, I've changed country.
PS: why the big pause (paws)? Geddit now? ;----) |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 12:15pm
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OOOOOoooooh, PAUSE = PAWS I get it now. LOL My husband will love that one....I hope he just doesn't find it too grizzly.
You know those Dellski computers run on the KGB1917 processor. The only cure is the patch. ak47.exe
|
Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 12:56pm
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A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says to the horse , "Why the long
face?" A Panda walks into a bar orders dinner and when he is finished pulls out a gun and fires a round into the ceiling and calmly exits. This makes perfect sense because Pandas eat shoots and leaves. |
Posted By: Colin
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 3:26am
My Dellski is so riddled with soviet spyware that I have to run homeland security.exe and MI5 (lack of) intelligence.exe |
Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 8:23am
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Oh, watch out... the bolshevik.sys virus imbeds in the BIOS and causes your firewall to turn into an Iron Curtain that you cannot penetrate to the outside world. It takes over your sound card and starts playing nationalist songs and all games like Solitaire that promote individuality are erased. There comes a time when you have to use scorchedearth.exe It may be your only savior. Then you can install Linux (Also known as Free Captialist 9.0) and protect yourself from the greatest Soviet virus of all time. Okna (Windows) XP. |
Posted By: Colin
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 3:04am
Oh dear! In that case I think I better upgrade to the new Chinese operating system: Wingdongs XP Semi-Professional, featuring state of the art innovations such as: Mao-croSoft Woks Suite (and Sour), special fried mice and the great (fire) wall of China. |
Posted By: Cassandra
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 3:59am
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Colin, this'll help you translate the manual.............. Learn Chinese in 5 MinutesThat's not right... Are you harboring a fugitive?... See me ASAP... Stupid Man... Small Horse... Did you go to the beach?... I bumped into a coffee table... I think you need a face lift... It's very dark in here... I thought you were on a diet... This is a tow away zone... Our meeting is scheduled for next week... Staying out of sight... He's cleaning his automobile... Your body odor is offensive... |
Posted By: Hanan
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 6:11pm
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Wai So Dim - I actually know someone by that name |