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DISORDER IN COURT

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: General
Forum Name: Humour
Forum Description: "CLEAN" humour only please !
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7377
Printed Date: 26 November 2024 at 3:20pm
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Topic: DISORDER IN COURT
Posted By: Sign*Reader
Subject: DISORDER IN COURT
Date Posted: 28 October 2006 at 12:54pm
 

  They are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters � who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ................... Don�t miss the last one.

 

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July Fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

 

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

Q: This myasthenia gravis,  does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget.  Can you give us an example of something that you�ve forgotten?

 

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five.  I can�t remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

 

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, �Where am I, Cathy?�

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

 

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

 

Q: Now doctor, isn�t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn�t know about it until the next morning?

 

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-ear old, how is he he?

 

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

 

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

 

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

 

 

 

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q; Were there any girls?

 

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

 

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

 

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?  What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

 

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8: 30 PM.

Q: And Mr. Dennington  was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

 

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.  



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Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.



Replies:
Posted By: ZEA J
Date Posted: 29 October 2006 at 1:14am


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"You will never attain piety and righteousness,(and eventually paradise)until you
spend of that which you love."(Al-Imran:92)


Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 30 October 2006 at 5:25pm


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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: Crimsonrider91
Date Posted: 04 November 2006 at 5:39am
I almost died laughing on the last one!

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Having faith in Allah is it's own reward.


Posted By: Ansarullah
Date Posted: 22 November 2006 at 8:17pm


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"Among His signs is this, that He created wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy" 30:21


Posted By: ysimjee
Date Posted: 23 November 2006 at 12:40am

They walk among us....




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