To fulfill the promise truthfully and with deep humility and admitting my many errors or faults in most of the earlier postings, here are considered most factual Hajj Journal Notes for the blessed readers and strangers on the unfinished journey of our Islam until we became dust again:

THE HAJJ JOURNAL 2005 HIJRA OF ABU ZHULIXIN
 

Oh Allah, by Your Name I begin my affairs
and by Your Qudra I make my deliberations
and unto You is our returning

If you engage upon travel
You will arrive- and may Allah,
be praise be to Him
Guide you and us !

(The Makkan Revelations �Shaykh al-Akbar)

AlhamduliLlah wa syukriLlah. I would like to thanks the wonderful muslims and fellow hajjis and hajjahs whom gave me inspirations to write this journal (unplanned). Capturing all their blessed embraces, presence, advice and prayers they uttered for this humble seeker. Here are part of the names and descriptions which I managed to remember:

Sidi Muhammad Ridha Lua of Kedah

Sidi Abu Bakar of Casablanca, Morocco

Sidi Yassir Abdullah al- Manooni of Meknes

Sidi Abdul Jalil Ahmad and wife

Sidi Muhammad Muazzam of Kasghar, Xinqiang

(a murid of Bekthasi tariqa)

Sidi Shaji of UAE who drive across Hijaz for hajji.

Haji Zulkifli Jusoh of Pekan,royal town of Pahang

Sidi Mustafa Sozen- a Nursi/Risalai Nur  student of Turkey

Sidi Malik and wife Safia of East London

Sidi Muhammad Jiddan al-Qadiri al-Fulani of Sokoto

Sidi Ahmad Saidi of Banting

Sidi Moazzaz � nuclear scientist from Pakistan

Two noble fuqara of Nasqabandiyya Shaykh Abdul Baqi of Turkey

(who parted with their precious copy of Dalailul Khairat at MH)

Sidi Muhammad Dury of Atleb, Kuryn District Officer of Syria

Sidi Abu Bakar Rifai of Istanbul

Sidi Dato� Abdur Rahman Ibrahim of Kuala Lumpur

An Uighur/Kazak Muslim who prayed incessantly

(At the outer Nabawi Mosque near the Raudhah)

Sidi Vahid Bayrak al-Madani ( over 80 years)

Sidi Luqman Chua of Kota Bharu whom I missed to meet

And Sidi Yusof Ong of Shah Alam , Malaysia.

Sidi Ali Yahya al-Aghla al-Jiraini -born in Madinah

A Hajji from Aleppo, Syria

A Senegal student of Madinah (who memorizing Quran

in the Nabawi Mosque and corrected my recitation)

Six  Fuqara of Shaykh Omar Abu Bakar al-Rifai of Ankara

 A Majestic Turkish Sufi at the side of tawaf perimeter first floor

Of Masjidil haram on Friday

Three hajjis from Hotan, China

A Nephew of Dr.Yunus of Mynmar we met on Jabal Qubais Hill

A Mujahidin fund raiser on the roof of MH

A group of Thai Muslims of Bangkok met near the Raudhah

A Turkish alim at the Prophet Mosque

A faqir of Abu Ayyub Ansari descendant of Istanbul

(who presented us a copy of Hisbul Haqaiq an-Nuriyyah)

A hajji from Maharasta, India

Sidi Agus of Tasik Malaya, Bandung

Sidi Muhammad Shafii of Yangon, Mynmar

Dr. Shuja Ali of Tyler University, Texas

Three fuqara of Shaykh Sami Mahmud Effendi

( who passed away and buried in Madinah near Imam Malik at Baqi)-

Sidi Abdul Jalil, Sidi Orhan and Sidi Umar of Turkey.

Sidi Said ibn Zakaria al-Qadiri of Kano

Haji Ramli of Gombak Setia ( Wardah Andalus Hotel roommate)

Haji Yahaya of Kuala Lumpur

Three hajjis from Meknes who sang Lakal-hamdu

Sidi Ibrahim Hassan of Kasghar-Nasqabandi Khufiyya

A Yemeni shopowner  (who sold the Darqawi black tasbih in Madinah)

Sidi Muhammad Samin al-Madani

(who recited doa for us at Masjid Nabawi and waved his

hand as greeting of salam toward the Rawdah)

Two hajjis from Makasar,Sulawesi, Indonesia.

The Beginning

 1.  This seeker journey to Hajj begin more than 25 years ago. One young Chinese economics student had decided that after his final third year exam in University of Malaya in January 1979 is the time to declare the mighty Witnessing of Reality , the Shahada : Ashadu anla ilaha illa Allah, wa ashadu anna Muhammadun rasuluLlah. This is the secret formula to the Door of The Garden. Whoever proclaimed it sincerely deep from his being will be granted by Allah the Garden. He only had to follow the Sunna of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him pecae in fulfilling the five basic pillars of worship. In fact, the seeker had done serious research for 5 years since 1974 in comparative religions. I still remember the magazine Nuggets of Wisdom which I read in the library of Sekolah Alam Shah which contains the excerpts from various sages of the world. Ibnul Arabi the great master said: Engage in travel, you will arrive.

2.      Date   9 Januari 2005- Climb up to the third floor of the Mosque to pray Fajar. Can look down directly at the magnificent House of Allah drapped in black velvet with Quranic inscriptions. Thousand and thousands of pilgrims never stop swirling around it, proclaiming labayka Allahumma labayk. That morning was extra chilling and windy. I was wearing 4 layers of clothing without the outer black jacket. After finish the jamaah prayer, make my way down through the stairs. I saw sleeping figure tucked in one corner at the passageway. May be this is the right man to receive the first sadaqah. Slowly I approach him and tapped him lightly at the shoulder. Assalamualaikum. Allahu akbar, wake up. He turned and opened up the eyes still misty and saw my smiling face. Then I put the money warmly into his hand saying :
 

�From the Sufis -the Sufis,

(meaning) please honor and think well of the Sufis.�

They looked around for the poor and give out for the Face of Allah without hesitation. He must be poor if not why this arab looking man slept at the mosque with bare possessions, why not in his hotel room ?
 

3. I make my way down to ground floor after people had dispersed to get better dhikr position in front of Kaaba. There an ardent mumin praying the nawafil salat or Dhuha almost non-stop facing the House. Up and down may be more than 8 rakaats. Then he stops to raise his hand in prayer just beside me. Suddenly he spread across his hand to lift my copy of Diwan Shaykh Muhammad ibn alHabib without asking my permission. I glanced at him and talked with him several minutes. At last, I gave a black tasbih to him and asked his prayer for the muslims and all the Sufis. He was a student at Cairo and doing his hajj first time.
 
Two Old Uighurs and We Are Sufiyye

4.   After this encounter, I moved to another corner of the Mosque to continue my doa, dhikr, salawat and Quran. Two old hajji from Uighur China caught my attention. They are easily discernable by the Chinese Turkic face and wearing the cotton brown jacket. I gave salam and kissed both of them on their cheek, how happy when two strangers muslim meet each with greeting, respect, honor and love of Allah. The elder Uighur said to me : Shariat � Tariqat �Haqiqat and Marifat ! He seems to be a sufi lovers.

Nahnu kullu sufiyyat !

We are all Sufis when travel fisabilillah, we yearn for the Awliya of Allah, we see the lights of iman in their frugal faces. So I prayed for their people in Xinqiang or East Turkestan, may Allah bless you and make their deen strong there. I mentioned all the name of places I know about them : Kasghar, Urumqi and about the tariqas or menhuan: Khufiyya, Jahriyya, Qadiriyya and Nasqabandiyya. They nodded in agreement.before departing, we embraced each other again. Tears almost flowing down their cheeks.

Somewhere in midday, I encountered 3 old Hui women from China in the mosque about the age of 60-70 but still strong and healthy. They smiled at me when I gave greeting of salam, saying that I am Chinese muslim from Malaysia. I put something into their hands- baraka Allah and may Allah bless you all, your family and people at home.
 
Perfume of Awliya From Tetuoan, Mostaganem and Meknes

5.  Alhamdulillah, met 3 muslims from Algeria, they wore the distinctive jellaba, noble looking and very relaxed sitting at some pillars. I gave salam, approach them and talked with them inquired where they came from : Tetouan-this place sound familiar. So I tell them I know about Shaykh Ahmad Mustafa Alawi of Mostaganem and Shaykh Abdus Salam ibnu Mashish. They are delighted with this news. Again the key word is sufi-tasawwuf seem to unite our hearts. We kissed each other hands and get a warm embrace. I bring out the little green book Diwan of SMH to show them our linkage with the Darqawi-Shadhili tariqa. They happily glanced through the introduction page�..al-Arif biLlah Shaykh Muhammad ibn alhabib al Maghari al-Hassani. My heart indicated that if a man do dhikr intensely in one right place, it will attract the lovers of Allah to be near him without realizing it or unexpectedly.
 

Mistakes and Lessons From The Shoppers

6.  During the first week at Makkah before departing to the great plains of Arafa for wuquf, we had many opportunity to wander around the streets and shops. You can see through the shopkeepers greedy look. Come, come ,come , buy, buy..at my shop, cheap, cheap..glitterings goods. The aggressive ones will stop you at your track. Pull you to their side shopwares. I was angry when one of the young arab pulled my hand despite my dislike and strong prostest. I stared my angry face st them.You want to fight ! Not me ! Realising this nafs ugly clash with others, I quickly retreated. Make a firm resolution- no buying or shopping at Makkah until I finish my hajj !

Mistakes learned :

1. Don�t haggle over prices.
2. Don�t set your heart upon the good displayed at the market.
3. Avoid the road/street that lined up with busy people.
4. If pulled or held by sellers, don�t fight. Just turn away fast, don�t look at them.
5. Wear a serious look and don�t loiter slowly inspecting the goods.
6. Don�t stay too long at top floor of Mosque during Fajar prayer, you will get cold/flu.

7. Today is Friday, a festival day of dhikr, prayer and gifts from Allah. The faqir had tasted the meaning of being poor, nothing left at the pockets. Emptying out. Yaumul Jumaat, you must be extra generous. Fisabilillah. Not nice to count your tijarah which will never lose. Allah Taala had bought the selves and belongings of the muminun in exchange for His Garden. Read surah at-Taubat : Inna Allaha sytaral minal muminuna anfusahum wa amwalahum bi-anna lahumul-jannah�.

Another lesson �even performing a good action can be a trap and distraction. Not you are doing it, not your power or your intellect but the source is from Him. Min fadhliLlah-the overflowing of Allah.

To Be At The Heart of Existence

8.  Shaykh Abdal Qadir as-sufi says in the book �The Way of Muhammad :

Hajj means � �to struggle with, to make a spiritual journey, an argument , a single hajj, a year�. To circle the Kaaba, in the phrase of the Greatest Master, � to be at the heart of existence of the world�. It is clear that to the hajji that the Saee(running in straight line seven times between Safa and Marwa) is about his existence and the Tawaff (around the Ancient House) is about Allah�s reality and the slave non-existence.

9. The seeker was astonished to find some shops at Makkah are selling exotic teas from the East.  As connosoeir of Chinese teas, he bought two packets of Rabea Jasmine Scented Tear. A Khawja Sufi from Persia hundred years ago wrote a masterpiece of  story on the hidden secret of the tea where the merchants valued it highly but the common people just treat it as a boiled water with some kinds of leaves and herbs. What important is the Sufis had opened up  the Shops of Tea Experience everywhere they traveled to share this divine drink.

Secrets of Hajj From Maulana Rumi

10.  Maulana Rumi tell us something about this merchants in his Mathnawi :

�And come to us like a caravan
This is not a long road
Can the desert stop the merchants ?
The heart travels to Kaaba
Every moment.

Who bow his head to the King
Of kings will receive a hundred kingdoms
Not of this world.

You are like the Day of Arafah
And the Day of Idhul Adha

I am at the beginning of  month Dzul Hijjah
I can never reach You nor can
I cut myself from You.

 O people who had gone to hajj
Where a re you, where are you ?

The Friend is in this very place
(near you), come,come here

Your Friend, he is your neighbour
His wall and yours are one �
Bewildered in the desert, what do
You seek and roam, when you behold
Without forms of  this your Friend
Then, the Lord, The House and Kaaba
Will you become yourself.

11. The most powerful allegory by Rumi about Kaaba and

the Qibla of the worshippers are as below:

The longer the Way
The more companions are necessary �
The way to Kaaba is hard
One needs a long caravan and
A Caravan Leader (Shaykh)

And how much more difficult is
It to come closer to God through so
Many veils, steep mountains and
Highway robbers !

The Kaaba of Jibrail and
the spirits Is a Lotus Tree
the qibla of the belly slave
is food on the table cloth

The Qibla of the Gnostics
Is the Light of Arrival,
The qibla of the philosophers
Intellect is phantasy.

The qibla od the ascetic/zahid
Is the Generous Lord (al-Karim)
The qibla of the flatterer is
A purse of gold.

To be continued :

Insya�Allah and still 70 pages  to be retyped from old tattered diary.My daughter Atiqato San had dutifully retyped 50% of that entries before she wentTo Manchester University, UK   But still many errors and blank space where they cant understand. Have patience and let the tree blooms in right time.

1 Zulhijjah/ 12 January 2005

My Chinese muslim friend of more than 20 years Sidi Ridha Lua which we met at the office of late Ustaz Ishak Ma at Perkim in 1990 just now came to visit me at Hotel Sevilla Baraka (800m). I wonder what clothes he wear now clear � ihram (ifrad) until finish jamrah. Advised him to bring sajada to mosque so can share with others, sadaqa or keep warm on cold floor. His roommates are Dato� Abdul Rahman Ibrahim, ex-police officer. Own a lot of company. Khairi the son of this man was given tips how to give out  sadaqa of tasbih and prayer rug. Use them first in MH, there give to the needy people or your relatives. Much baraka.

Bring four sajada for sadaqa:

a.       To a Palestinian man with his mother

b.       An old Chinese lady

c.       One special rug prayer over Jamah on top of a stone lap. Never in my life prayed Jamah alone without saf in front/back, at left and on the right is another --- to next man praying.

Related to Ridha that SAQ had authorized a Shaykh in Kano, Nigeria � SH Najiib al-Brimah who declared the wilayat of SAQ written in  small booklet that he saw the ground at  his feet doing glorification of Allah.

Discover the forgotten Du�a in Masjidil Haram today from the Diwan of SMH.

�Allahumma inni as-aluka filal- khairati � war tarkal � munkarati wa hubbal � masakin�

2 Zulhijjah/ 13 January 2005

Pray Fajr at MH went early in 1.00am. Basement floor quite warm. Able to salat facing Kaaba at the ground floor/near stairs.

Sadaqa to man from Yaman. First he returned it but I insisted he take it for all the mazakin which slept around him for food. I said to him I may not long pray here will left soon. He graciously accepted it and embraced/kissed his cheek. Fi sabililllah/ Allahu Karim.

Second sadaqa to man probably from Afghan/Pakistan over 70 years old. He engaged in long nafila prayer and sit with raised hands du�a to Allah Taala. A contented face- ridha and humility. I walk slowly to his side, give salam and kissed his cheek. He seem surprised and I quickly retreat saying fisabilillah and salamualaikum. He unable to react/stunt momentarily that some has given him sadaqa. Alhamdulillah wa syukrillah.

Able to finish the wirid from Salawat Najiyyah

Allahumma Ya Sabighual � Ni�am wa Ya Dafial � Niqam

Alhamdulillah manage to occupy first saf in the basement where no people over step others. Beside the stairs/door to ground floor.

Saw an elderly man with stick and barefooted probably lost his sandals out side the Hudeiba gate. Grabbed whatever ledt of small changes in the pocket, tapped his back and put into his hand quickly. He seems surprised and waved back to me � ep come eat with me@ I say no and left quickly.

Recounted the Hadith Qudsi to SR that Allah Taala asked Prophet Musa alaih salam what ibadah he has done solely for Him. He said : I pray, fast, give Zakat, but all this is reward of protection for the self in Day of Rising. Perplexed, Nabi Musa asked Allah Taala to tell him such special worship/action for His sake?

Oh Musa, such and such my slave is hungry

and have you feed him?

Or another version:

Oh Musa, I am hungry, do you give food to me.

Oh Allah, You are Lord of the World, How do I give food to you.

Do you not find the among slaves who are hungry, thirsty,

 naked and sick/lowly, when you take care them as

 if you will Me among them (will my love and ridha dor them).

 They rely solely on me to provide them

 through the mean of creation.

So- Sidi Ridha, you see many people do Hajj. Or pray/fast are expecting self reward from Allah but forget about others. Sadaqa  for the way of Allah its higher, better than most of  all voluntary prayer/fasting which only benefit our self !

The Miracle Event Friday 2 Zulhijjah / 14 January 2005

 Came out from Hotel Seville on the Khaled al-Waled street already teeming with people walking to MH about 800m away. To be practical I wear trouser and baju kungfu as outer coat. Nearing the square at MH at Hotel Firdays Moklah people barely moved, all the street pavement were filled with people waiting for prayer. Imagine at  11.15am already jammed. (the store is perfectly facing the Qibla/Kaaba). Jumaah prayer start around 12.30pm. My heart sanks when realizing there is no turning back and also no more space to move. I intend to return or to escape. The biggest culprit is the women supposed not to go out to attend Jumaat but they occupy spaces mean for men! Women, better stay back in Friday.

For about 30minutes, I slowly sneak out among packed rows of people along the shop corridor. The sun rays already hot. Pity to many people who faced the same predicament. Carpet is the jam/no space � allahu akbar, sabar, sabar. After 100metres, suddenly Allah make me remember the narrow pathway uphill beside al Khalej Palace where R stays. 45% narrow steps about 100metres up. Alhamdulillah Allahu Akbar manage to wriggle out and find a spot at 100 feet height about a steep valley under construction.

Food.Cleared a store slap measure about 2 feet x 4 feet cool under the building shade. Recite Dhikr :

10X Allahu latifun bi ibadihi yarzaqu man yasyaa

wa Huwal � Qawwiyu � Aziz  and

Allah ya Latifu / Ya Hafizu

This view from the masakin quarters which we will never get if prayers inside MH! What a magnificent/amazing view of humanity crammed below waiting for two hours for Jumaat under the sun! It make remember the city of Fez where SMH taught a lesson by a faqir.

I crossed the fence off dangerous area to sit on this spot. Just three feet away a cliff of 80feet deep. If fall/slip away face death or serious injury. I not realized the danger until I observed I sit on a

Before Fajr prayer, unexpectedly sat beside a Turkish faqir who wear a slim white turban � two of them with full beard. They engaged in long dhikr and Quran. After several minutes and a few rakaat of nafila prayer � I saw his little green book title : �Dalailul � Khairat�. My heart get excited, this work on more than 100 salawat by Shaykh Jazuli of Marakech, Morocco  was Shadihilyya Master in the 15^th century. We greet each other but never asked one another names. I ask his permission to glance through the DK and tell him the similar salawat appears the Diwan/Wirid of SMH. I mentioned Konya/ Maulana Rumi, Shaykh Sulaiman Dede and Shaykh Sami Effendi which SAQ had met them in his early journey to hajj in 1970s. They faces lightened up where hearing such amazing news from a Malaysian faqir. I tell them we follow SMH from Maghrib/Shadhiliyya Tariqa. One big brotherhood. Several minutes later he indicated to me��  if you came and sit under the same spot below the clock at Jumaat prayer, I will give you a copy of this DH. Okay! Tammam! � He saw through my love and enthusiasm for DH. I tried to recite as many salaway and du�a/prayer from this green DH nicely printed in Turkey. Time flew past quickly, still around 5.00am. Fajr azan at 5.35am. First azan at 4.45am. We sit at first floor at gate 65. Eastern side from Hotel Sevilla Baraka.

Then unexpectedly he said to me, �You can have this little green kitab Dalailul Khairat now, it�s yours!� Masya Allah, how fast Allah change our heart if we loved Him and His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace!

The first miracles event of Friday morning, I will check again if I embraced islam 25 years ago on the same date/day in early January 1979 or equivalent 1400 Hijra . Today is year 1425 Hijra. Blessed with five children, three girls and two boys. After prayer, we kissed each other cheeks before departing.

3 Zulhijjah/ 15 January 2005

Go early to MH at 4.00am for salat Fajr. Sit in second saf at basement. Sneak out to ground floor to look at majestic Kaaba and people twirling in tawaf non stop. Recite as many du�a and Quran while standing at the stair end � full of people cannot get further.

A stranger in front now quite young and red fair looking must be Turkish muslim- engaged in long standing, ruku and sujud in nafila prayer. He is so concentrated that I never saw his full face. When he eat, his distributed dates wrapped in plastic to his neighbours on the left and right sides.

Immediate after Fajr prayer he was gone without doing his usual dhikr. His face indicated he is from Turkey. Look like Sidi Umar Vadillo, our Rais from Basque Catalan, North of Spain.He embraced Islam after an extraordinary meeting with Sidi Shaykh at the Madrid University Library, followed by a private tea at his residence where the lights and secrets unfold.

At 7.30 morning went over to SR al-Khalej Palace 50km from Gate 65 of MH across the road. Alhamdulillah had breakfast with roti canai and we sang Lakar Hamd for Dato� Abdul Rahman and Ridha to thank Allah for all gift of Islam and blessing of dunya. Advice SR not to do sunat tawaf because his feet was swollen. Take good care and rest.

On the way back to my hotel, I venture to climb the hill and find a short cut � to see where the mazakin lives. Midway 200m above I was tired and take a rest near an open area where two elderly Arab/Yamani women sat eating bread, tea and dates. They gesture to me to eat from their shoe of food. I smiled and hesitated but to gain the blessing of Allah and glabdeed their generosity, I go and received a long bread and an orange from them. I put them in my plastic bag and many put a surprise sadawa in their sajada although they reguse to take money from me, I smile and quickly left after tucked the money. May Allah reward them for their care and generosity upon this stranger that moving . May be I was wearing clumsy t-shirt and black jacket. They think I am a needy one.

I already advised Sidi Ridha to be fierce/shout Allahu Akbar when pulled by some con men seeking money when in Makkah.

-    don�t bring your Malaysian bag they think you are rich.

-    Beware � let keep out appearance dusty but tought

-    don�t engage in eye contact/stay away.

-     Walk quickly and don�t look at them

-    He was surprised that many bad things happen in Makkah

-    Don�t trust anyone unless your heart say yes.

Alhamdulillah by lunch at 2.00 pm I managed to finish all the bread to take fullest blessing of sadawa. The orange at dinar.

Visited Sidi Ahmad Basir from Banting at Hotel Habibah. We sat on rubber mat at the corridor and talked about our experiences on this Hajj. He came with his wife.