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Sunan Abi Dawud 2082 (Book 12, Hadith 37) #22373
Looking Before Proposing Marriage

SUMMARY: It is permissible to look at a woman before proposing marriage, as long as it is done in a respectful manner.

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَاحِدِ بْنُ زِيَادٍ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ دَاوُدَ بْنِ حُصَيْنٍ، عَنْ وَاقِدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، - يَعْنِي ابْنَ سَعْدِ بْنِ مُعَاذٍ - عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏ "‏ إِذَا خَطَبَ أَحَدُكُمُ الْمَرْأَةَ فَإِنِ اسْتَطَاعَ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إِلَى مَا يَدْعُوهُ إِلَى نِكَاحِهَا فَلْيَفْعَلْ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَخَطَبْتُ جَارِيَةً فَكُنْتُ أَتَخَبَّأُ لَهَا حَتَّى رَأَيْتُ مِنْهَا مَا دَعَانِي إِلَى نِكَاحِهَا وَتَزَوُّجِهَا فَتَزَوَّجْتُهَا

TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  respect  *  zawaj  *  istikhaarah  *  adab

QUICK LESSONS:
Look at someone respectfully before proposing marriage if possible.

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about the importance of looking at someone before proposing marriage. It is permissible to do so, as long as it is done in a respectful manner. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that when one of his followers asked for a woman's hand in marriage, he should look at her first if he was able to do so. Jabir ibn Abdullah narrated that he did this himself and found what induced him to marry her. This hadith teaches us the importance of respect and consideration when asking for someone's hand in marriage, and also encourages us to take our time and make sure we are making the right decision before committing ourselves into something serious like marriage.

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