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Sunan Ibn Majah 1860 (Book 9, Hadith 16) #31212
Marrying a Virgin vs. Previously Married Woman

SUMMARY: The Prophet advised Jabir to marry a virgin so that he could play with her, but Jabir chose to marry a previously married woman instead in order to avoid creating trouble between her and his sisters.

It was narrated that: Jabir bin Abdullah said: "I married a woman during the time of the Prophet and he said: 'Have you got married, O Jabir?' I said: 'Yes'. He said: 'To a virgin or to a previously-married woman?' I said: 'A previously married woman'. He said: 'Why not a virgin so you could play with her?' I said: 'I have sisters and did not want her to create trouble between them and me'. He said: 'That is better then'. "
حَدَّثَنَا هَنَّادُ بْنُ السَّرِيِّ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَةُ بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ، عَنْ عَطَاءٍ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ـ ـ فَلَقِيتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ـ ـ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَزَوَّجْتَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَبِكْرًا أَوْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ ثَيِّبًا ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ بِكْرًا تُلاَعِبُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ كُنَّ لِي أَخَوَاتٌ فَخَشِيتُ أَنْ تَدْخُلَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهُنَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَذَاكَ إِذًا

TOPICS
marriage  *  virginity  *  trouble

QUICK LESSONS:
Consider your family members when making decisions and think about their consequences on those around you before taking them.

EXPLANATIONS:
In this hadith narrated by Jabir bin Abdullah, the Prophet advises him to marry a virgin so that he can play with her. However, Jabir chooses to marry a previously married woman instead in order to avoid creating trouble between her and his sisters. This hadith teaches us the importance of considering our family members when making decisions and how it is better for us in the long run if we do not create unnecessary tension or conflict within our families. It also shows us how important it is for us as Muslims to think about our actions before we take them and consider their consequences on those around us.

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