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Riyad as-Salihin 149 (Book) #38534
Striking a Balance Between Religion and Family

SUMMARY: This hadith is about the importance of striking a balance between fulfilling one's religious obligations and taking care of one's family.

Abu Juhaifah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet ﷺ made a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abud-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abud-Darda' and found Umm Darda' (his wife) dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied: "Your brother Abud-Darda' is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world. In the meantime Abud-Darda' came in and prepared a meal for Salman. Salman requested Abud-Darda' to eat (with him) but Abud-Darda' said: "I am fasting". Salman said: "I am not going to eat unless you eat". So, Abud-Darda' ate (with Salman). When it was night and (a part of the night passed), Abud-Darda' got up (to offer the night prayer) but Salman asked him to sleep and Abud-Darda' slept. After some time Abud-Darda' again got up but Salman asked him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salman asked him to get up and both of them offered (Tahajjud) prayer. Then Salman told Abud-Darda': "You owe a duty to your Rabb, you owe a duty to your body; you owe a duty to your family; so you should give to every one his due. Abud-Darda' came to the Prophet ﷺ and reported the whole story. Prophet ﷺ said, "Salman is right". Al- Bukhari.
وعن أبي جحيفة وهب بن عبد الله رضي الله عنه قال‏:‏ آخى النبي ﷺ بين سلمان وأبى الدرداء ، فزار سلمان أبا الدرداء، فرأى أم الدرداء متبذلة فقال‏:‏ ما شأنك قالت‏:‏ أخوك أبو الدرداء ليس له حاجة في الدنيا، فجاء أبو الدراداء فصنع له طعاماً، فقال له‏:‏ كل فإنى صائم، قال‏:‏ ما أنا بآكل حتى تأكل، فأكل، فلما كان الليل ذهب أبو الدرداء يقوم فقال له‏:‏ نم، فنام، ثم ذهب يقوم فقال له ‏:‏ نم، فلما كان من آخر الليل قال سلمان‏:‏ قم الآن‏:‏ فصليا جميعاً، فقال له سلمان‏:‏ إن لربك عليك حقاً، وإن لنفسك عليك حقاً، ولأهلك عليك حقاً، فأعط كل ذى حق حقه، فأتى النبي ﷺ فذكر ذلك له، فقال النبي ﷺ ‏ "‏صدق سلمان‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه البخاري‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏
TOPICS
balance  *  obligations  *  family  *  duty  *  mizan  *  faraid  *  usrah  *  wajib

QUICK LESSONS:
Strike a balance between religion and family life , Take care of oneself before attending to religious duties , Fulfill ones obligations towards their families as well as their faith

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks to the importance of striking a balance between fulfilling one’s religious obligations and taking care of one’s family. The story begins with Salman visiting Abud-Darda', who was his brother in faith, and finding his wife dressed in shabby clothes. When asked why she was dressed this way, Umm Darda' replied that her husband was not interested in worldly luxuries. Abud-Darda' then prepared a meal for Salman but refused to eat it as he was fasting. Salman insisted that he eat with him so they could both enjoy the meal together. Later on, when it came time for them to pray at night, Salman asked Abud-Darda' to sleep instead as he felt that he should take care of himself first before attending to his religious duties. In the end, when Abud-Darda reported this incident to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ , he said that what Salman said was right; thus emphasizing the importance of striking a balance between religion and family life.

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