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Why Muslims girls are facing problems in

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Divine View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 January 2016 at 2:15am

Assalamualaikum Brothers and Sisters,

This post is like a gentle warning about Islam preachings. Myself Noor and by Allah grace i am well educated and working professional.

With the help of this forum I want to raise voice and share darker side of being girl.

I have been treated like a puppet since from the legal age of marriage as declared by government.  I have had been like a victim or I can say this custom made me victim. As I passed 12 class, so like other parents my parents also started searching groom for me and every time I have to get ready to showcase myself in front of boys family members. Each time huge amount was wasted due to all this. If I have a good memory then I still remember that 50 families came to see me and every time same set of procedure was followed. This kills Noor inside me day by day.
Due to all this my parents stopped my studies without giving a thought that I want to study more. That time I always asked Allah: �Is it a crime to be a girl in Muslim family?"


Always I keep on motivating myself, that day will come in your life too Noor, you just have to be patience and have faith. I have firm believe what Allah does is best for us.

Then turning point came in my life after lots of patience.

One day family came to see me for marriage purpose then they asked me "What you have done?" I said graduation and at same point my father said my daughter is very talented as she cleared her CPMT (Medical entrance) in one go but you know I never allowed her to join as this profession is not good for girls in Islam (due to his so called belief I have to sacrifice my dream of being doctor)
Then again boy's father asked me "Why you didn't fight for your rights?"
I said I did but at the end I gave up as no one supported me. Then he asked me
"Why u are not doing job, you are well qualified?" Here I was speechless, still I said my family won't allow me. He simply said "Beta we are looking for working girl and confident too" and in your case if you can't take stand for yourself them how come you will handle family? So from there my journey started as working women. That time also it was not by my choice but most of the family�s requirement was working girl, so I started. Now as I grow my earning also increase and that become an obstacles in marriage. Society never let you be happy.

Then at one point I asked my parents please stop searching groom for me if this is true that �Allah created boy for girl vice versa� and let him do his job.
After so many hurdles I found one guy 3 years back and then I started thinking that might be my life will take change, but here also society dogmatic believes came up between us.
Before proceeding further I want to ask:  Marriage within caste is right as per Islam or wrong?. As per my knowledge or what I heard and read is "There is no caste system in ISLAM" ISLAM is one and it�s the only religion which teaches to be united and be as one.
Then why all these society contractor made this that marrying within caste is good and if you marry girl outside the caste then there will be honor killing... Why? Why? Why?
A ray of hope which I got few years back is also a victim of this believe and due to which we are not able to marry.
We both love each other and want to marry. In this regard he talk to his mother and his mother emotionally black mailed him that if he marry girl outside his caste then he has to leave them and she said his father is patient if something happened to him then he will be solely responsible for any uncertainty. After hearing all this he got scared and said no to me for marriage. We both are suffering just because of this societies thinking that too is not as per ISLAM.
Who is responsible what so ever is happened with us? I am not blaming him that he denied due to family pressure but I respect him. This is just because of his upbringing that made him like this due to which he won't be able to make decision what is right and what is wrong.

Our Muslims accept girl from other religion and they feel proud by saying we are increasing numbers.


My question here is if you all are busy in increasing numbers then who is going to think about Muslim girls? Who will marry with us? Boys keep going increasing number and they feel proud that they bring one non-Muslim into Muslim.
What kind of duality it is?? You won't accept girl from your religion. On other hand you accept girls from other religion. Wow what ISLAM people follow in today's world.
Did anyone gave a thought of it what will happen to Muslim girls??? As we keep on increasing number by marry with other religion girls and time will come when you won't find any Muslim boy for Muslim daughter or sister.


Please give a thought of it???

This story is not only mine there are many Muslims girls who is suffering like this and society doesn't allow them to raise their voice or stand for their true right in Islam. There are many innocent girl who is feeling so helpless. Our so called religious teachers never ever take these woman issue seriously. Only they preach this is good or this bad and put �Fatwah�. I want to know why not on this matter?? Why Boys are allowed to marry Non-Muslim girls and why there is caste system in Muslims?

I won�t find any scholar or preacher who fight for woman rights that is for highest of all Muslims woman. Time is changing and society developed in education and many other areas but some Muslim people still very conservative and dogmatic beliefs like caste in Islam, which in return affect their own Islamic girls. What is this?

I want answer and clear answer not only preaching and this voice is from many Muslims girls they are asking this from many years but still not getting clarity and help to improve their life..
I request you all who read this that seriously think and help each other. You have many woman around like your mother, sister, daughter, wife or any friend. Respect woman emotions and help in their soul journey here on earth for their happiness also not only selfishly think about Muslim Men.
Don't be fake and so selfish brothers and uncles. Just do something for the genuine right of Muslim girls..Shukriya

If I hurt anyone sentiments unknowingly then please forgive me. I will be so grateful to those who give solution and answer �

Allah Hafiz.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote icforumadmin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2016 at 5:14pm
Salam/Peace,

The problem that you mention is not caused by "Islam", it's a culture things. Many muslim society such I Indonesia, Malaysia, Bruney, Turkey and many other places they don't face any problem.

Girls can go to any school, work any places they want, even though many of them choose to stay home take caring their children, but its' their choice.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Divine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2016 at 9:23pm

Wa alaikum assalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Peace be upon all, Thank you so much for response and I really appreciate that problem which we are facing is not there in other countries. But, in India people are buried under such dogmatic beliefs that marriage within caste is matter of prestige and proud and marry with Non-Muslim is like earning heaven for them.
I am very well aware about that caste system is not there in ISLAM, we are just adopting the culture of Non-Muslims by following caste system, due to which many Muslims(girls/boys) are suffering.

It is a duty of being a Muslim to speak up about injustice and wrongdoing, so I am doing the same.

Apart from discrimination among gender, I have raised issue about Muslim men marrying non-Muslim women and Muslim women finding it therefore hard to find a husband, and one has to agree with me that it is not adequately addressed by any Scholar or by any site. If we really want we as Muslims to shine then first of all we have to look into the roots of problem.

I really want people like you come forward and help Muslim sisters like us who are facing this issue or who all are victim of this cultural trend.

So I request you all who all are reading this post please raise your voice and take steps towards finding some solutions.

This post is merely for finding solutions and if anyone who can help us by any means is most welcome.

Allah Hafiz

 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MarieFahnert Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2016 at 3:33am
People will work according to there religion we are no one to speak any think...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NABA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 January 2016 at 8:21am
Only solution is to revive fear of Allah in those Muslim boys who marry non Muslim girls,Allah forbids this action in ch 2 v 221 of Quran. When you marry you are not bringing only a girl in ur life but also her family in ur life.aftereffects of interreligion marriage books your ticket to hell,because even if u so call convert a girl to Islam yet she will celebrate Diwali or holi or Christmas because of her family.so by spreading word of Allah we can suppress this problem at least by few percentage in Sha Allah.and those who say they are conservative due to Islam and don't allow girls to study or work,I openly question them,First ever revelation of Quran was that in which Allah says read in the name of Lord who created you from clay read in the name of Lord who taught you that you didn't know read in the name of Lord who is the doer of big things. So first revelation was to gain knowledge for all of us irrespective of caste,sex or colour.prophet Muhammad S.A.W (pbuh)said it is obligatory for every man and woman to gain knowledge.Allah hafiz
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AhmadJoyia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 March 2016 at 1:52pm
Originally posted by Divine Divine wrote:

My question here is if you all are busy in increasing numbers then who is going to think about Muslim girls? Who will marry with us? Boys keep going increasing number and they feel proud that they bring one non-Muslim into Muslim.
What kind of duality it is?? You won't accept girl from your religion. On other hand you accept girls from other religion. Wow what ISLAM people follow in today's world.
Did anyone gave a thought of it what will happen to Muslim girls??? As we keep on increasing number by marry with other religion girls and time will come when you won't find any Muslim boy for Muslim daughter or sister.
Ok Sis, although you have raised a genuine issue about cultural (in fact taboo) influence on Muslim societies, however, I think your specific question asked above is meaningless. You are correct to argue about your parents disposition about discontinuation of your studies and then over the caste system for marriage etc, but how is it related to restricting other Muslims to do what is allowed for them. On the same note, why Pakistani males, unlike Arabs, are not allowed to have multiple wives, which may resolve such issues for which you are restricting others? P.S. I am not a pro-polygamy, by choice, however, Islam provides solution to such issues, where required.
Now coming to the plight of women in cultures like Pakistan, I think, it is because of ignorance of people about Islam through their own quest for learning about Islam. Generally, all one have the knowledge about Islam, is from the Islamiyat courses from class 1 to class 14, that too, just to pass the exam or to take good grade without critically analyzing as what is being taught and why? This problem is more within the female community as compared with the male just as in your case, it is the mother of your proposed person, who is against marrying outside the caste. I the end, I hope and pray, that you get married quickly with the person of your choice, as Allah's will. Best regards.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ringer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2016 at 3:14pm
That is very sad for you Divine/Noor(?); I am so sorry you are suffering.

What country are you from?  (Someone mentioned Pakistan but I didn't actually see that in your original message.)

I didn't know that Muslim families used a "caste system", but thought that was most other religions like Hindu.

Caste systems are evil -- just another form of racism.  (Technically perhaps not 'racism' but similar in one group thinking they are automatically better than another group.)

What matters is the quality of the people, not the caste, or even the religion.

I wish you the very best possible and hope you will be able to continuing learning.
--
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Divine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2016 at 9:32pm
Dear Ringer,

Please don't feel sorry for anyone, if you really feel sorry then try to help all those who has been suffering from years....
I strongly oppose that 'caste system' is created by families, it has been congenital from our so called Islamic preachers... just because of their own conformist and dogmatic beliefs they teach people about the caste system. They forgot what is there in Quran...

Caste only divide people and heart.

 

AH




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