How should a woman rightfully behave?

Hi sisters,

I have a question on the social etiquette of a muslim woman, be it at work or others. 

How should a woman,being a muslim, rightfully behave, at work, for instance?Do you suppose that a Muslim woman should not be too friendly enough to socialise at work(with Muslims and non-muslims),be it male or female?Should she not be too reserved when working with her colleagues?

My question is about the adab or the manner between a brother and sister?
I need clarifcation, are we allowed to give salam to sister who is not your muhram or talk to her as you talk to a brother, and how much you allowed to talk?
and what about the non-muhram who are cousine, for example the uncles daughter Am I allowed to give salam and talk to her, and how is her life?please provide for me daleel(proof) and what about marriage?
what allowed talk and salam, ( what is allowed and not) all these things!
because today people mixed between culture and deen, when you tell them about that they say you are bringing new religon!, even alot brothers who relgious don't know this, you may see salafy brother talking weetlgy to sister who were nikab and not his muhram,

Praise be to Allaah.

In brief, what the fuqaha� have said about women�s voices is that they are not �awrah in and of themselves, and there is nothing wrong with listening to them when there is a need to do so, so they do not forbid listening to them, but certain conditions apply, as follows:

The woman should speak without elongating the words, making her voice soft, or raising her voice. It is haraam for a man to listen with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation).

The decisive factor for knowing what is haraam in the matter of women�s speaking is what is included in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

�O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.� [al-Ahzaab 33:32]

What is forbidden is being too soft in speech. It is obligatory for women to speak in an honourable manner, which means, as the mufassireen explained, that they should not make their voices soft when addressing men. In conclusion, what is required of the Muslim woman when she speaks to a non-mahram man is that she should adhere to what is mentioned in this aayah. She should refrain from what is forbidden and should fulfil her duties. She should speak only when necessary, and only about matters that are permissible and honourable, not evil. Between a woman and a non-mahram man there should be no intonation, gestures, chat, joking, flirting or playful talk, so that there will be no room for provocation of desires and doubts. Women are not prevented from talking to non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, such as dealing directly with them when buying things or conducting any other financial transaction, because in such cases it is necessary for both parties to speak. A woman may also ask a scholar about some legal Islamic matter, or a man may ask a woman such questions, as is proven in various texts of the Qur�aan and Sunnah. Within the guidelines described above, there is nothing wrong with a woman speaking to a non-mahram man. It is also permissible for men to greet women with salaam and vice versa, according to the most correct opinion, but this greeting must be free of anything that may provoke desire in the person in whose heart is a disease, so as to be safe from fitnah and pay attention to the regulations outlined above.

If there is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful. (See al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar�ah by �Abd al-Kareem Zaydaan, vol 3/276). And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

Bismillah,

Subhanna AllahulAtheem!

When asking this question you should consider who you are, what your situation is, what you believe, what you know to be true about yourself.  You have to understand that you could be asking someone who wears only black from head to toe with her face covered, hands gloved, and garment so long that it covers her shoes as she walks.  Or you could be asking someone who wears a bikini with no compunction.  The point I am making to you is that you should just be aware of who you are taking advice from because you should have in mind what your ultimate goal is. 

I have the experience of having worn hijab and jilbab for 15 years, with the previous 21 not of course since I wasn't Muslim.  Now I dress modestly, some would say dowdily (giggle to them!)  I will advise you thusly.  Men will be attracted to you no matter what you wear or how you talk because whatever they are going to like about a woman, they just will like it, and really there's not much to be done.  (Even my friend who does wear full black  as I think of it from head to toe, and used a nasal tone purposefully when speaking to men,  had men approach her romantically while she was living in Jordan!)

If you are smart enough to tell what a flirt is, simply, don't be a flirt.  Get your female co-workers advice about a male coworker that you are unsure of concerning his particular reputation.  Each situation is different, and we need to be aware and respond appropriately.

And if my male coworker makes a polite joke and I am the only one not laughing or at least smiling, that would just be rude!  And you know what, people who think that using a soft voice is wrong are wrong themselves.  Some men have soft voices, what are they supposed to do for goodness sake?  We should watch our manners and mannerisms according to the culture of the environement we are in, and basically just not flirt.  Joking is not flirting.  It completely depends on what you are joking about and how it is done.  Don't laugh.  Ha ha ha!  I laugh at this comment.

Men giving religious advice can be flirting with the tone of their voices and posture of their faces and eyes.  It is not the topic, necessarily, but the tone of the interaction among the people involved.  This subject is really complex, and trying to simplify it by saying: don't make your voice soft, is unrealistic and won't help.  But saying don't flirt, and you have to figure out what flirting is for the situation you're in requires a lot of thought.  And we are supposed to use this beautiful brain our All-Knowing Lord gave us.