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Why you shouldn’t marry career woman

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candid View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 August 2006 at 4:04am
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Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2006 at 5:40am

so what is the woman suppose to do, stay home all day? take the occassional stroll or shopping trip or a yarn with her girlfriends perhaps?

I read the article, well written thou. I don't discredit that some (not all) are perhaps like this.

Can we have a thread which reads: "why you shouldn't marry a career man?" in the women's corner perhaps  You know how many women don't get to see their lawyer/doctor/army/navy husbands

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2006 at 9:49am

Originally posted by candid candid wrote:

http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/aug/24forbes1.htm

Bismillah,

This article has so many flaws in its lack of reasoned approach to family life.  They are just too numerous for me to take the time to point each one out.

Salaamu Alaykum

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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candid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote candid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2006 at 11:57pm
Originally posted by Angel Angel wrote:

so what is the woman suppose to do, stay home all day? take the occassional stroll or shopping trip or a yarn with her girlfriends perhaps?

I read the article, well written thou. I don't discredit that some (not all) are perhaps like this.

Can we have a thread which reads: "why you shouldn't marry a career man?" in the women's corner perhaps  You know how many women don't get to see their lawyer/doctor/army/navy husbands

 

Yep, I agree. Career woman shouldn't marry "career man" (assuming rest of the women will prefer to marry career man). Atleast, that will ensure fair distribution of jobs among families, as each family will have only one earning member. And the other person will look after home (again assuming that career women will need someone to look after home).



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2006 at 9:23am

A few questions:

What does it mean by career woman?

Does it mean a woman who is working her profession? Or a woman who works 80 hours every two weeks? It says in the following:

To be clear, we're not talking about a high-school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.

So if you're highly educated and work more than 35 hours a wekk and generate over $30k a year you are in this category of a career woman?

I also made the note that Forbes.com tend to focus most on "wealthy" and/ "rich" people or studies/articles involving well off individuals I mean look at the following slide shows it provides as part of its evidence:

If you asked me I think these tools for evidence are unrealistic seeing how 1% of the U.S population are considered billionares or "wealthy." Also I asked what evidence does this article show (besides naming social scientist and their study) as proof that Middle-Class Women suffer from marriage failures as well as men? What about medical professional with degrees in medicine? What does it show for them? Even if we were to judge based on class I'd like to know the most likely class that would divorce in marriage. Also it can depend on what profession you choose.

If you're a cop and the mother is a homemaker then I can see if there would be tension. Or if both parents were cop I'd see that there wouldn't be AS much tension. So the article has briefly touched upon some of these issues but it doesn't provide enough info (as well as stats) to prove its argument. The only standout argument this goes on is:

The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."

This really isn't a concrete argument because yo can say the same for a stay at home mother.....Ever heard of "Desperate Housewives?"



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siham al haq View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote siham al  haq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 September 2006 at 1:20am

Salamu alekum

thanks for this good topic....but i disagree with u

There is nothing in Islam instructing women not to work.This is beneficial for the country's economy & family, working women support alot .

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candid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote candid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 September 2006 at 11:40pm
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If you asked me I think these tools for evidence are unrealistic seeing how 1% of the U.S population are considered billionares or "wealthy." Also I asked what evidence does this article show (besides naming social scientist and their study) as proof that Middle-Class Women suffer from marriage failures as well as men? What about medical professional with degrees in medicine? What does it show for them? Even if we were to judge based on class I'd like to know the most likely class that would divorce in marriage. Also it can depend on what profession you choose.

According to the article:-

In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect.

 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote almostthere Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 December 2006 at 8:49pm

Why you shouldn't marry career women - here's the career women's perspective:

I have a so called higher degree and make more than 100 K a year working 40 hours a week. I have been married for 4 years now, and most of our marital life has been tainted by my being a "career woman", because my husband is not, and he keeps finding something he can rub under my nose, a fault here, a flaw there, he is most imaginative coming up with some flaws I supposedly have. He is so scared that I might rub under his nose that I make more money, have a higher degree etc., that he makes my life miserable, just prophylactically. I have never ONCE mentioned the fact that by the way I can do with my money whatever I please, and still he manages to control my every penny that I spend.

So my advise to any man: Think real, real hard before you marry a woman that makes more money than you do or ever will. Unless you have a very very strong self-esteem and love of Allah, it will be very difficult for both of you.

And my advise to women: if you are a career woman, see above. I used to be under the illusion that education and money doesn't matter, only a pure, believing heart does. but it doesn't work this way unless BOTH think, feel and live like this.

This is not just a problem in our typical islamic, eastern society, there's a book out there by Ginny Graves "Bringing home the bacon. Making marriage work when she is making more money". 

Salaam

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