Did he betray me?

Well, thankyou for putting me straight.

 

 

Lots of women all over the world work, really in essence TWO jobs, in and out of the home. They financially have no choice. Either you are poor OR the place you reside in is tow expensive to live in without two incomes.

 

Yes there are some women who COULD stay home and work only at home and choose not to.

 

Some well to do women in Pakistan do sit around and drink tea.. so to speak, but really only the well to do. THat is only a small percentage of women there. Most women work, they work hard keeping the home cleanm and neat, or if they are villagers, collecting wood, water, feeding livestock etc.

 

I know a guy in US, whose wife spends all her time and work, he works also and does all the cooking and cleaning as well as picking up kids etc. She has made a choice to do the work she does.

 

So we can pull out all types of examples....

 

And ofcourse like I said . . . there is absolutley NOTHING wrong with women earning/working . . .as long as they are doing it out of free will. There is also islamically nothing wrong with the woman being the breadwinner AS LONG AS she is doing it out of her own free will or has an understanding with the hubby. . . For women who are forced to work because thier husbands expect them to or are lazy lugs. . . All I can say is may Allah reward them (these wives). . . and He will surely not let thier actions go unrewarded (and He will also give the lazy-husbs wht they deserve)

 

I know that Islamic concepts do not always work IF they are not APPLIED. Which is why Allah tells the muslims to marry believing, pious partners. If women marry good muslims. . . they wont hav such probs (yes, I am aware good muslims r hard to find. . . Im just saying)

 

And unfortunatley nothing can be done about the not-working Husbands in a non-islamic state . . . but that does not mean that the problem lies with Islam . . .Islam is giving us excellent laws, but obviousley it needs to be implemented to work.

 

The Muslim States NEED to enforce these laws. . . and some are already doing so. If Im not mistaken, UAE financialy maintains families where the husband cannot work, so women can choose NOT to work. This law just needs to be applied more, thats all.

 

To say that the lovely concept doesnt work practically . . .it does. But you need to implement that law. . .like some countries already do. Just 'cz nobody is enforcing the law doesnt make it impractical.  By saying that, one is suggesting that there is something impractical about the law itself . . .which there is not.

 

One should try and be careful they are not marrying a man who is just after a greencard, visa or the money. Though ofcourse, many women wouldnt marry such a man if they knew about him beforehand. . . still many do . . bcz they believe that being married to a no-good is still better than remaining unmarried. . (and no one can judge them). And it again stresses the foolishness of marrying a guy one has met recently, out of "love". The "love" of the woman may actually be "greed" for the man. This is especially a warning to our foreign sisters. Make sure you know your husband's intentions are honourable and he intends on maintaining you.

 

This can EASILY be ensured through a pre-nup contract . . .or simply, the NIKAH contract (You can put in any reasonable conditions you want, including restrictingv your husband to one marriage, and the husband has to agree to them, or negotiate with u before Nikah) . . .If the potential husband is reluctant to sign something . . . I hear warning bells. I am not at ALL saying that ALL men are like that. . .and one needs to wary of EVERYONE. Just men you cannot find anyone to vouch for, and do not know or have met recently before he proposed. And you dont have to worry about the validity of your nikah contract in the eyes of your foriegn law. Because a contract is a contract, and once signed NEEDS to be fulfilled. Simple legal principle.

 

(Btw, to those who may be thinking about the part of restricting a muslim man to one marriage in the nikah contract . . .if a muslimah feels she cannot share a husband, she can put forward her reservation b4 the nikah, and include it in the contract. Nothing wrong abt it islamically.  The woman can put in as many securing clauses in there as she wants. And by agreeing to marry her/signing the husband is bound to honour his contract. I'll try find a refernce for this later, however this view is shared by Dr. Zakir Naik, and his views are always according to Sahih Hadith, Sunnah and Qur'an)