Questions About Marriage

I come from an abusive father and a child mother.  I was also abused physically, sexually and emotionally by my former stepfather, and emotionally abused by my current stepfather.  I know what abuse does to a woman's or a child's self esteem.  I urge you to get out of this relationship before he kills  you or your children.  It sounds to me like he is at fault.  If you and your children have done everything possible Islamically to be good wife and children, then it is of no fault of your own.  Please leave this relationship before someting worse happens.  Why are your parents not speaking to you?  They should be supportive of you.  Also since you have had 2 marriages and 2 kids, that's no reason for you to be rejected for marriage.  Any decent Muslim man will want to marry someone no matter what her past is like.  This man is either Muslim in name only, or he just has too many problems/issues that needs to be resolved. My husband is very jealous and protective of me, yes, but it is for my own protection and safety, even though he can be controlling of what I do.  He only controls me because he wants me safe and doesn't want anything to happen to me.  Sister, don't put up with a man who beats you and your children.  Get out before it's too late.  You never know if you'll wake up tomorrow or your kids will wake up tomorrow.

Dear sister,

I reverted to Islam 4 years ago and married a Muslim man quickly after.  I had 2 kids from a previous marriage.  At first he was sweet and kind.  He cared for me and my children. He had a temper; however, he would only yell.  The past two years he has not only been yelling, he has begun swearing at me and my children and calling us names.  He is overly strict with the kids and me.  He never allows us to make a mistake and if we do we are punished.  He will yell and hit.  Whenever we are doing exactly what he wants, he is a very good man.  I know he will never change to stop acting like this.  I don't know what to do.  I am not happy; but I do not want to put my children through another divorce nor do I want to be alone.  I know if I get another divorce, I know I will never be able to get married again.  No man will want a woman with 2 teenagers that has been divorced twice and can't have any more kids.  I also don't think I can live in another abusive relationship.  I stayed with my first husband until his abuse became unbearable and only left because my father made me. Now I don't even have a relationship with my parents. After I remarried, my husband didn't like my parents, the only family I have left is a sister.  Are all marriages like this?  Does every man control and abuse his wife and kids?  Sometimes I just don't see the point in all this.  No matter what I feel alone. Help. I am tired.