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Fascinating Womanhood |
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Chrysalis 
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Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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 Topic: Fascinating WomanhoodPosted: 14 July 2008 at 2:45am |
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 No offence Israfil !  Edited by Chrysalis - 14 July 2008 at 2:46am |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Israfil
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Posted: 14 July 2008 at 12:04am |
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Well, there are men who psychologically share effects of birth with their spouses such as (morning sickness etc). Mentally not physically I will share in the responsibility of going through the pregnancy because I want to not because its a "male chore." i think its important that to understood motherhood the father need to be there with his wife every step of the way to ensure the path to life for the child to be is righteous and not hindered. So, to answer your question yes.
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Shasta'sAunt
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Posted: 13 July 2008 at 11:43pm |
Are you gonna be pregnant for 50% of the time?
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�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt |
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Israfil
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Posted: 13 July 2008 at 9:22pm |
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She needs to help yes just like I help. I believe in 50-50 responsibility I don't believe a man "takes care of his wife" I don't believe in the patriarchal structures of marriage as practiced in many muslim countries. I believe in a woman's independence not only at home but in the working world. I will be just as helpful around the house and at work as she is. I will not allow the load to shift one way or the other. I strictly believe in 50-50 share the load mentality. |
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Chrysalis
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Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:25am |
So having to earn/work and help with the finances of the house is your requirement for a future wife?
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Israfil
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Posted: 12 July 2008 at 8:54pm |
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Nausheen I'm quite aware of the neurological functions between males and females. However, one cannot deny historically that many cultures including Muslim civilization ruled under the culture of patriarchy. The prophet was not an ignorant man I'm sure he was well aware of the traditions and the culture. He couldn't possibly change everything outside the divine mandate, therefore he worked within it. This sounds apologetic to the perpetuation of patriarchy in Bedouin-Arab societies then but that is the only reason I have. With that said, one cannot help but wonder why this idea, this women staying home men work is defensible. I know it's in the Qur'an but if we look outside in the big picture you Nausheen would realize that a lot of this stems from the rule of patriarchy.
Many researcher shave found that even full-time mothers are doing more work than men. This has nothing to do with women doing full-time housework, this has to do with the entire spectrum of the family makeup. Multi-tasking is a good thing but it gives a woman no credit if there is inequality in the home. A stay-at-home mother in western society is unrealistic right now. as far as the societies of the "olden days" you mentioned, in those times that family structure worked because women had less rights as men at those times-even in the times of Muhammad women still did not have the same opportunities as women of today even in Muslim countries.
Women have more opportunities to have careers, have a good life and start a family on their own terms. women shouldn't be compelled neither by religionist nor conservatives to stay at home. I believe both men and women need to function as a unit and plan. But again I can only repeat myself and say that whole woman stay home man work thing especially in the U.S. is a no-go for me. She needs to be educated (both street wise and academically), ambitious, goal-oriented, insightful, caring, loving, faithful, mature, sensitive etc. not too many women have these qualities. This is why i'm sure i'll stay single for a loooooooong time.
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Chrysalis
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Posted: 08 July 2008 at 1:52am |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Nausheen
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 8:28pm |
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Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem, Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim,
Israfil, I can talk on the phone, prepare dinner and change a diaper all at the same time. And won't feel a bit of stress. Replace me with my husband in the same scenario and he will switch the stove off, tell the person on the other end of the phone he will call back in a few minutes, then change the diaper - and that is normal. If you know men who can easily multi-task I don't have a debate there, but it is scientifically proved that men and women use different brain centers to execute same jobs. Also the connection between the left and right brain of a woman is quicker than that of a man. (Thus women are far better than men in multitasking)
Since there is so much difference in the "functioning of the brain" of men and women, they have different temperaments and apptitudes towards same jobs.
Having said that .... A woman can manuver a satellite, and a man can bake a cake. And am sure it wont take a rocket scientist to figure that. However for the success of any project we select people according to their apptitude. Societies in olden days recognised women as better in maitaining a household. - They just had a better apptitude (altho, certainly today's woman is no good), and am sure if a boy is trained to hang clothes neatly on a dryline even he can do that. But olden societies held the philosophy that a boy can do better on other jobs if he was trained there, eg, mowing a lawn, building a bookshelf in the living room, fixing a leaking faucet etc. However there is no debate about the intelligence of a human brain. Given the right training any one can acquire any skill.
Today if you think switching roles is no big deal, I wont argue. However I do argue that household is a "full time job" and in the today's western society NOONE, neither the man or the woman is willing to devote full-time. People have the illusion of being able to manage, but in reality they are making a mess of things there ...
Edited by Nausheen - 07 July 2008 at 8:33pm |
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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