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Husband Issues
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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    Posted: 21 October 2009 at 12:34pm
Salams 123.To be a good Muslim Husban to me is to lead by example and we have the examples of the best of people at arms reach,the husban teaches the wife(in some cases)and the wife teaches the children.I know a sister who converted after marrying her husban and all she wanted is for them to fear Allah together and practise the deen,He started doing otherwise and she left him,Im not saying this is what you should do but if you know that he is doing unislamic things you have a right to point him in the right direction(InshAllah)Keep him on his deen as we say.
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Saladin View Drop Down
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Points: 575 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saladin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 October 2009 at 11:34am
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

"IMO its even worse than conventional adultery."
 
What would unconventional adultery be?  You do know there is capital punishment for adultery given the right set of circumstances, and that being the case, is porn really worse? Certainly a case could be made that the porn industry would fall under 'creating fitna in the land' thus making it also a very serious punishable offense, but the guy sitting in front of his computer in privacy at 1:00am when is thinks nobody is watching him can't be in the same category as adulterers and industry pornographers.
 
Conventional adultery - what I meant was private affairs. Porn's publicized affair and its breeding sickos! You know, professional porn's passe and amateur porn's in vogue. And if in professional porn nothing much is taboo, in amateur porn nothing's taboo! And if professional pornstars doing it for money is bad enough, what to say about amateurs doing it for free and many of them unwilling participants, many even unaware they're in it. Worse, its coming out even from the most conservative societies. So that guy sitting in front of his computer in privacy at 1:00am, may probably be one of those numerous and growing number of amateur porn contributing sickos or one of those sick sickos who's degenerated so much even his relatives aint safe from him and low odds he's one of those getting none and onto it to get off and go to sleep.
 
'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 12:25pm
Ameen
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Full of Hopes View Drop Down
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 Asslamu Allaikum

 Sister Salam, I pray to Allah that you are fine and happy. We love you for the sake of Allah and wish you the happiness. Please forgive it if anyone said anything not kind here. WE are all human beings. And believe me we just wanted to help you.
 
 Hope you are happy. Smile. Smile
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 7:54am
"IMO its even worse than conventional adultery."
 
What would unconventional adultery be?  You do know there is capital punishment for adultery given the right set of circumstances, and that being the case, is porn really worse? Certainly a case could be made that the porn industry would fall under 'creating fitna in the land' thus making it also a very serious punishable offense, but the guy sitting in front of his computer in privacy at 1:00am when is thinks nobody is watching him can't be in the same category as adulterers and industry pornographers.
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Saladin View Drop Down
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Points: 575 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saladin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 October 2009 at 5:59am
If the husband's watching porn and reasons that its to make the wife mad, thats some real disrespect and disregard he's showing. I mean, even the least decent husband would've come up with some st**id explanation to play innocence, not blame it on the wife! If a wife did something similar, in some places even a lowlife degenerate husband will be so dishonored, the wife's a goner! And believe me, porn's a fitna of dajjalian proportions! IMO its even worse than conventional adultery.
 
The husband here has got to change if the marriage's to work cuz right now he seems to be a hot potato!
 
 
'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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martha View Drop Down
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Points: 1140 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote martha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 September 2009 at 1:57pm
Originally posted by Shasta'sAunt Shasta'sAunt wrote:

Salaams Sisters
It is not unIslamic to demand what Allah has said is yours. What is umIslamic is to HAVE TO DEMAND it in the first place. A woman is not being less of a Muslim for wanting to be treated the way that Allah stated women should be treated, a man is being less of a Muslim for refusing to do so.
 
Shasta'sAunt...what an excellent way of putting it. Clear and to the point. I hope all brothers and sisters that read it get the message loud and clear. I certainly wish I could have put it this way when I was still married instead of my husband managing to get the last word and throw everything back in my face. As muslim wives I think we all try to please our husbands by doing the feminine things. ie look nice, try in all ways to make them smile etc etc. Most of us don;t want upsets and try to do as much as we can to prevent it. BUt often wives experience the same as Salaam123. I don't know why that should be. Lack of Islamic understanding, cultural upbringing(it can be hard to learn something different) or maybe men need to try to understand women more? I really don;t know the answer.
I hope Salaam123 tries to remain positive, but also sort out her problems.
Eid Mubarak to youSmile
some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
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Shasta'sAunt View Drop Down
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Salaams Sisters:
 
We have mutual rights over men. This is not my opinion, this is the Word of Allah. Until we Muslim women start to see ourselves as equally deserving of the rights that Allah gave us then we have only ourselves to blame for being treated badly.
 
It is not unIslamic to demand what Allah has said is yours. What is umIslamic is to HAVE TO DEMAND it in the first place. A woman is not being less of a Muslim for wanting to be treated the way that Allah stated women should be treated, a man is being less of a Muslim for refusing to do so.


Edited by Shasta'sAunt - 19 September 2009 at 10:49am
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt
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