MARRIAGE

Salam Brother Faisal,
You have written the dua - Ya badi ul ajaibi. bil khairi ya badiu.But I have found in 2 books that the dua is Ya badial not Ya badiul. Can you please clarify me that is it Ya badial or Ya badiul?
And please keep me in your prayer.
Thank You
Fariha

   Its me again.I talked to him in detail a few days ago and i told him that his behaviour towards me was a bit strange to this he said nothing.He called me yesterday and said to me that this is v difficult for me to say but i feel we are not getting close to each other with time but are getting furthur from each other time.To this he also said that this reminded him of his eks as they too had problem like we are having.I said that i felt the same.Then we had a long discussion.To this i told him whatever i thought and then i talked to him about his saying to me that he was gay.To this he never said firmly that he was not but said that he was joking once.After that i said anyway even if that is not the reason i dont feel that we get any close and you dont anyone let get close to you.As we talked about 3 hrs.It was a long discussion.During this entire conversation he seemed v hurt.But when we were discussing being close emotionally he said again that ''im not even that close to my friend x''and it was the same friend whom he had mentioned earlier.I said to him yesterday that we should talk for a few weeks and see how the outcome will be.To this he said i dont think it will work.Anyway we talked today and this time he himself said that he did not want to continue as he did not want to live with someone whom he did not feel close to.As he had experienced this 4 years with his eks wife.And this time he as well said that ''maybe being happy is the most important thing in life and children are secondary to it''I could not disagree alot with him.All i said was that i knew he was a nice person and to this he said that he hated when someone said this.As his ekswife said exaclty the same but never loved him.We talked again for about 2 hrs today and we discussed everything and if there was a way out of this problem.To this he said that he found none.I said i was willing to ask his eks wife what the problem was and maybe we could discuss it.To this he said no way if you dont trust me then there is no need.And when our conversation ended he again brought up himself the name of his same friend and said that ''what i said about x was just a joke''
   I dont know what is right or wrong as i felt he was very upset and genuinely hurt.Maybe he is a person who is not able to get attached to others or maybe he is gay.As he himself said this.Anyway now it is over.
   And now i have to deal with a thousand qs from everyone around me that what sort of a girl cannot compromise with anyone.
But i feel i really dont care if i ever get married as if it is not meant to be then i should not fight with my destiny.I should accept it and be happy with what i have.Though i will not say no to anyone who would want to marry me.

Salams Sister,
You have to decide what is best for you. But please be careful. I am not convinced you would be right to contact his ex-wife. I do not think to start with she would want to discuss this matter with you. BUt you have to act on how you feel, so I am just giving you my opinion.

You have already experienced difficulties with this man BEFORE marriage. It is not a good way to start a marriage. I am wondering, are your family pressing you to marry him? Or is it because you think you can change him?
Or is he putting pressure on you?

Only you can judge your circumstances. BUt let us know how things go.

Asslam o alaikum its me again.I know what i wrote was in extreme tension and was wrong.Sorry for that.
   What im thinking nowadays is that i will ring his eks wife and also discuss again all this in detail with him.What im thinking is that if he is not engaged in any sort of practical wrong thing then im going to marry him.As anyway mostly husbands are not nice in one or the other way and he atleast is a nice person.But if i find he is practicing gay then i will leave him.I seriously doubt he is practicing as he inspite of living in european country fasts regularly and i have always heard him talk like a really religious person.