PLEASE HELP!!

Bismillah,

J.R., I  think what you said earlier about being cautious and not being with him until he proves he has changed has merit and seems workable for your situation.  As long as you feel he will not harm you physically.  However, he is harming you emotionally and Islamically.  You are important; don't forget!

Most likely he is not going to change and doesn't know how if he wanted to.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I know in my heart you are all right. Please keep praying for my strength
and clarity of mind. I have about ten thousand voices in my head. Peace
to you all.

J.R.

My dear dear sister. It is with a heavy heart i read this thread.
But here are the facts spelled out for you.

Our brother is a CHEATING, LYING, MANIPULATIVE, ROTTEN TO THE BONE, ***** IDIOT! and you need to leave him imediately.

If you have not consumated marriage yet (had sex) you can just walk up and leave him. If you have however there is a 4 months waiting period where you should keep some contact, and preferebly sort the situation out. The only problem in this regard is that in this case he has broken your trust, several times. What he does is not different from men who beat their wifes and afterwards appologise and feel really bad. He braks your trust, tell you, breaks it again, tell you about it. Does that make him honest? Hell no. that makes him an inconciderate asshole, and is trying to snake his way back in now that his favorite bird is gone. Look sweetheart...you are not number one in his life now, and thus you never will be. If you can accept that, its you choice, but i honestly think you are worth so much more than that, becasue you are my sister, and i love you.

Allah tests us all, but putting up with inconciderate assholes is a test you dont have to take for ANY reason or ANY person.

As for the whole, when to people of the same sex are in a room shaytaan blahblahblah... no, not at all, its nonsense. He had a weak moral character (lack of faith and trust in Allah?) and it manifested itself again and again.

I will pray for you too.

Peace
Noah


Edited by Administrator

Suleyman,

You are a wonderful man to take care of your family like you are.  I know God will bless you for your sacrifices.  I was unaware of your language difficulties and I'll be more careful when I read your posts.  As a linguist I understand getting a conversation all mixed up.  To make things funny, there is a word in Chech (or maybe its Slovakian) that means Salt or Salt Shaker, in Polish, the word means lady of not so clean morals.  An old man back home who emigrated here from Chechoslovakia was having dinner with some Polish relatives of mine.  The languages were close enough that they almost could understand each other.  Until he asked for some salt.  My relative thought he was asking him to pass over his wife.    Needless to say, the poor guy got punched and didn't even know why until someone sorted it all out much later.  True Story.  You're a good man Suleyman.

And J.R., drop me an email to that address I sent you.  There are quiet a few college programs for the visually impaired.  I had a college dormmate who was being sponsered by one, they paid for a special monitor and software for her computer, so she could read her textbooks on the screen of her computer.  I'll see if I can find her email and findout who she went through.

Angie

Edited by Angela