IslamiCity.org Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Culture & Community > Family Matter
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - My parents, may Allah be pleased on them  What is Islam What is Islam  Donate Donate
  FAQ FAQ  Quran Search Quran Search  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

My parents, may Allah be pleased on them
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
Author
Message Reverse Sort Order
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
fais View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 24 August 2009
Location: Oman
Status: Offline
Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: My parents, may Allah be pleased on them
    Posted: 08 December 2009 at 8:51pm
salam,
 
good the problem is solved,alhumdulillah,it reminded me how i use to defy my father when he use to say no for something.
you know sister these restrictions sometimes are so memorable,when your parents are not arround you really miss it.
i give you one example in my life:
one day i was in the club playing snooker and there was salah time but as the game was not over i missed the jamaat,my father came after salah and found i dint go for prayers,in front of more than ten people he shouted and insulted me and asked the marker not to let me play any more next time.
next time when i went the other members started looking me with respect and gave to play before them,it was such good feeling.so i take these as rehma from allah.
 
hope this will help other members to remeber their parents and cerish the good times spent with them.
 
regards


Edited by fais - 08 December 2009 at 8:58pm
Back to Top
Full of Hopes View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female
Joined: 06 August 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 855 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Full of Hopes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2009 at 8:22am
Originally posted by fais fais wrote:

Salam sister FOH,
 
This is the ageold story of every youth,parents dont agree and you wanna do the same thing what they are against.this is called generation gap,but sister we should never forget we are muslims we judge it from the islamic point of view,which is islamic accept it and which is not islamic try to explain them if not leave them and dont argue,
 
example if they dont want you to eat french fries this is correct cause it is junk food which effects your health this is their islamic right to stop you.
 
There are many reasons parents are strict and choosy about their daughters,some parents dont want their daughters to be fat or out of fasion so that they cab get good good marraige proposals from the society,some thinks that if they continue any bad habit it will effect their married life and like men,woman cannot stay alone and be safe so what will happen to their daughter after them,some parents want her to choose good friends so that her name is not spoilt in the society,
 
boys are fortunite in this case they dont have so many restrictions but sister think in a broader sence,if you accept those boundries set by allah you will be more rewarded then boys,allah is the most just.
 
this post is not complete i will comment more later
 
regards
 
 Thank you so much brother Fais, the problem is solved and I kept the post just for others to get the benefit if they face a similar confusion, but for me Alhamdulaillah, I am fine. I do not have any problem now.Smile
 
 
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
Back to Top
fais View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 24 August 2009
Location: Oman
Status: Offline
Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2009 at 6:05am
Salam sister FOH,
 
This is the ageold story of every youth,parents dont agree and you wanna do the same thing what they are against.this is called generation gap,but sister we should never forget we are muslims we judge it from the islamic point of view,which is islamic accept it and which is not islamic try to explain them if not leave them and dont argue,
 
example if they dont want you to eat french fries this is correct cause it is junk food which effects your health this is their islamic right to stop you.
 
There are many reasons parents are strict and choosy about their daughters,some parents dont want their daughters to be fat or out of fasion so that they cab get good good marraige proposals from the society,some thinks that if they continue any bad habit it will effect their married life and like men,woman cannot stay alone and be safe so what will happen to their daughter after them,some parents want her to choose good friends so that her name is not spoilt in the society,
 
boys are fortunite in this case they dont have so many restrictions but sister think in a broader sence,if you accept those boundries set by allah you will be more rewarded then boys,allah is the most just.
 
this post is not complete i will comment more later
 
regards
 
 
 
 


Edited by fais - 08 December 2009 at 6:39am
Back to Top
Full of Hopes View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female
Joined: 06 August 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 855 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Full of Hopes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2009 at 9:07am
Originally posted by seekshidayath seekshidayath wrote:

As Salamu Alaikum

Sis FOH, you have been advised very well by members and you too are wise enough to handle situations very well. I would like to just remind you that this area is very sensitive in our lives. We need to be very careful. I understand it gets tough sometimes, but don't forget its one of the toughest trials, wherein we are not to even sigh at them. So "patience, patience and only patience" will be the solution for betterment in dunya as well as aakhirah.

You must have heard this hadith many times that," Obedience is only with regard to what is good and proper

When their commands contradict shariah, then we may politely act against it, otherwise just be with patience. They don't want you to have french fries, don't have it. They don't want you to meet certain freinds, even though they are good, okay don't meet them. Yes, its tough but anything for the sake of obeying commands of Allah swt. What i do is when they are in good mood, i speak of that freind they want me to stay connected. I talk of their good character, or convey their salam to my parents, This way insha Allah, one say they shall themselves, ask of that friend and shall have no problem if we stay connected to them.


 May Allah bless you for every word you typed here, sister Seekshidayath. We are human beings and still need to remind each other of what please Allah. That is right. The more we suffer is the more we are rewarded.
 But, sometimes, you feel you are weak and the shatian can tick you easily.
 I posted this when I was upset and shitan made me fee like I am a prisoner. But then Allah helped and then with those advises, I became stronger and tried to accept it and treat them well. Maybe, I should sneak with the friends I know are good but they do not like. But I am brought up not to hide anything from them.. but just until the time to make them sure my friends are not bad. We have to be patient.Big%20smile
  And we need support from Allah to be patient: "Our Lord! pour out on us patience and constancy, and take our souls unto thee as Muslims (who bow to thy will)!" 7.126 



Edited by Full of Hopes - 03 December 2009 at 9:09am
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
Back to Top
seekshidayath View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female Islam
Joined: 26 March 2006
Location: India
Status: Offline
Points: 3357 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote seekshidayath Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2009 at 8:43am
As Salamu Alaikum

Sis FOH, you have been advised very well by members and you too are wise enough to handle situations very well. I would like to just remind you that this area is very sensitive in our lives. We need to be very careful. I understand it gets tough sometimes, but don't forget its one of the toughest trials, wherein we are not to even sigh at them. So "patience, patience and only patience" will be the solution for betterment in dunya as well as aakhirah.

You must have heard this hadith many times that," Obedience is only with regard to what is good and proper

When their commands contradict shariah, then we may politely act against it, otherwise just be with patience. They don't want you to have french fries, don't have it. They don't want you to meet certain freinds, even though they are good, okay don't meet them. Yes, its tough but anything for the sake of obeying commands of Allah swt. What i do is when they are in good mood, i speak of that freind they want me to stay connected. I talk of their good character, or convey their salam to my parents, This way insha Allah, one say they shall themselves, ask of that friend and shall have no problem if we stay connected to them.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
Back to Top
Full of Hopes View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female
Joined: 06 August 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 855 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Full of Hopes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2009 at 8:26am

 Asslamu Alaikum

 Nice to see you sister Hayfa, really may Allah bless you for your reply. I know the culture plays a big role, but I know many here from my culture whose parents have nothing to do with their lives. It is amazing but TRUE. I know who live alone while they have families.
 WE just ask Allah to help us please Him.


Edited by Full of Hopes - 03 December 2009 at 8:27am
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
Back to Top
Hayfa View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female
Joined: 07 June 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 December 2009 at 11:29am
Asalaam Alaikum,

It is vastly different here then there.. her in the US, most of us are raised to be independent to be able to take care and provide for ourselves.  My parents helped us with decisions but for the most part they were ours to make. Unless it was abhorrent- which they weren't -- we made them. And it helped to teach about myself to sometimes trip and fall and how to pick up and keep going.

I have seen adults in other cultures not be able to make any decision for themselves.. no trust in their own abilities or judgements.  Its like making friends.. sometimes you have to 'get burned' to know you CAN get burned. Its like you can make mistakes while you are 'safe.' Does that make sense.

If my parents had died when I was 16, 17 and 18 I would have been fully capable of surviving if need be. Alhumdillah I did not face this. Or if I had needed to care for them.. I had the abilities- to work, to deal with situations, to be able to THINK. That is a great blessing we were given.

In did not mean t hat we did not consult our parents or not listen to their advice.. but we can and are able to care for ourselves.

It is a very different cultural paradigm. I think it is why I have a hard time relating as that level of control is so different.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
Back to Top
Full of Hopes View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Female
Joined: 06 August 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 855 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Full of Hopes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 December 2009 at 11:12am

 May Allah bless you brother Abu Aiysha, you are of those good people who focus on the blessings. I am so happy for having those parents but I jut say,, they should make me depend on myself and choose the way of life I want. Ok  with marriage issue, I said that they might know the best for me.. but for the jobs,, for the friends,, for the clothes,, for the programs I watch.. for many others things in my life.. they want to control my whole life. Just try to close your eyes and imgine your life in this way!!

 And I feel bad cause I sometimes reject this and even so bad that I might fight them and then I feel I am so bad and blame myself so hard.

   I love them and thank Allah for them but it is a big struggle... I want to please them and at the same time be myself.

  Thank you for those advices, they make me thank Allah more and see His blesings on me.
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.03
Copyright ©2001-2019 Web Wiz Ltd.