Household payments

Thank you all for your interest and your insightful and helpful comments. To be clear, my husband agrees that he should pay money each month, and has even agreed what that amount should be. Over the past four years however, since we made the agreement (at my insistence because he was paying nothing since 2004, despite me asking for support and him promising it) he has paid me that agreed monthly sum just 10 times. He has occasionally bought our son expensive but totally unnecessary gifts, and then when I have asked for the agreed monthly amount he points to the gifts and says 'there is the money'.
So to say that he needed to plan in advance for the Hajj and therefore could not pay the money is incorrect. His family and the monthly support we need is not a surprise for him. In fact I just realised that he must have lied to me for a long time if he planned for the Hajj in advance! Good point Abuayisha.

Abu Loren wrote: It seems to me that Ron Webb knows more about Islam than abuayisha.

  Not a chance, but thanks anyway!

And to be fair, abuayisha didn't say you were wrong.  He just wanted some evidence, which is always a good thing. 

Abu Loren does that imply you believe her husband went to hajj with stolen wealth?

abuayisha wrote: Abu Loren wrote: As he has gone to perform Hajj on a lie then his Hajj will not be accepted. Also praying five times a day then as soon you step out of the masjid you commit sins then the prayers will not be accepted either. Statements such as the above require textual evidence.

For what it's worth, on islamqa.info I found a reference to the following hadith:

"Ibn �Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the accepted Hajj, it was said that it is that in which there is no showing off or seeking reputation, and in which there is no obscene speech or evil deeds, and it is done with halaal wealth."
Al-Tamheed lima fi�l-Muwatta� min al-Ma�aani wa�l-Asaaneed, 22/39

It seems to me that if a man takes money that ought to have been used to support his family and uses it for Hajj instead, that would be an evil deed and the money (essentially stolen from his family) would not be "halaal wealth".  But I'll try to leave this discussion to others.