Converted American issue with Pakistan husband

Greetings and thank you all for your replies.
Update on situation is that although everyone from mosque still does not know I have grown daughters, my husband is at a level of acceptance. We recently hosted Thanksgiving dinner and all three of my daughters and parents came. He was sociable to my daughter who he had previous problem with. She and my grandson even spent the night and Eveything went very well.
My daughter is still in bad situation of living with other people. She still associates with people who are not the best morals. I cannot change that but only give her advice.
My daughter has become calmer since that stressful time which makes being around her less confrontational.

I cannot do anything to help her financially since my husband works with the cash flow in home.

I'm sure my husband isn't just with me for the greencard. It's been 10 yrs and he hasn't left me yet even though he makes enough money to leave me a few years ago.

I know my husband may sound like a bad man but he is not. He just chooses who in our local area doesn't get to know facts about my past.

when I first came to this site I was under stress and was fearful for my grandson. Things have a way of balancing out. I can only pray that in time things get righted. I know I will lose some acquaintances at mosque if and when they find out about my children. I will accept it and hope for the best. Inshallah
Thank you again all for your insight and wisdom

ConvPakWife wrote: My daughter is now saying that since I cannot make decisions on my own and watch my grandson then she will move wherever and not inform me and I won't see him again for long time.

Are you able to make monthly financial contributions to your daughter? Even if small amounts, this will ensure that you see her and your grandson, as well as contributing to their well-being.

Edited by abuayisha - 23 May 2015 at 9:12pm

An apology has been offered by my daughter in past but then another argument erases it. Financially she has never paid back from the past the few times we asked for minimal compensation. My mother In law was very kind to grandson when he was here before, and I have tried already with her to convince but she agrees with my husband in this matter. We have some language barriers but in the end she was of a Pakistan culture thinking than Islamic.
My daughter is now saying that since I cannot make decisions on my own and watch my grandson then she will move wherever and not inform me and I won't see him again for long time. I don't know if she would actually do this but just thinking it breaks my heart to not see him for long time.
I will continue to pray for a way to open his heart. In the mean time I find it very hard to not join in conversation with the women from Mosque when they speak of children's experiences or ideas and I must sit quiet and not share my own. My husband doesn't see it as lying but withholding facts.

I agree to keeping peace in home, which is why I have stayed silent for so long, but now my grandson is older and his hardship is more realized.
They live 3hrs away and she having no car has had no way to visit in the past.
I did watch grandson this past December 26-Feb.10 due to such cold temperatures and hardship his mother was dealing with. My husband requested i take him back to his mother since we had company coming the following week and couldn't take him on a tour with us. Otherwise I would of kept him till August.
When i took him back to his mother she and I had argument on the fact of me bringing him back to bad state of living. I made the mistake of relating her harsh words against my husband and our religion back to him. This is think is real reason he won't let me watch grandson again is due to her disrespect and his pride.
Also, I as her mother want to giver her the benefit of trying to find job, home etc. This isn't the first time she has had me watch grandson. Its been many times. She has found a few jobs, but always loses them for whatever reasons and then we start this all over again.
My other children can't help her due to living situations they are in. My sister and parents did take her in for short time. She is without a doubt a hard person to live with. Speaks her mind and misunderstands everything we try and tell her. Always confrontational in the past. I have seen some changes for the good in her, but still not enough for family members to take her in.
Its not for her but for my grandson that I am trying to find a way to make husband understand that wether its this time or another time that we should always be available to a child.

Edited by ConvPakWife - 22 May 2015 at 7:37am