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How should a woman rightfully behave? |
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Jenni 
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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 Topic: How should a woman rightfully behave?Posted: 29 March 2006 at 3:53pm |
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Thank you ladies for your added words. Can we try to focus on how we can be the best in our own situation? Whether we are working women or at home with kids. How we live will be different if we are in Europe, the U.s. or say in India or Saudi Arabia. Being a Muslim at heart is they same, saying your prayers, fasting and being charitable. But You HAVE TO ADAPT to whatever society you live in!!! It may be fesible in Saudi to go to womens only stores and malls. And have a driver so you don't have to ride the bus or walk on the street with men. But hey ladies, most of us aren't there. If I move there I'll put on a Niqab(even though I'm against it) and adapt to the life there the best I can. That is all we can do, and I have to adapt here. I am raising my kids alone with a husband who works ALOT and travels. I take the car to the auto shop, deal with the mechanics, I have to see male doctors sometimes, I have to talk to the delivery people when they come to the door, ect. ect. ect. That is life, I have to do it, so please don't give me useless information!! If you want to tell me to be more kind, charitable, a better neighbor, a more understanding wife, a more patient mother ect. Then that might be advice I need and give me all the hadiths and Quran you can to back it up, as far as I am concerned personality and morality wise is where most Muslims are lacking. Not in knowledge of Ahadiths.
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Mishmish
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Joined: 01 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1694 |
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Posted: 29 March 2006 at 11:10am |
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Assalamu Alaikum Sister Sisters: It is impossible for women to stay locked up for their entire lives and it is impossible for women to avoid all contact with men. That is why we wear hijab in public, to preserve our modesty, and why we are commanded to lower our gaze. If we were never to be around non-mahrem men, why would we have been commanded to lower our gaze? As in the Hadith I listed earlier where the Prophet(PBUH) offered Abu Bakr's daughter a ride upon his camel, she was walking two miles alone with date stones on her head. If this were not allowed, why would the Prophet not have told her it was forbidden? Instead we have these Hadith: 1) Sayyiduna Abu Sa�id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: �Let no woman travel for more than three days unless her husband or a Mahram is with her�. (Sahih Muslim). Clearly there are Hadith that show women were outside the home, alone, and the Prophet(PBUH) did not say this was haraam or forbidden.
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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)
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Hayfa
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Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368 |
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Posted: 29 March 2006 at 10:09am |
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seems to me that, in my humble and small opinion that the Hadiths and Quran are quite vast. That so much his covered. People often take Hadiths out of context by not reciting the specific example. How many times has people explained to non-Moslems the circumstances surrounding a Hadith? The details and specifics are there to guide us. Like people seperate for prayers.. and yet at Hajj people are all there together. Different guidelines for different circumstances. Like say for instance there is a business lunch for work then women cannot go? How does this work? For example.. you should stay out of the way of crowds.. yes. THEN should you go out when there are fewer people.. like the night? Makes no sense. Just try to mind your own business and not act in a provocating way. You are heading out in rush hour down the street.. lots of people.. what to do? You travel by bus and there are men on it, should I walk miles to work? If it crownded there is no way to avoid being in touching distance of men. Or I could a half an hour in the frozen cold for a less crowded bus? Seems the goal is to work to maintain your modesty no matter the circumstances and to limit what you can and are in control of. And pray to Allah for forgiveness. Peace |
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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Jenni
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 29 March 2006 at 7:33am |
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Lowering your gaze is very specific, this is talking about walking on the street and no I don't think it applies to the dining table. When I dine with friends and family in mixed company I feel no wrong is being commited and I know many many Muslims feel the same way.!!! You can not take any Ahadith and apply it to anything you want just to make a point. That is what I am saying.
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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amah
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Female Joined: 18 March 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1334 |
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Posted: 29 March 2006 at 12:52am |
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Subhanallah!!
one small hadith?? so it is unimportant? I am really surprised with you! and what about the other hadiths? what about lowering your gaze? thats from the quran as well. also Prophet(saw) asked men to lower their gaze if they happen to look at a woman! if it is not allowed for women to mix with men on the road, it is allowed for them to mix at the dining table? why did prophet (saw) make a separate door for women in the masjid? anywayz! i have no more to say..........hopefully insha allah i pray we realise the truth in dunya or face it on DOJ.... Jazakallahukhairan! assalaamu alaikum warehmatullahi wabarakatuh! Edited by amah |
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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
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Jenni
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:17pm |
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It really is strange to me that muslims will take one small hadith and try to apply it to everything in life. This hadith about not walking in the middle of the road is talking about one specific thing, you can't apply that to everything, not in my opinion.
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Mishmish
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Joined: 01 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1694 |
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Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:14pm |
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Assalamu Alaikum Sisters: There is a huge difference between not "mixing" and not being able to leave your home except under necessity. Just as there is a difference between being sequestered and being separated.
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It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)
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amah
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Female Joined: 18 March 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1334 |
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Posted: 28 March 2006 at 9:03pm |
Exactly! we have to keep "outside". sister, Isnt that segregation then? women stand behind men in salah coz so that men dont see them, woman walk on the sides of the road so that they are "away" from men. mixing is not allowed my dear. that does not mean there is never any interaction. there is. only thing, we have to follow the guidelines...do you get me dear? anywayz.......please do some research yourself, crosscheck if you please, i am not being impractical, i talk to men when necessary, to the grocerer, salesman, etc.... even to my husbands friends and relatives how much ever i feel is necessary and sufficient..... I know all of you are insha allah eager to follow deen correctly.... Love you all for the sake of allah. Allah knows best, I know only what Allah has taught me, without His guidance I am lost.........wassalaam.... |
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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
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Jenni wrote: