Did he betray me? |
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seekshidayath
Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357 |
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Edited by seekshidayath - 18 June 2008 at 6:28pm |
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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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abuayisha
Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Indeed Brother, I have quoted Dr. Zakir here more than once, and I believe he is a knowledgable man. However, though I find myself agreeing to almost everything, there are certain things I do not agree with . . . one of them being the 'debates' :p though they are interesting, I don't believe they achieve thier purpose (tho his intentions may be noble). (Except perhaps a few 'debates') I accept Yusuf Estes opinion on 'debates' rather than Dr. Naiks.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. And that is all I am trying to say. . . which means that one cannot say that working for women is wrong. If Brother, some sisters do not follow Islamic principles in thier daily lives, thier action is held accountable with Allah alone , and we are no one to label working outside the home as 'wrong' , simply because some sisters are not aware/care about Islamic injunctions.
Brother, let me use this to elaborate another point of mine. (Now this is a personal opinion of Dr. Zakir . . . because Islam does not say that any certain profession is better for women or not)
Can you seriously suggest that a sister can today become a qualified, medical doctor all the while depending on her male-mahrams? I am perfectly aware of the 'recommendation' of male-mahrams accompanying muslim women, and I believe Allah had a maslihat for that, and I am in whole-hearted agreement with it. However, I also believe that is a 'strong reccomendation' rather than a forbiddance. I do not believe that a woman who is unaccompanied by a non-mahram male is sinning, niether is it haraam or forbidden. Islam gives us levels of permissabilty of actions.
This especially meant a lot at a time when travel was unsafe, usually on foot or camels, which could easily be intercepted by burglars or mischief-makers. Travel was long, often for months, and females are given to discomfort at certain times, thus travelling with a male companion makes things easier, especially when it came to dealing with rowdy men, or non-muslims - at that time, women as a general rule were not respected. . . anywhere. Even travelling as a group, women were not safe. Because the absence of a male guardian meant anyone could mistreat the women since they were vulnerable.
Plus the muslim males of the time had more chivalry . . . they thought of thier guardianship as a responsibility. I am afraid the males today look upon it more as a burden, and rather than go through the trouble of accompanying thier women, would rather have them stay at home. I have seen brothers stomp around and refuse to get thier sisters things from the shop down the street. Many a times my friennds could not come to school events, bcz it was the driver's day off and the brother/father did not want to take the trouble to drive thier daughters bcz it would waste thier weekend. . . and simply asked them not to go.
Women have to go to university, can you expect a male guadian accompanying them eversingle day, twice a day? What about AT university, isnt the sister alone at university now? Or should she have a male mahram there too? Most universities are co-ed, since it takes double the resources to make one exclusive for females, and many countries dont offer them, thus she comes into contact with non-mahram males. Sometimes the timings are not fixed, are the men really, practically at the beck and call of thier women, so as to drop everything they are doing and go pick up a sister. What about higher studies? If a sister gets a scholarship in another city or abroad, can you expect the males of the house to accompany them? What about when they are in the professional field now. . . Can you expect the male-mahram to be present during the Dr.Sister's daily rounds? Wht abt night duties? She is coming into contact with non-mahram males during this time as well.
Even if you take the 'islamically' preferred job i.e. Medical Profession. . . a woman cannot become a qualified doctor if she is to rely soley on her mahrams to depend on. Perhaps 1 out of 100 men would be dedicated enough to do that.
In today's day and age, women can safely commute/travel Islamically and securely without the need of a male-mahram. And when there is no hurdle to a woman's security . . . there is no harm. Because that was one of the main reasons/maslihat Allah reccomended a mahram. A car is safer and more secure than any travel item. She is even hidden from prying eyes, and can fulfill even the strictest forms of hijab. She doesnt even have to converse/deal with strange men. At any urgency/emergency . . . one has to dial 911 or anyother number (any mahram in this situation would do the same, call authorities. . .not take out a sword and fight.) She doesnt even have to perform physical labour such as put up tents on rest-stops(like in the olden days) or change the tyres. . .she can simply call ppl for that.
As for conversing with unrelated males. . . Brother that is a neccessaty you cannot escape. Even if a woman is at home 24hrs she has to converse with males at sometime, whether it be the Plumber, Milkman, servant, driver, gardner etc. The only way she can 100% prevent conversations with the opp sex is if all the above positions are filled with women. . . and that again brings us to the subject of the neccessaity of women in the workforce.
From an Islamic point of view, Niether Allah nor His Prophet forbade conversing with the opp-sex. WHICH IS WHY Allah sent doen conversational ettiqeute. Bcz if it had been forbidden, Allah would not have sent down, 'how-to-talk-to-men' instructions. Men and Women are asked to lower thier gaze WHEN a brazen thought comes to the mind. One does not have to avoid eye-contact when there is a completely harmless/stricyly professional conversation is going on. Many scholars agree on that. And some women have a tendency to be very flirtatious or soft-spoken, and male colleagues may mis-interpret the signals. HENCE Allah asks the women to talk in a no-nonsense tone of voice. . .so even the st**idest of men do not mistake thier intentions/signals. And honestly, if a woman does all that, no man will ever look upon her more than a professional colleague.
This I believe Brother, is again a personal preference or opinion. Not many factories are woman-only. And even if they hav mixed employees, you will notice a natural tendencies of muslims to group with thier own gender. I have seen clips of Factories workers on TV (of Pakistan, where nobody forbids the mixing of men/women) yet the women will be naturally seated on one side, and men on the other. . . busy in thier work. In an assembly-line, believe me Brother. . .workers dont have time to scratch thier noses, let alone gaze at each other.
And I repeat, Allah would not have sent down instructions regarding dealing with the opp-sex, had Allah not known about the inevitable neccassity of dealing with the opp-sex.
I believe Brother, this again. . .is more of a personal opinion/cultural reflection. I agree, Islam does not encourage intermingling BECAUSE of natural sexual tendencies. But Islam does not forbid it either. Let us take the example Dr. Zakir gave himself. Even if the medical field was the only profession, Female Doctors cannot avoid intermingling with men.
Islam ONLY has a problem when sexuality comes in between unrelated/nonmahram members of the opp sex.
Not every muslim sister has an able Father or Brother. And even if they do, not every father, brother or husband is willing to take up the extra burden of dealing with another business's issues. . especially when he has his own responsibilities. I believe only a certain minority of men are that God-Fearing and willing to help out. Thus you are excluding a huge chunk of the female population.
My Dad works 9-6. And I have no brothers. Am I to say good-bye to my skills/education/talents and not apply them in the workplace, just because I do not have any Male-Mahrams apart from my Dad? (Btw, I do not work, so wanted to add that I am not defending working muslim women just because I work. It is a matter of principles)
Alhamdulilah. And with all due respect. . . Khadija R.A was already a succesful business woman before she met our beloved Prophet Muhammad. Infact, she gauged his suitability as a husband while he was her unrelated employee. True she had not exactly met our Prophet, and she bascially conducted business-affairs through her trusted male servant Maisra (that the name right?) Thus even her servant was a na-mahram male. And she trusted him with business affairs. She trusted him enough to decide her propsal of marriage to Muhammad based on Maisrah's account of Prophet Muhammad's character. True, that Khadijah never travelled with her trading caravans, but she always hired agents and traders to do that for her, and that meant dealing with males.
Infact one of the reasons I respect Dr. Israr is because he asked the muslims not to fanatically follow or believe in any certain Islamic Scholar . . . but to always get a variety of views on the issue and form an opinion accordingly. Infact he said, don't even take my own words to be set-in-stone, and listen to other scholars, and if you find a better islamic point of view. Follow that. And I believe it takes a lot of humility and self-respect to say all that. Which is why I respect him, and very respectfully disagree on the issue of working outside the home.
Edited by Chrysalis - 19 June 2008 at 3:38am |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Shasta'sAunt
Senior Member Female Joined: 29 March 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1930 |
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Assalamu Alaikum:
I always enjoy when Muslims today point out that women must be always be accompanied by a mahrem, even though this is not the case Islamically, and that women should stay indoors, should not mix with men, etc...
I notice that it is usually men or married women who hold these very strict views. I also wonder where these same Muslims are when it comes to single, divorced, or widowed Sisters who must work for a living, who must go out alone, who must mix with men. I rarely if ever see them coming forward to offer to financially support and pay the Sisters' bills so that they will not have to do any of these things that they consider "wrong". Isn't that what such observant and strict Muslims should do?
I remember after September 11 it was very tense here and there were a number of hate crimes against Muslims. I knew a couple of Sisters who had to work and removed their hijab because because they had been threatened or were afraid. Instead of getting support here in the community they got talked about and told how haraam it was. This by women who were married and did not even venture out for months without their husbands, some not even then out of fear. Their husbands did the shopping, checked the mail, took the kids to school, etc because it was not "safe", yet they were the ones screaming "haraam" the loudest at the Sisters who HAD to go out and so removed their hijab. Not once did anyone offer to pay the other Sisters' bills to keep them safe and covered, or for their husbands to shop for the other Sisters, or run errands for them so they wouldn't be as exposed.
Personally I found it all rather hypocritical. It is easy to tell someone they should or shouldn't do something when you are sitting safe and are not in their situation. And instead of being so judgemental and turning on these women, they could have been truly GOOD Muslims and do as Allah told them to do in The Quran and care for them.
I think this was one of the single most disappointing times for me personally as a Muslim. To watch the judgement and total lack of empathy for women who in the Islamic ideal would not HAVE to work to begin with because all of those passing judgement should have been offering monetary help.
No, I was not married at the time, and yes I wore hijab. I did not take mine off, but more out of stubborness than anything else. However, I was physically assaulted in a grocery store and after that I seriously thought about removing it for a while. Ironically, when I was attacked, even though there were other Muslims in the store, it was non-Muslims who helped me. Another eye-opener.....
I guess my point here is that until the Ummah as a whole and Muslims as individuals are ready to step up and live Islam, then we have no business condemning others because WE are not doing what we are supposed to do either. And I'm not talking about salaat and fasting. I'm talking about taking care of women and orphans and treating each other as equals and truly believing that the best of us are the ones closest to Allah, and no longer refusing to be friends or in-laws with other Muslims because of their race or ethnicity, or just feeding a hungry homeless person instead of looking away, or protecting innocent animals from harm.... or any of the millions of small and not so small things we should be doing every single day but just do not do. Once we start doing all of these things along with our salaat and fasting then perhaps we can advise others on how to be good Muslims. But I suspect by then we would all be so busy actually being good Muslims and good human beings we wouldn't have the time or the energy to harass others.
Edited by Shasta'sAunt - 19 June 2008 at 12:51pm |
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�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt |
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Shasta'sAunt
Senior Member Female Joined: 29 March 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1930 |
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The above Ayat is not about inheritance as an inheritance is given to you, not something you earn AND this Ayat following it addresses inheritance specifically:
4:33 And unto everyone have We appointed heirs to what he may leave behind: parents, and near kinsfolk, and those to whom you have pledged your troth give them, therefore, their share. Behold, God is indeed a witness unto everything.
and the Ayat after that about men spending on women:
4:34 MEN SHALL take full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions...
It is clear that these Ayats concern monetary/material matters and while the Ayat might also mean the deeds which we have earned, it speaks of Allah's bounty bestowed upon us and we all know that Allah allows us to create our own good or bad deeds, so the bounty spoken of must mean something else. As it is written in the context of covetnous and the following Ayats speak of monetary matters I think it can only mean something other than our deeds, that it probably means just what is says:
4:32 And in no wise covet those things in which Allah Hath bestowed His gifts More freely on some of you than on others: To men is allotted what they earn, and to women what they earn: But ask Allah of His bounty. For Allah hath full knowledge of all things.
And I would like to know who made women responsible for the bad thoughts of men? Since all of us are resonsible for our own deeds and actions and men are told to lower their gaze and observe hijab just as much as women, why are women the ones who must stay home sequestered away so that men won't be tempted? Isn't it their responsibility to control themselves? It appears to me that Allah made it clear in The Quran that we are each responsible for ourselves. Women already wear hijab, do not wear perfume or make up do not laugh or flirt or talk with men in any way other than straight forward, AND that still isn't enough? Just how weak are the men today?
I believe this Ayat was directed toward the wives of The Prophet after someone accused Aisha of fitnah:
and the Ayat that follows:
33:35 For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.
MEN and WOMEN... Edited by Shasta'sAunt - 20 June 2008 at 9:58am |
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�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt |
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Shasta'sAunt
Senior Member Female Joined: 29 March 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1930 |
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"but if she has to travel alone beyond the limits set by shariah , is she not going against Islamic rules ? She needs a mahram ."
I posted the hadith that states if a woman has no mahrem for Hajj to go with other women. Islam is not so difficult and Allah did not place the restrictions on women that men try to. Please show me one Ayat in The Quran that states a woman cannot work, travel, think, be intelligent...
There is a Hadith where The Prophet came upon a woman that he knew walking back from the date fields where she had been working. She had several miles to walk so he told her to get on his camel with him, but she said no as her husband would be too upset.
I like this Hadith because it shows that women worked, women were out alone, The Prophet was not afraid to touch her as He offered her a ride behind him, and she turned him down and kept walking, which shows her strength....
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�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt |
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seekshidayath
Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357 |
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As'Salamu Alaikum ,
Sisters, i now, understand this wisom behind the hadith that when a woman sins, even her husband, father , son or brother, whoever in there life , are also dragged into hell. Your posts did flash over the negligence of brothers or husbands towards there families. And also of muslim men towards society. It is equally important that they be educated over this issue. To bring up a peaceful and good society, there is need for co-operation and equal contribution from both sides. Both are equally responsible.
"Please show me one Ayat in The Quran that states a woman cannot work, travel, think, be intelligent..."
Sister, i never said, nor did any member say that woman cannot work, or think or be intelligent. Kindly, clear that misconception. Especially, in my posts i did say that she can come out when it is necessary. I never said , she cannot think or be intelligent. That would not rear the wheels of a man's life.
Yes, regarding travelling alone - here is a point of discussion. Limits set by shariah is 50 KM. Here again let me remind you that the definition of "travel distance" varies. Most of them agree to be 50 KM. If she has to travel beyond that limit them she surely has to travel along a mahram.
Here are few hadiths
It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: �No woman should travel except with a mahram, and no man should enter upon a woman unless there is a mahram with her.� A man said: �O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go out with such and such an army, and my wife wants to go for Hajj.� He said: �Go for Hajj with her.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1763) and Muslim (1341).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: �It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to travel for the distance of one day and one night except with her mahram.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1038) and Muslim (133). According to al-Bukhaari (1139) and Muslim (827), from the hadeeth of Abu Sa�eed: �The distance of two days.�
Sister these were the hadiths that clearly forbids women to travel alone. Can you give me the link wherein hajj is permitted without a mahram. I did not read all the posts. If you have posted it, let me know.
Sister Chrysallis said :
This especially meant a lot at a time when travel was unsafe, usually on foot or camels, which could easily be intercepted by burglars or mischief-makers. Travel was long, often for months, and females are given to discomfort at certain times, thus travelling with a male companion makes things easier, especially when it came to dealing with rowdy men, or non-muslims - at that time, women as a general rule were not respected. . . anywhere.
Sister, hadiths are general rules and are applicable for all muslims and for all times. Even these days we habe burglars and mischeif makers. Infact they are far improvised in there techniques. However the journey may be safer, the happiness of obeying the commands of Islam are far more rewarding. Don't look wisdom behind the hadith, as a muslim lets try to obey.
Shasta's aunt says
guess my point here is that until the Ummah as a whole and Muslims as individuals are ready to step up and live Islam, then we have no business condemning others because WE are not doing what we are supposed to do either. And I'm not talking about salaat and fasting. I'm talking about taking care of women and orphans and treating each other as equals and truly believing that the best of us are the ones closest to Allah, and no longer refusing to be friends or in-laws with other Muslims because of their race or ethnicity, or just feeding a hungry homeless person instead of looking away, or protecting innocent animals from harm.... or any of the millions of small and not so small things we should be doing every single day but just do not do. Once we start doing all of these things along with our salaat and fasting then perhaps we can advise others on how to be good Muslims. But I suspect by then we would all be so busy actually being good Muslims and good human beings we wouldn't have the time or the energy to harass others.
Sister you highlighted a very important issue that needs attention. Certainly, we need to start up with our own selves, at the same time, if the strength of faith permits us we are to educate people around us too. May Allah swt help us to improve in other areas too which badly needs to be corrected. My final words - Muslimahs when out for jobs when necessity arises , follow the Islamic rulings and be mindful of Allah swt always.
May Allah swt guide all of us, esp the brothers in Islam, May they be conscious of there responsibility towards there sisters and towards the society too.Ameen
Edited by seekshidayath - 19 June 2008 at 8:00pm |
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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir Rajeem, Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim,
SeeksHidayath, assalamualaiku, There is a difference of opinion between ulema regarding the permissibility of women in traveling. A hanafi woman cannot travel without mahram, but a shafii woman can if she is in a group. Also if a woman is alone, with no mahram in this world - eg a revert, who has no family member as muslim, she may travel alone. Also some time ago I personally asked a hanafi scholar about the rigidity of the hanafi position, and he responded that acc. to the fatwa of Mufti Taqi Uthmani - who was the grand mufti of Pakistan - women can travel alone for the purpose of job or meeting family, if they are travelling in a group. And the meaning of group is eg an aeroplane journey will take that qualification.
So, I know this hadith which you have quoted, but there is a despensation there. InshAllah when we have despensations, we cannot make an issue with muslims who want to settle on a different position. Khair inshAllah.
I agree with many of your points and thank you for supporting my notions. Jazak Allahu khair.
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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