Love and Religion conflicts=help!

peacelovedarfur wrote: " When it is plain and simple that marriage with a DISBELIEVER, is  n't permitted, then why are you going for it ?" I know what I want to choose but I am still in doubt for I also know what the Islamic doctrine is and being concious of its entire dissagreement it leaves me no peace. But I am not Muslim because I believe Islam is the only way, yes, it is the straighest of paths but Allah(swt) would not be All-Merciful and All-Loving if he ruled the People of the Book out, who are not Unbelievers and fervently worship the one and only Lord of the Universe while taking example from one of the most treasured phrophets of humanity.   JazakiAllahu khayr {may Allah swt reward you with goodness}  sister for replying to my post. Perhaps you did not understand my point of explanation. If a person believes in Allah swt, he shud also obey him. Don't you agree to this ?  Just by saying that i believe in one God is n't enough. The belief in only God, shud also be practised. For that let him look into Qur'an which is n't tampered. It is direct word of God, even for him. You must have explained it to him that Qur'an is not just for muslims but for the whole of humanity. When he reads its, he would insha Allah, feel as if God is addressing him.   You cited the example of Ibrahim AS in your post. That was good. Why does he not follow him ? Ibrahim AS, obeyed Allah swt in all ways. Likewise, why does he not obey Allah swt. In what way is he following Ibrahim AS ?  Ibrahim AS, was a prophet sent towards his people. Like wise Isaac and Ismaeel  AS{his sons} were prophets. Those people were to have belief in them as prophets. Likewise, people of these times {during and after Prophet Muhammad,Peace be upon him, } are to believe in him and obey him  as Prophet of Allah swt, apart from having belief that all those messenger were sent by Allah swt. Final word, we are to obey Allah swt 's command to obey his messenger - Prophet Muhammad {saws}. You must have come across this verse many a times in the holy Qur'an. "Wa'athiul laha wa'athiur  rasool" - Obey Allah  and obey His messenger.   At an other place, Allah swt says , "We sent no Messenger, but to be obeyed   by Allah 's .will."  meaning, obeying the Prophet was ordained for those to whom Allah sends the Prophet. Allah's statement, (by Allah's leave) means, "None shall obey, except by My leave,'' according to Mujahid. This Ayah indicates that the Prophets are only obeyed by whomever Allah directs to obedience.   And as said earlier, at many places in Qur'an ,Allah swt directs us to obey and follow His final messenger and Prophet.   BUt sister, as per Qur'an the final testament, we are to follow and believe in Allah swt and his last messenger. We believe in all the Prophets and messengers of Allah swt sent. But we are to obey Allah swt and His messenger.   Yes, those believers of ahle kitab {christians and jews} if unheard of Prophet Muhammad, but believe in one God, then Allah swt , says that they shall be accepted. You must have explained him that the people of scriptures { christians and Jews are doubly rewarded, if they believe in Islam , they shall be doubly rewarded. I think chapter Hadeed discusses that. Go thru its last parts. And here 's a part of the hadith {saying of Prophet Muhammad {pbuh}, - "Three will get their reward twice. A believer from the People of the Scriptures who has been a true believer in his Prophet and then believes in me, will get a double reward".    Your Questions: -For the hijab, that is my own decision and I have only just recently started wearing last month but I dont know whether I shall wear it permanantly or not-but again that is my decision.  Sister, to wear hijab is complusory for a muslimah. Does Allah swt not command you to wear hijab ? Your thought to wear it permanently or not, denotes that  --- anyways, sister, please do remember that every act of ours shud be for seeking the pleasure of Allah swt, not to follow our own desires, likes and dislikes. We submit our will to Allah swt is n't it ?  Allah swt has framed a good living for us that is easy to accept and to be followed.   -Allah gave us a time frame to pray so we may complete it within that time, I could go seperate room or even pray before I go(arent Arabs at least 2 hours late anyways, what will 5 minutes do?). And why would I miss a Salat ever? It marks all life with its sacred rhytm, and, from dawn to night, brings me before God and prevents me from being submerged in material and worldly concerns.   Subhan Allah , very good thoughts sister   -Thomas has even expressed want to go with me to Hajj and I would never miss that for anything.   But he in this state is n' allowed na ? Before entering into other country, we need that country's visa. Likewise to enter the house of Allah swt , we need to get His visa conditions fulfilled. One and the only comdition is, he shud be a muslim to offer his Hajj.   Hajj being our journey back to the centre, the ocus of Islamic Unity to walk amoung and with my ummah.Inshallah, that will be my parents graduation present for me :)   Insha Allah, If Allah swt wills . And Allah knows the best.   admin: the font was too small, has been rezized

Edited by icforumadmin - 16 July 2008 at 10:24pm

Thomas we as humans have a tendency of developing our own definitions of what love is. Love can fall under alot of definitions and feelings. But as a Muslim we learn that the love we have for someone is for the sake of Allah(swt). Love never contradicts the teachings and guidance of Allah(swt). So for a muslimah to love a unbeliever in the way that is described contradicts the guidance that Allah (swt) has given us as muslims. It's very challenging to be led back on the right path when one goes astray. But of course Allah(swt) makes all things possible.
Insha'Allah, I hope the sister that started this post will disregard her emotions and think more logical.

thomasd wrote: I am currently not inclined believe in Mohammed, for various reasons, the discussion of which would derail this topic (but which I am very much open to having later).

If the muslimah has dedicated herself to being a slave to Allah(swt) and obeying the Prophet Mohammad (p.b.u.h) then I find it impossible for her to love a man that rejects the last Prophet. I don't believe it's real love nor would I ever believe it's love that Allah (swt) developed between the two of you. It could be alot of other things, but not love.

layalee wrote: I still can't help but be confused on how the difference in religious views the two of you carry will allow the unity needed to form a good relationship. Main reason being I was under the impression that you rejected the Prophet Muhammad, but from reading your reply to my post, I'm not sure if that's the case.

because we believe in the same God, and as long as that is the case I will never attempt to dissuade her from worshipping Him or carrying out her religious duties, despite them being different from my own way of worshipping Him. As a Christian, I am taught to pray almost constantly, how then would praying out loud with her 5 times a day, in order to maintain family unity, be in conflict with my own beliefs? I am currently not inclined believe in Mohammed, for various reasons, the discussion of which would derail this topic (but which I am very much open to having later). Let it suffice to say that I am convinced of the truth of Christianity, but also always willing to weigh new evidence and rethink my beliefs in pursuit of truth. And for the sake of unity I will always be willing to join her in any form of worship of the one God that does not conflict with my own beliefs.

seekshidayath wrote: Answer to these situations After getting married to him, will he allow you to wear Hijab ? To be in hijab is compulsory  for a muslimah. Will you then say again, i believe in Allah swt, but still love my husband, so i shall forsake my hijab --- ? He may want you to accompany you to some party and at the other side you may have to miss Zuhr, Asr and Maghrib salah. What will you do ? Remember, even if you offer all the 24 hours and the remaining days of your life any ibadah, you cannot  fulfill the loss you made up by missing one salah. If  you wish to offer hajj, can  you ? or will you forsake this wish which every muslim heart yearns to fulfill it ? Like wise there are many aspects wherein, many contradictions may arise.

1) I will NEVER force her to dress in any way that would compromise her beliefs or her modesty. I think you forget that by my beliefs husband and wife are equals, and furthermore I believe that every human being is one of God's image-bearers (he created us in his likeness) and that the right to free will and making your own decisions--good or bad--is inherent to that.

2) Her spiritual needs would be treated with the same urgency as my own, if we must recess from the party, or simply not attend in order to pray, so be it.

3) though making that journey does not carry the same spiritual significance for me that it does for her, there is no reason I can not travel with her. A husband and wife must be as one, why then do you assume that my needs, or in some cases lack thereof, would always take precedence over hers?

Speaking to unrelated/non-mahram males is not a sin in Islam. However, any sort of romantic liasons, correspondence is a sin in Islam. Which means muslims can communicate/speak to members of the oppositte sex, without sinning - as long as they keep romantic interests, and sexuality out of things.

I have noticed in the past, and I notice again, that Muslims and Christians have different understandings of sin. I know that you do not believe in the concept of Original Sin. We (Christians); however, believe that what you call sins are only symptoms of a much deeper underlying problem, which is that since the time of Adam and Eve, humans have been flawed, imperfect beings, missing the mark of what God meant for us. Interestingly the English word sin comes from an old archery term that means quite literally "missing the mark." So everytime we commit a sin, we are simply demonstrating by how much we are missing the mark--hence the need for God's covenant with us in the person of Jesus Christ. From this view you can see God's laws for us falling into 2 separate categories. Thinks we shouldn't do because they denigrate God's glory or other people--God's image bearers, and through our hurt to them we also hurt Him. These are things like murder, lying, stealing, blasphemy, lust, etc. The other sort are His laws that He gave us out of His love for us....laws to protect us from things that might harm us: things that could put our faith in jeopardy, things that could make us sick or hurt us, and things that could harm our mental or emotional health. These are things like warnings against certain foods, marrying outside our own religion, having multiple partners for sex (this actually falls into the other category as well), and other things that would be harmful to us. We do not serve an arbitrary God either, everything he does has a reason behind it, and he always works in our best interests (not necessarily physically, but spiritually). One has only to look at the laws of physics to see this. His warnings against certain foods make perfect sense from a medical standpoint. Every one of those foods mentioned in the old testament was loaded with bacteria and other diseases, that ancient cultures had no of way treating. God didn't just feel like saying "don't eat pigs, I don't want you to." He put that law there because he cares for us, and doesn't want us to suffer as a result of our own foolish decisions. By the same measure, the law against multiple partners makes perfect sense on a biochemical level--strong emotional bonding chemicals are released into your body during sex that are released by no other biological process. To have multiple partners can be very emotionally devastating, because this intense bond, that is only supposed to happen between you and one other person, is tearing you in multiple directions. Our God knows that, and put those laws there to protect us. And finally I come to the warning against marrying outside our own religions. One only has to look at Solomon and the other old testament kings of Israel to see how spiritually seductive and devastating that can be. Yet Solomons wives worshipped different gods. In my case, she and I worship the same God. The one loving, amazing, gracious, omniscient, omnipotent God who created the universe and set the stars in motion. It would be foolish to think that we won't have conflicts, especially since we acknowledge the validity of a different set of prophets. Yet the resolution of each conflict can only lead both of us to seek harder after the truth, and grow closer to God. With this being said, I challenge you to explain to me why our continued relationship, and potential marriage would be sinful. I do not want to be answered by a single verse from the Qur'an or from the Bible. I want you to take that verse and explain how it applies to us in light of God's love for us, and his desire to protect us from harm.