PLEASE HELP!!

Lameese wrote: Angela, Do not take offense with Suleyman. I do not think he fully understands and I have never known him to be hurtful or mean in any of his posts. I do not think he understands fully. There is a language barrier and a custom barrier. And Suleyman, I think your English is coming along wonderfully.     Lameese

Okay Sister Lameesa,i have to think on the issue(my english) with connecting to leaving the board...this is too much for me saying in an public area that he does not fully understand!...if i don't understand  your words and you don't understand mine then why i am loosing my time in the board?...thanks for everyone....

Assalamu alaikum,

An escape plan is an excellent idea for any woman who fears violence might escalate in her home.  Your advice about that is very good, Angela.  Brother Suleyman - when a woman's husband becomes increasingly violent, she never knows when too much will become too much.  A violent man is not about to let his woman just walk away - that is why the escape plan is needed.

You must realize that, at least here in Canada (and I'm sure in many other places), murder is the leading cause of death for women after heart disease and cancer!  And the murderer is almost always her husband/boyfriend/ex.  Domestic violence is a huge problem in the west, and probably in most other places.  Violent men, by their nature, do not want to give up the woman they feel is "theirs".

I went through this for many, many years with my husband.  There was a point when I feared for my life.  To this day, though things are much better, I still keep all my important papers and a bit of money in a secret place so I can "grab and go" if I need to.

Sister J.R., and any of you who live with a man who is prone to bad temper, violence or untrustworthiness - it is very important to follow Angela's advice!  Do keep all your important papers and some money hidden in a place you can get at them if you suddenly need to run.  And do have an escape plan.  Let one or two people that you competely trust know about your plan - if you disappear they can be vital in bringing in the police quickly.

Brother Suleyman, I hope the seriousness of the situation some women find themselves in is a bit clearer to you now.  I know you were only trying to "lighten up" the situation, but domestic violence is something that shouldn't be joked about - it costs too many women their lives.

Peace, ummziba.

Bismillah,

J.R., I don't think there is any Islaamic reason that you can't divorce him for his zina when you are in different cities.  People get married via proxy as well. 

Why don't you go to a city that is promising for your career or more helpful for your disability, or you have a great muslim support group et cetera?

ummziba wrote: Assalamu alaikum,   Brother Suleyman - when a woman's husband becomes increasingly violent, she never knows when too much will become too much.  A violent man is not about to let his woman just walk away - that is why the escape plan is needed. Brother Suleyman, I hope the seriousness of the situation some women find themselves in is a bit clearer to you now.  I know you were only trying to "lighten up" the situation, but domestic violence is something that shouldn't be joked about - it costs too many women their lives. Peace, ummziba.

Aleykum Selam ve Rahmetullahi ve Berakatuh Sister Ummziba,

Sister these are the last words can be said to brother Suleyman,i know the meaning of domestic violence,i have been living with my sister(44) and with her two daughter(17+10) for 1,5 years and i have taken them from the hands of an drunkard who were beating them all day...as you know, two weeks ago, i have seeken duas from you for my fire in my heart,it was the fire coming from an wonderful girl i left(cancelled marrying) by the cause of my sister and her two daughter's future,my income is only enough for two family can't resist the third one....I KNOW THE MEANING OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND IT'S RESULTS...

I was joking in the thread by the cause of my real life passing in the realities i can't resist more in islamicity where i take fresh air inside my friends...THE ISSUE WAS NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,IT WAS MY BAD ENGLISH.Sister,have you ever left your love by the cause of your family?,while seeing that she is the other part of your soul and realizing that a sister waiting behind you with her two daughter should be protected by the cause of the domestic violence...have you ever lived while your hairs are getting white and not taking the decision for the step to marriage by the cause of your responsibilites on your family telling nothing to anyone,saving into your breast...

I just need to leave,what a rudeness laughing to one's english level and sister Ummziba i did not hear that you got sorry for the mistake she made....

Why i am wiriting?,i can't full understand the words?,isn't it Lameesa?...i decided to pass my time on the multimedia parts of the islamic sites(Zaytuna.Org)...at least i can push the pause button for full understanding the words...as you know i can't...best regards for every one who speaks from their hearts... i wish i will not turn back,Amin!!!....