Help me to Understand

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   In my life on this earth I have been blessed by Allah in good health, family, jobs and some friends.  I don't pray for materials, I never have but Allah has been kind to me in this, I have a simple life. However, I have tried many times to understand why I was not given happiness to be married, to have a good husband, and happy life together.  I try so many times to find the answer to this hurt of my heart but, I don't know it.  I have prayed to Allah so many days and nights and years for the answer, but still I have this empty sadness of my heart.  I know there are many here who understand and know much more than me, so I ask for your help, inshalallah.

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gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Help me to Understand Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:35am
	In my life on this earth I have been blessed by Allah in good health, family, jobs and some friends. I don't pray for materials, I never have but Allah has been kind to me in this, I have a simple life. However, I have tried many times to understand why I was not given happiness to be married, to have a good husband, and happy life together. I try so many times to find the answer to this hurt of my heart but, I don't know it. I have prayed to Allah so many days and nights and years for the answer, but still I have this empty sadness of my heart. I know there are many here who understand and know much more than me, so I ask for your help, inshalallah.

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 March 2010 at 7:51pm
	Asallam Alaikum, I could have written you post! I think I have so much but no husband.. I think most people are like us but in different ways.. most people have some type of "sadness" It just manifests itself in different ways. I have my own theories.. I know plenty of people who are married who have 'sadness' for many reasons. I think we see the potential and possibilities for our lives and they never, often quite get there on all levels. I have to say what helps me is to keep perspective but keeping in touch with other peoples' lives, how truly, truly hard they are. I think having some sadness is not a bad thing. We are human and we have emotions. And maybe by having 'incomplete' or 'imperfect' lives we long to go to a better place and not see the Dunya as heaven. What do you think? Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 March 2010 at 11:20pm
	Salam Good point Hayfa, we never reach perfect happiness in the dunya. We should try our best to achieve that we want, but left to Allah about the result He knows best what good for us. Just follow the flow of live, take it easy. I myself, alhamdulillah, have wonderful wife, wonderful children but many things that I dream not (yet) come true. Edited by semar - 17 March 2010 at 11:22pm
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 March 2010 at 5:43am
	Salaam Hayfa, yes I agree everyone has some sadness in some form at varied times and maybe its good to help us to see and grow. Yet, I think at a time in our lives we all want and need to share our hearts and lives. I really hope and believe that Allah never means for us to live alone. he gives us hearts to share I believe, not to keep in the dark. I share my love with many people other than families. I love to teach and give my time to help others and anything else if I have it. I was married also, and have 2 sons. Just, I don't want to live the remainder of my life alone. I try to be a good person as much as I can, I know I have much to learn yet in Islam and I am so willing to learn it. but as good as any of us can be, we are human as you say, and we get lonely, its natural.

seekshidayath Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357	Post Options Post Reply Quote seekshidayath Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 March 2010 at 9:48am
	As Salamu Alaikum Sister, kindly read this thread http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15991 Insha Allah, it shall help you alot. Patience patience and patience, untill your duas are answered sis.Untill then - not a word of complaint for Allah, for He knows us very well, and He loves and cares us more than anyone. Never despair and stay strong. Am sure that thread shall boost you.
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 March 2010 at 10:06am
	Salaam to all: my brother, how can I begin to thank you for the reading you sent to me today. Maybe Allah touch you to send it, I believe. So much of it is how I feel. I have spent my adult life raising my two sons alone. Often working 2 jobs but now they are young men, good men. The reading speaks of tears and fears, I can not begin to tell you how many times this has affected me. I can not tell you how many times I pray to Allah but the reading sends me encouragement. I am at fault for what my eyes see often times, others who are happy together and my heart has cried for that sure. I am in the process of trying to volunteer to help others to read english and use computers and teach them how to interview for jobs. In my heart I know Allah make me good at these things and I love to do it. Just sometimes in the quiet moments of the day or night, my mind tell me....I will die alone and never know the love that Allah want us to have to share. it is at those times I cry so much and say please Allah tell me what did I do? My age is not young though age is of no matter. I lost my dad one year ago, he was my rock, my mom is sick, my sister lost a kidney to cancer last year. Oh my Allah! just I pray to hold me together. My younger son live with me in college to be doctor, he is a true gift from Allah hamduliallah! I could not ask for a better child in my life. Sorry to make this so long, please forgive me. BUT BROTHER, THANK YOU from my heart. Thank all of you for your kindness and sweet concern for someone u do not even know. Pray Allah will bless all of you and your families.

seekshidayath Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357	Post Options Post Reply Quote seekshidayath Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 March 2010 at 10:21am
	As Salamu Alaikum Sister, stay strong !! May Allah swt bless you with patience. Stay active at Islamicity, sis. You can help those who are in need of advice, or may also share anything that you know of Islam. Only key for contentment which i feel is to value what we have. Edited by seekshidayath - 18 March 2010 at 10:33am
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 22 March 2010 at 9:01am
	Salaam sister seekshidayath, I went into your blog this morning and begin to read about BEING SAD and why we should not and what it does to us. You know I wish I can carry this in my heart each day. Sadness is so strong with me, and I know its not good. I read also about trying to be patient and not worry of things and how it make us allow bad things to go into our minds. I try each day so hard not to do this also, but its very hard for me. I talk to Allah almost all day. Sometimes I think he grows tired to hear my calls my crys. But I have no place else to go, no one can feel my heart as Allah, no one can allow me to speak free as Allah and understand just me. I tell you the truth, my heart is breaking. But I am trying so hard to find the strength and that is why I come to this place. Many have sent to me words of the Holly Quran to help me, and I read it. Just I don't want to leave this earth with my heart this way, everyone want love and care from others and family. No one want to be alone in life, its just too hard, to hard. But I thank you for your blog its a very good one just I ask all of you to pray Allah do something inside of me, to make me strong to change my sadness. Thank you.