Husbands Helping out? |
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Jenni
Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 29 July 2005 at 12:46pm |
Salaam sisters, I was wondering how you all feel about your husbands
helping around the house. Before I got married I made it very clear
that I would not do all of the housework and child care myself and my
husband agreed. I have held him to it and he probably does about 25% of
the house work. Mainly vacuuming, yardwork, taking out the garbage and
recycling and helping clean the kitchen after dinner and putting away
clean laundry. He also probably changed about 15% of the diapers and
does kids baths and bedtime routine about 15% of the time. I feel this
is fair for now since I am not working and he usually works alot. I do
all the cooking though and although I enjoy it, sometimes it gets
really old. When we had more money we used to have a cleaning lady come
twice a month that would clean the house from top to bottom. We are
planning on having one again next year. Anyway I feel that all sisters
should expect husbands to help if they don't provide a maid and
from what I have read this is Islamically correct. I hope you all
have a good situation.Peace
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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ummsaleh
Groupie Joined: 09 July 2005 Location: Bahrain Status: Offline Points: 87 |
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Living in the states I had no help and 4 children. Tooooo much;of course the men come home too tired to do anything. Now i have 2 maids and a guard and gardner. Masha�llah, but with help comes problems.Sometimes i wish that they would all go away. Subhanallah we are never satisfied. |
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J.R.
Groupie Joined: 25 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 87 |
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Assalamu Alaikum,
One thing I wills ay for my husband is that when we were together he was very considerate of my needs. He offered again and again to help me cook, even when I told him it was my pleasure to do so. He asked if he could help with countless things I was doing. He often said he would much rather help me do chores around the house so he could share that time and be around me rather than just be by himself while I was doing them. Man, he does have many good qualities. So confused!! But yes, the Prophet (saw) often helped his wives with house-related issues. Our beloved Prophet respected women so much and treasured their opinions and company. All Muslim men should follow that example. Peace, J.R. |
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Saido
Groupie Joined: 28 July 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 64 |
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Asalamu Alaykum Yes, it is nice to have the husbands to do some house work. But don't try to get them to clean when they are tired and just came from work becaus then things can get a bit ugly |
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ummsaleh
Groupie Joined: 09 July 2005 Location: Bahrain Status: Offline Points: 87 |
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I agree Saido, I have 7 children and weekly dinner partys for at least 30 people; theres no way i can do it alone.
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Lost somewhere in the Middle East.
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Jenni
Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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I am as tired as my husband when he gets home from work. He does an
office job and is not laying bricks or anything. In fact I think my job
as a houswife and Mother is more physically difficult than his and it
would be easier if I worked in an office too. I am staying home for the
benifit of him and my children not because it is easier. So when he
gets home I expect him to be ready and at least occupy the kids. Peace
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Rose
Senior Member Joined: 07 July 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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Salaam Jenni, I think so too that our job is more physically and may I add mentally hard just thinking about everything in the house and the kids and when the is a doctors appointment, or what to cook, or......... I could keep going. True the husband goes to work and I respect how much he has to put up with just to put food on the table, but when he comes home he has nothing to worry about while the wife is usually still running around the house from the "kids", and house work (which never ever finishes). So even though the husband doesn't help around he should atleast appreciate what she is doing. But, I am not talking about me just in general 'cause I see most of my friends that their husbands don't care or appreciate what they do. My husband helps around sometimes, but I don't like to tell him to help me work in the house 'cause I do think that that is a females job, cooking maybe sometimes, kids definitly. Peace |
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A thorn defends the rose,harming only those who would steal the blossom
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Jenni
Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Rose, why do you think that it is a females job? Everything I have
studied in Islam says that it is the Husbands job to maintain the home.
The wife is not required to maintain it, if she does so she is doing an
act of charity for him. And as far as taking care of the kids there is
the loving and teaching them and the physical care for them such as the
bathing and dressing which are just as much the resposibility of the
father. Muslims get the idea that this is womans work, this is cultural
not Islamic. And in wealthier Muslim countries and even in Pakistan
where my Husband is from upper middle class women do basically no
housework and have a fulltime maid and gardener. They pretty much only
cook and thats it, if they want to. Some have nannys as well who help
with the kids if they don't have thier moms or mother in laws around.
Since we are living in the U.s.a and labor is very expensive I don't
expect all that. But I do expect him to help around the house, since
this is not my job I am just doing as a favor to him. Peace
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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