Husbands Helping out?

Assalaamu alaikum

Dear Jenni,

It�s clear that your husband is from a wealthy family; hence unless he suddenly becomes compassionate for the poor, he is naturally going to propagate a message similar to what you have brought. I assume this is (one of the reasons) why you liked him, and married him in the first place.

I can see that you have some resentment in the fact that, you are �forced� to stay at home and look after your kids (ie �I am sacrificing being at home for the kids, thats it. Otherwise I can go back to work and do more than just cook and clean.�).

This seems to me like you are resenting been a mother, and would rather compete with your husband in work (earning money). I don�t know if you have ever thought of this (and I do not have anything against women working), but maybe when you work, you take the job of another woman�s husband, and where does that leave her?

Regarding equality, naturally there are different grades in Jannah (& hence on earth also), I just wonder how people can have the cheek to preach - moderation & equality � when they quite clearly wish to hoard as much money as they are able (which is certainly not moderate nor equal). 

Narrated Hakim bin Hizam {RA}: I asked The Prophet {SAW} (for some money) and he gave me, and then again I asked and he gave me, and then again I asked him and he gave me and then said, �This wealth is (like) green and sweet (fruit), and whoever takes it without greed, Allah will bless it for him, but whoever takes it with greed, Allah will not bless it for him, and he will be like the one who eats but is never satisfied. And the upper hand is better than the lower (taking) hand.� [Sahih Al-Bukhari: Vol. 8: 448]

Many people are been denied even a wage, so is it fair that they should be discarded merely to support a small minorities luxury? If the poor are denied their basic necessities, as a result of a greedy few, then that few have certainly not perceived the message of moderation, equality - Islam�..

Narrated Abdullah {RA}: The Prophet {SAW} said, �Who among you considers the wealth of his heirs dearer to him than his own wealth?� They replied, �O Allah�s Messenger! There is no among us but loves his own wealth more.� The Prophet {SAW} said, �So his wealth is whatever he spends (in Allah�s cause) during his life (on good deeds), while the wealth of his heirs is whatever he leaves after his death.� (*) [Sahih Al-Bukhari: Vol. 8: 449]  

* What one spends during one�s life for Allah�s sake is what one really owns, because one will get permanent reward for that in the Hereafter.

In the above Hadith man is acceptant of the fact that, his own wealth (ie good deeds) is dearer to him than that of his heirs (his worldly possessions, that which he leaves behind), hence if a person comprehends the Hadith, they may realise the hoarding of worldly wealth is indeed a bad habit. So when will we realise that �real wealth�, is the purification of our spiritual health? When did the pursuit of worldly commodities - possessions, gain precedence over good deeds � true intentions? (Exert form one of my other posts)

Equality!

salam sisters,

I hate to say this, but i have 2 maids. My husband has forced them on me. Although, i don't like having them; i need them. I have masha�llah 7 children and sure to have more. My husbands family is big and i do all the cooking on Fridays( not the maids) Also i cook everyday and watch my children. To be honest there are lots of times that i wish i could send them home. As for my husband he never comes in contact with them. They both wear face covers Masha�llah. I don't feel spoiled because my husband has provided me with maids,he says that he wants lotttttssssssss of babies and that the responsibilities that i have with his family i need them. Masha�llah friday lunch is 10 chickens/ or 1 sheep. It takes 1 hour just to make salad/and wash the fruit for lunch. If a man can afford it/why not? If he can't than he needs to help out.

Salaam,

herjihad,  you have done a good thing about the lady and May Allah (swt) reward you for that.

you said" Working together would be lovely rather than each waiting for the other to fulfill his or her supposed duty."

exactly, I wouldn't wait for my husband to tell me to do something, I just do it. And also my husband doesn't need me always telling him do this and do that, he helps without me telling him. Both partners need to understand eachother and know when help is needed.

Peace