Assalamu Alaikum
Brother Illuminati, there is a reward, both in this world and the next, for the decision you have made. Inshallah you will feel its effect and know that your decision was the right one. What you need to do is simply ask Allah for forgiveness and then don't look back at the past, just keep looking in the direction of Allah the Merciful. We live in a world that hates to see people living purely for Allah because then we are not buying into what they have for sale. But what they have for sale can never match what Allah can give us. Once again, I will end my post with an ayat, but this time, it�s a du'a. Inshallah you will learn it and keep it close to your heart always.
Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith. (2:286)
rabbana wala tuhammilna ma la taqata lana bihi waoAAfu -AAanna waighfir lana wairhamna anta mawlana faonsurna AAala alqawmi alkafireena
Ashukru-lillahi Rabbil-Alameen wala-hawla wala quwata illa billah
Allah Hafiz
Sister Khadija