Question for muslim brothers

Peacemaker, I agree that works for some people, probably most. I too am at home but want to go back to my medical profession in the future as their is a great need and I really miss it. However I have met some women who have worked so hard on thier education that they do not want to lose it and stay at home. One friend is a P.H.d in microbiology. She has 2 young kids and works part time about 20 hours a week. She has a good Muslim baby sitter and also her husband fills in too. Can we honestly expect someone to work that hard, become a doctor, lawyer or engineer and just leave the workforce and have lost all your skills when you return? What women really need are more options, to work part time. To work from home, to contract work with flexible hours and to have flexibe childcare.(I ecourage sisters to start home based chilcare that have education and experience with kids as thier is a great need!) I hope and pray someday my daughter will become a doctor or some other noble profession and when she has kids she can have flexibility to have time with them but to also keep her foot in the door with her career and work part time. We need alot of women doctors, nurses, teachers, therapists, ect. And if they all just check out of the workforce what will we do? I don't want a male nurse next time I go to the hospital, and I'm sure most women don't either. Peace

Every person's situation is different. The main thing is that when marrying you find someone who can agree with you on these things. If someone wants to marry a woman who can/wants to work so be it. There are plenty of women out there who will.

The saddest reality is the majority of women and men work too long hours and don't have the time or energy to enjoy / spend time with their children. At least here in the states, having kids is terribly expensive. I am not talking about the extras but just to have a place to live, food, clothing, etc.  Like here in DC, a one -room bedroom is anywhere from $1200-$2000. California is one of the most expensive places to live.  

Some women actually can be come very depressive staying home all day. None of us are the same. They can get very depressed. Often women can become isolated and this can cause stress. Just having a parent �present� does not make them a good parent.  My mother was home all the time and this did not mean that she was able to emotionally and mentally handle the situation. Neglect can happen in different ways.  At times one will not know how we will react until we are in a given situation, how any of will feel being home all day with young children. On top of hormonal changes, this can be too much for some people.

Remember the woman who killed her children in Texas? Women killing their children is fairly rare in all societies. So it makes you wonder what she was going through� she was or needed anti-depressant medication, staying at home raising her 4 kids. Then she and her husband decided to have a fifth. She was depressed and he was a good �Christian� who wanted that large family. And she snapped. And killed them all. It is too much to fathom for most of us why or how.

I only brought it up as to underscore the importance of the need for recognition of the mental and emotional needs of people. Not just physical needs.

Each family has to make the best decisions for a given situation. Sometimes we don�t have too much choice. If a family has the economic freedom to make these choices, more power to you.

Since in many cultures people other then the father or mother take care of the child in the day, this is not much different than daycare to a degree. How many families do you see grandma taking care of the kids, while the mother works?  The most able-bodies people must work in the world. How many women go to work with the children strapped to their backs? How many children in the world work? 

Ironically some places are too expensive to just have one person work and in others you could not survive basic living. Whereas if you make what one does in US, you can live like royalty in other places.

Peace.

Assalamu Alaikum:

Angela,

When we were little my Dad was stationed at Ft. Bliss in El Paso, Tx for a while. We had an old station wagon and all the neighborhood kids called it the "dragon wagon" because it burned oil. We used to all pile in it and go to this little place called the Dairy King and get soft serve ice cream cones. Then we go to the park and hike and play.

One of my favorite memories was when we lived in Germany. The "phening man" the german equivalent of the ice cream man, would come around with his cart and we would get to buy anything we wanted from him for a phening. He sold gummy bears, pretzels, schnitzel... We always got the gummy bears wrapped in white paper shaped into cones to hold the bears.

Brother Peacemaker:

Like you, my husband would not mind if I wanted to teach again, preferably from home, but he would never take a penny of my money.

My husband and I both thank God for what we have. Al HamdilAllah we have what we need, and often what we want. But I think it's a blessing when you can't get everything you want right away. It teaches patience, and anticipation. Delayed gratification. Because, if you think about it, that's what Islam is all about.

Assalamu Alaikum:

The Word of Allah(SWT) is not rhetoric. Quiwama (maintenance and protection) is not a choice, it is an order from Allah(SWT). Equal rights fro women cannot be above the Laws of Allah(SWT).

Texas doesn't have a state property tax, it has local personal property tax which taxes all real and income-producing personal property. There is no federal standardization, so they raise it frequently thus Texas actually has one of the nations highest property tax.