uncomfortable at the Mosque

 I have been practicing Islam for about 4 years. My problem is this: When I go to the mosque, I end up going home and crying.  The sisters are not friendly to me and the brothers are not friendly to my husband. Our children are always looked at as if they are out of control.  I try to carry on  conversations but they all gather in their own cliques and I am left in a corner sitting alone. The "straw that broke the camel's back" was during Ramadan, we went to an iftar, no one spoke to me or my  family and we ended up leaving.This is everytime that we go. How many times do you get your feelings hurt before you say enough is enough?

 

Welcome to Islam! Welcome to the Ummah!  Join the choir honey!

Okay.. on a serious note..

My family has gone through this and we did get through it.

Here is what we did or do:

1. Refuse whole heartedly to give up our relationship with Allah, and to stop attending services at the Masjids, because this isn't about them, it's about our relationship with Allah. We are not there for them, we are there for Yal-Malik. We tell ourselves this every time we go to the masjids. Even though I have an infant I say to her, and I encourage you to say it to your children so that they won't become disaffected and leave Islam.

2. Smile  Smile  Smile  What we do is smile, laugh, and talk any way, even if it is to each other or heck the wall! Be confident, be proud, and be happy.

3. Confront the Imam or the Shura counsel. Stand up for what you know is terrible adab and a disgrace to the Masjid. It's not their Masjid, it's his Masjid, and if they say other wise, I wouldn't pray there. Write a letter.

4. Attend confrences, workshops, bazaars nationally. We meet people from all over and establish long distance relationships and meet up annually to be with each other's families.

5. Try another masjid. Even if the majority of the people act like their stuff doesn't stink, there may be a few who feel the same way you do. Take out an add in the local news paper or Muslim paper advertising a lunch or dinner for Muslim families once a month. Look for other Mothers or farthers. Start a play group, parenting group, or girls night out group.

6. Do not rely on the internet as your main source of support. It's not good for you eman.

7. Don't give up- if fellowship is that important to you, you are going to have work harder and seek out people on your own.

I find the Naqshabandi's Tariqa's to be a very comfortable group of people. Ladies always eat first, and interact in discussions. People are there because they focused on killing their ego not blowing it up. There are squables and no community is  perfect but I think they have the best adab I've seen in the seven years I've been Muslim. I don't agree with everything they believe in, but I respect anybody who cares enough to make a concerted effort to create a worship enviournment for Allah not their own political agenda's and I love the way women and mothers are treated.

Salaam

Hope I helped.

 

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have experienced this countless times myself. This is one of the issues
that causes me such anger. May Allah (swt) give me and the other reverts
patience with this. What a bunch of hypocrites. These sisters and
brothers want people in this country to respect Islam and don't like it
when we are stereotyped or feared but when you see a revert to Islam you
don't smile? You don't return the salaam? These types of people
obviously don't know what true Islam means. Ok, I better stop typing
because I'm getting so angry.

.

Edited by Hanan