second chances

asalamu alaikum

does anyone know the reason why , if a man gives his wife talaaq, then she has to marry someone else and consumate that marriage, before her husband can remarry her?

how easy is it from a mans point of view to remarry a woman after u know shes been with another man. especially if when u first married her , she was a virgin. and now she has a child from her other marriage. can this remarriage survive all these factors? is it natural for any man to accept this or is it a battle.

well in this scenario the man only gave one talaaq in one sitting. he used the works "SO I SET YOU FREE." when the ulema questioned him about these words, he confirmed that his intention was to give his wife talaaq. accordingly the ulema advised the wife that this was an irrevocable talaaq. the wife was then asked to observe her iddat period. no one even looked into the possiblity that the woman may have had her period at the time.

what if the sister did inded have her period when her husband uttered these words. he didnt utter them as such but he sent her an email with these words. the sister has subsequently remarried . but now the issue of the validity of the previous talaaq has surfaced.

yes they were living apart at that time. the Moulana called the husband telephonically and asked what he intended by the email. the husband confirmed that he intended talaaq. at that time, the husband and wife had been separated for about 2 months and the husband had married someone else.

the husband claims that his wife had put him in the corner and that she was hasty to seek talaaq. however , the wife is of the view that her actions were justified since he had married someone else and he had sent her that email. he didnt make any efforts at that time to reconcile with her or try and sort out thier differences.

What country do they live in? south africa

 And how long have they been divorced after how long a marriage? they were married for 7 years and have been divorced for 3 years

And last thing just curious-- what are their birth dates if you can find out?
They must not be very compatible signs, just a guess! hes an aquarian and shes cancerian

its sad cos both seem very remorseful and seem keen to remarry. they both remarried too soon after the divorce and both their remarriages turned out to be disastorous.

but i think she needs to think about her kids first, especially the kid from her 2nd marriage. her ex might not accept this kid and might end up mistreating him. also waht if they remarry and then things dont work out. their kids will be devastated all over again. its too risky to walk down that path again

to complicate matters more, there is another brother who is keen to marry this sister. hes older than her. hes 48 and shes 32. hes known her for about 16 years . apparently he was keen to marry her after her first divorce, but before he could even approach her family, he learnt that she had already remarried

this brother knows her situation and accepts her and her kids. he seems to be a good person. but shes afraid to even consider this brother, given her past history of being let down by the men she married. the brother has told her that he is patient. he said hes prepared to wait for her to sort things out with her hubby, get her talaaq, and observe her iddat. hes keen to marry her, but hes also not rushing or pressuring her. he seems understanding.

all these things are making her very confused. the man that she truly loves is her ex hubby. her current hubby and her have been very good friends their whole life, but she doesnt have such strong feelings for him. as for this 3rd brother who wants to marry her, she is unsure of how she feels for him. but shes not ready to make any decisions in that regard until her talaaq is finalised. but her hubby refuses to give her talaaq. hes holding her "hostage", keeping her tied to him in marriage, yet living apart with his other wife.

could anyones life be more complicated than this?