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Fatou
Starter. Female Joined: 19 May 2016 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Posted: 19 May 2016 at 8:36pm |
May peace be upon you all, Alhamdoulilah.
I m writing because l have a problem that is been bothering me a lot. My parents were divorced when l was 1 and half year old, l never asked about the cause but one thing l know is my mother hates my dad. I was raised by my maternal grandmother,my mother was not around a lot and l don't blame her for that she was working all the time. My father did not involve much in my life. After l completed my 2 years college degree in Africa l joined my mother who was living in U.S to complete my studies. It was not easy to live with my mom in U.S she always said things that really heart me a lot ( you are ugly, you will never be successful, you are a looser just like your dad etc... She even accused me of willing to kill her which never crossed my mind) and l m her only child, l worked for her business to pay for my studies but she always reminded that l would be nothing without her anyway l can't tell everything. During all these times l never been disrespectful to her or left her side and l was 23 and that kept going on for 4 years . Alhamdoulilah l survived. Now one day she told if ever l become successful in life and help my dad she will never talk to me again well l didn't commit to that. Thank God l have finished school and landed a good job Alhamdoulilah. I have been working for 6 years and l can't save any money since because on every paycheck l have to give her almost half of my paycheck. If l don't do so my life becomes fitnah with her. After paying bills and rent l m almost left without nothing. I do not have a problem giving her money, but l m worrying about my future l got married about a year ago and l have to think about planning on having kids and all that. Furthermore l can't financillay help my dad and other members of my family. My mom has money more than l do but she acts like she doesn't if l give her one penny less than what she wants she just lost control and become the meanest person ever. Now l get to a point where l have to do something about this but l do not want all the drama involve so l m here looking for advice or dua to get her more reasonable about my financial situation without all the drama and madness. Sorry about the length. Edited by Fatou - 19 May 2016 at 8:41pm |
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fais
Senior Member Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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Walekum assalam,
Well I think you should respect your Mom but not at cost of her unislamic demands. you can provide her with how much she needs and rest save for your better future. You said you got married, if yes then it is your husband and you who will decide what needs to be done with the income in the family. If you are staying with her than you might leave her house and take care of her by visiting her everyday. You should contact your other relatives as your mom has no right to cut you from the relation of Womb. Hope this helps Regards Faisal |
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Fatou
Starter. Female Joined: 19 May 2016 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Thank you for the advice.
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Sultana99
Newbie Joined: 28 May 2016 Status: Offline Points: 25 |
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Assalamalikum your mom looks like a typical mom most people have your mom has gone through so much this may be expected of her in most situations moms who have lived a relatively good life are also like this .The best part is despite all this your letter never mentions that you ever became depressed or lost your peace of mind , maybe because you are more socially active.think about the children who become depressed and mad due to their parents and the same parents give them antidepressants and antipsychotics.unless Allah wills your mom is going to remain as unreasonable forever.its not her fault something she can change or have control even young people your siblings , cousin's or in laws or even spouse can be weird some change some are simply unchangeable .you should be grateful that mashAllah you have lived well got married have a wonderful spouse and leave all these problems to Allah .and live your life happily .may Allah give you barakath
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Sultana99
Newbie Joined: 28 May 2016 Status: Offline Points: 25 |
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As for your mother she is your responsibility and door to jannah so you need to take care of her in all ways without causing undue harm of any kind to your mind family or finance
Edited by Sultana99 - 18 July 2016 at 2:36am |
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Sultana99
Newbie Joined: 28 May 2016 Status: Offline Points: 25 |
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You may leave the house as well .I think you should
Edited by Sultana99 - 18 July 2016 at 2:43am |
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Fatou
Starter. Female Joined: 19 May 2016 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Thank you for the advice
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asep48garut60
Senior Member Male Joined: 27 July 2016 Location: Indonesia Status: Offline Points: 248 |
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Wa�alaikumsalam Warahmatullaahi Wabarakaatuhu,
all suggestions from our relatives (Faisal and Sultana99) are all good and helpful for you. Your life journey has a similar experience with me, the difference is that I am a man (now 56 years). You don't despair and feel depressed, please read the words of Allah, such as: At Taghabun sura (64):11, Al Mu�Min sura (40):60, Al Baqarah sura (2):45, Al Baqarah sura (2):186 Narrated by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim: �A Muslim who gets the hardships of life, disease, poverty, including pricked by a thorn or more than that, Allah Subhanahu Wata�ala will remove his/her sins, like the falling leaves from its tree.� I pray to Allah, hoping that you will get a solution soon, and trust to Allah that He will help His servants, one day you will find happiness. Insha Allah. Ameen. Wassalamu�alaikum, Asep |
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