Marriage

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   Salaam how's it going? Hope you're all fine.
I'm hoping you guys can help me out a bit! I'm 18 and with all my heart I want to get married......but I don't know how to tell my parents and I'm scared that they won't accept! They might say that I'm too young and that I should finish my education. But inshaAllah I'll still complete my education even when I am married. Any suggestions???

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mimi_3 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 03 April 2005 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote mimi_3 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Marriage Posted: 03 April 2005 at 8:02am
	Salaam how's it going? Hope you're all fine. I'm hoping you guys can help me out a bit! I'm 18 and with all my heart I want to get married......but I don't know how to tell my parents and I'm scared that they won't accept! They might say that I'm too young and that I should finish my education. But inshaAllah I'll still complete my education even when I am married. Any suggestions???

alaa_k Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 11 April 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5	Post Options Post Reply Quote alaa_k Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 April 2005 at 3:02am
	Salam, sister! I suggest that you talk to your parents. You are afraid that they might not give you the answer that you want to hear. But think, they have been on this Earth longer than you, they have more experience, and they really know better. Talk to them! I know how you feel: you're young, you want excitement in your life, so you think that getting married will give you that excitement and adventure in your life. But remember, marriage is for life! Really, you don't want to make a foolish decision here - you don't want to get stuck with a person that later on you don't want to be with. And it does happen. It is very easy to make a decision to get married, but it is very hard to get out of the problems about marriage. If they say wait a little and study more, there's a reason for that. Your parents will have a good judgement, I'm sure. You don't want to end up unhappy. So, please, don't be afraid. Talk to your parents. Even if they don't say, what you want to hear, they will probably be right. And you will only find this out with time. (Praise to Allah!) Edited by alaa_k

kim! Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 17 September 2001 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 2390	Post Options Post Reply Quote kim! Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 April 2005 at 8:45pm
	Mimi, I think Alaa_k's advice is very good. Please try not to rush into things too quickly - when you are 25 you will be a different person compared with you at the age of 18, and by the time you are 35 you will be completely different. Imagine how you will feel at 35 if you make the wrong decision at 18! I'm not saying you will make the wrong decision ( i hope you don't!) but I'm just agreeing that you need to be very careful. Why do you need to marry so suddenly - have you met someone? Kim...

fatimamuslima Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 13 April 2005 Location: France Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote fatimamuslima Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 April 2005 at 2:03am
	salam ou ralaikoum oua rahmatollah ioua barakaou, firts of all I want to say that you are not so young for getting married, if you are "ready" you can get married, I will give you an example, my sister get married last year ( she was18 years old and a student,) my parents were agree (you know, "marriage" represent the half of religion, so it's very important!!) ...you can see a 25years old girl who will be "in her mind" a little girl, she isn't mature et vice versa,the only thing I hope for you and all muslim is that you will find or choose a very good muslim and inchallah i hope for you el rheir ou salam ou ralaikoum oua rahmatollah ioua barakatou, fatima (I'm sorry for my english but I speak french better..)

Brother123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 22 April 2005 Status: Offline Points: 84	Post Options Post Reply Quote Brother123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 August 2005 at 6:01am
	Get married sis. Prophet's (peace be upon him) advice is to get married early. Please read marraige section www.shariahway.com You do istihara and Inshallah Allah will help you with the right decision. In kafir societies even at 40 they arent mature for marriage. And they have haram relationships well before 18. Fatima sis excellent advice. !8 is old. Boys and girls have needs and need purify minds and body. marraige is halal way to do that. The sooner the better. You see in Muslim countries 15 yr old girls with children. MasshaAllah very mature mind. But in Kafir countries you see tehir women 40 years behaving like 2 years olds. Drunk and takeing their cloths of in public all sorts. & 70 year old women start singing, dancing and pulling up their skirts in busses. So no wonder they will advice marry late (what when person is in teh grave will they be mature for marrraige? ) Edited by Brother123

sister76 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 13 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote sister76 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 November 2005 at 7:18pm
	Assalaamoaalaikum I agree that in Muslim countries and in the past brothers would marry in their late teens and sisters in mid or early teens and their marriages were more successful. Inshallah if you plan on taking the halal step Allah will surely help you with your decision on marrying early. May other young brothers and sisters follow your footsteps.

herjihad Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473	Post Options Post Reply Quote herjihad Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 November 2005 at 12:12am
	Bismillah, I agree with ak_m's advice to you. Thinking important things through is vital to making good decisions for your life. And hopefully your parents are receptive to your needs and ideas. But don't jump into marriage because although marriage is the best way to complete our religion, many people, even in Muslim countries, marry early and get divorced quickly. My dear Arabic Muslim niece who lives in Jordan didn't listen to advice not to marry a man because her emotions of love for him overtook her, and her desire to start her life. He is in prison, and she is at home again with a baby. And they are very poor, May Allah, SWT, provide for them. So you want to let your parents help you think clearly if they will. And you can talk to us about the details, dear sister.
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.

sister76 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 13 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote sister76 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 November 2005 at 2:47pm
	Of course I forgot to mention that you do indeed need to look into the background of your spouse and I do hope it's a good practicing muslimah. If you are afraid to talk to your parents about this maybe you might want to talk it over in confidence with an Islamic scholar, I'm sure he'll listen to you and you have nothing to fear.Alot of times they are willing to listen to problems and help out.