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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 November 2008 at 6:05am
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharonjundi My dear sister this is indeed a tragedy.Maybe he just needs some space and you two can reconcile Inshallah.I know Im not family or even know you personally but we both know what Allah loves.Does he speek of seeking a divorce?Do you two have chidren?Sometimes we men do go through changes in which we question ourselves about our decissions in life.When I was married I when through a separation and I know for a fact if he is not ready to come back it will not work give him his space.There's a old saying that if you love someone let them go and if they come back you really know.Keep in touch I have alot to say to you and I dont what you to take it all in at ounce.You really do need someone to talk too, yes even a stranger but one who comes in peace As salaamulaikum. May Allah give you comfort in your time of need.(Ameen)
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sharonjundi View Drop Down
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Points: 34 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sharonjundi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 November 2008 at 1:08pm
Thank you so much. You are so kind. I am trying really
hard to give him all the space he needs, but it is so hard to do this. He first said he did not want a divorce
and when I pressured him about coming home, then he said
he wanted a divorce. Now he does not mention this to me.
I just miss him so much.   I pray that Allah will lead me
in the right direction and help me in this time of need.
After so many years together, I really have a hard time
realizing that he actually left me. We have 2 boys that
are now grown. I ask for your prayers and may Allah
help me.
Thank you so much for your reply.

Sharon
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Imani View Drop Down
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Points: 92 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Imani Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2008 at 3:33am
 Sharon dont even mention it. we will always include you in our prayers.
May ALLAH have mercy on you.
                                       Amen!Smile


Edited by Imani - 23 November 2008 at 3:34am
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2008 at 7:45am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Thank you so much. You are so kind. I am trying really
hard to give him all the space he needs, but it is so hard to do this. He first said he did not want a divorce
and when I pressured him about coming home, then he said
he wanted a divorce. Now he does not mention this to me.
I just miss him so much.   I pray that Allah will lead me
in the right direction and help me in this time of need.
After so many years together, I really have a hard time
realizing that he actually left me. We have 2 boys that
are now grown. I ask for your prayers and may Allah
help me.
Thank you so much for your reply.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi Jazakallah for responding to my reply.Im very pleased to hear back from you. [IMG]smileys/smiley4.gif" align="middle" /> Im also very pleased to see you are still trying to get your husban back.When dealing with matters of the heart we tend to act on our emotions and not logic.I have been divorced for eight years.My ex-wife wanted the divorce because our situations was stressful to her and she started getting depressed.Maybe she thought she was doing me a favor by this,But the thing was that I was Muslim and she was a Kaffir and it was never going to work.I think I was out of my mind( maybe) off my deen definitely.(LoL)So to make a long story short Sister Its not about what we want for our selves its what Allah wants for us.And a true Muslim wants for his brother or sister what he wants for himself.Are your husban friends Muslim I had to ask because of the previous sentence.I Pray that Allah help him find his way back.Ahamdulillah two grown boys, our work as parents is never done.I have two sons and a daughter.15,9and2.May Allah be pleased with our intentions.Sister stay positive and patient dont pressure him remeber (space) we are always tested in this life shaiton is always lerking and Allahs the best refuge.Remind him of his Imaan.

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 24 November 2008 at 7:19am
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2008 at 8:33am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

We have 2 boys that
are now grown.
Sharon
 
Have they spoken to their father on your behalf?
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sharonjundi View Drop Down
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Points: 34 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sharonjundi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2008 at 4:11pm
Hello again,

Yes, his friends are Muslim. I hope and pray that they
would talk to him about this. I am not sure what they
say to him, because almost all of them are married and
have young children. Lately, this past few days, he has
come by the house to fix things around the house. I do
not know if he feels guilty and that is why he is helping?
He wants to come over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. It will just be our 2 boys and him and I.
I am really confused on his feelings towards me this weekend. Does he care or is he just trying to be nice
and release his guilt?

Thank you for your kindness are caring.........

May ALLAH bless you.

Sharon
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sharonjundi View Drop Down
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Points: 34 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sharonjundi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2008 at 4:15pm
The boys are so hurt over this situation, especially
the oldest son. They never talk anyone. They have had
very ugly words to each other in the past few months.
My youngest son stays with me at home and works and
goes to school. They talk all the time and do things
together.
My boys love their dad, but act a lot different towards
him.

May ALLAH watch over all of us and bless us.

Sharon
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 November 2008 at 7:16am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,

Yes, his friends are Muslim. I hope and pray that they
would talk to him about this. I am not sure what they
say to him, because almost all of them are married and
have young children. Lately, this past few days, he has
come by the house to fix things around the house. I do
not know if he feels guilty and that is why he is helping?
He wants to come over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. It will just be our 2 boys and him and I.
I am really confused on his feelings towards me this weekend. Does he care or is he just trying to be nice
and release his guilt?

Thank you for your kindness are caring.........

May ALLAH bless you.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Jazakallah for writting back.Am I wrong,you seem to be in good spirits?(Ahamdulillah)May Allah bless you also.Its great to hear that he whats to be nice, for any reason thats a sign of love there.If he truly realize that divorce is not necessisary and maybe its his way of trying to makeup with you.(by being nice) I know how hard it is to see someone you love hurting.I think he knows how you feel.Do you know how he feels?Is your husban in good health? some men have certain health problems when they reach a certain age.Im just reaching with this one but you know how in order for a men to marry in the first place they have to be able to concemate.Some men have these problems later on in life.(you get it)you dont have to answer that.It could be embarassing for him.He whats to spend time as a family( good).You all should talk as a family these situations affects everyone in the family.Remember Prophet Muhammed (SAW)says:   Fortunate is the one whose own faults(seeking them)preoccupy him from seeking faults of others.

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 24 November 2008 at 12:23pm
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