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Husbands Helping out? |
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Rose 
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Joined: 07 July 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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 Posted: 31 July 2005 at 9:14am |
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sis jenni, Since when did the man stay at home and the woman go out to work? And since the woman is more sensitive and has more affection than the man (in which men are more stronger by controlling their feelings) it is more convincing that the woman is the home loving person the kids and husband come home to. Yes, and since in Canada I know that it is much different thinking than the other countries. I did work not saying I am not with women working. I did't say that my husband doesn't help around the house (even though he does) but I never do ask him too. It just seems weird to me personally. And that is my point of view, a part of my personallity. Sorry if I disappoint you but thats ME! Peace |
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A thorn defends the rose,harming only those who would steal the blossom
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Jenni
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 31 July 2005 at 2:16pm |
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I understand Rose, I know some women like being the loving soft place
in a family and the main person that the children come to. That is
great, but I have to say that my husband and the husbands of some of my
friends who have been very hands on with the kids are the ones who
benifit by helping. You see my 2 young kids love him as much as they
love me. They trust him as much. He has picked them up and kissed them
when they fallen, read them books before bed, given them baths and
changed thier diapers ect. So he has thier love, I think they are
closer to him than many little kids are to thier dads. I don't want
them to love me more, and be a martyr. Like oh no, I can't do anything
because the kids need me and can't stay alone with my husband(which is
what I hear from some friends). No I feel good knowing that If I am not
here, he can take as good care of them as me and they are well loved.
Anyway, I know some women enjoy the traditional role, I do to
sometimes. But other times I know what is culture and what is religion
and I think in our religion men are expected to help out or provide a
maid. But it is up to us to ask for help if we want it. If you are o.k.
doing stuff on your own, than thats great for you and you won't get
dissapionted. Peace
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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J.R.
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Joined: 25 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 87 |
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Posted: 31 July 2005 at 4:04pm |
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Assalamu Alaikum,
I think every husband should be a hands-on father. Only good things can come from that. Children are greatly affected by how often they spend time with their fathers. There's no excuse for a father not spending some quality time wtih his kids every day. I'd rather have a husband who worked "normal" work hours and has time with his children rather than working looong hours for more money. But that's just me! Peace, J.R. |
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MayPB
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Joined: 21 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 75 |
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Posted: 31 July 2005 at 4:20pm |
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Salam -- The muslim husband should help out, Islam recognizes that a wife needs time for herself as well -- the husband being able to help during the week will provide that time for her. But what is the key to getting your husband to help out if he not inclined too?
MayPB |
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Jenni
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 31 July 2005 at 4:45pm |
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MayPB I suggest all women get a firm promise before marraige that the
husband will help with the house and kids after if he can't afford to
hire help. Than she should hold him to that promise. If she is allready
married she should present the case that most scholars agree on that
housework is not the womans responsibility and it is up to her to do
it. When I feel my husband might be slacking off a little I
remind him how much I love it when he helps me, how good it feels since
we have no family around that we work together. I also tell him that it
gives me time to exercise and help shed those baby pounds. He is all
for it because I make it positive. And when he vacuums or folds the
laundry I don't give him a hard time if its not perfect, I just say
thanks. That way he feels good about helping. I say to women, you
sometimes have to ask, or your husband won't do it. Just say I really
need your help, he would have to be quite a cold guy to say no. Peace
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Rose
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Joined: 07 July 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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Posted: 31 July 2005 at 5:50pm |
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A thorn defends the rose,harming only those who would steal the blossom
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Jenni
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Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705 |
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Posted: 01 August 2005 at 7:16am |
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Rose, that is true. But it is up to them to be nurturing and loving
fathers and to make sure thier wife is happy, well rested and has time
to care for her health and own needs. That way everyone in the family
is well cared for, not just the husband. Peace..
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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Angel
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Joined: 03 July 2001 Status: Offline Points: 6641 |
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Posted: 01 August 2005 at 7:54am |
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Husbands helping out? Yes, they should, its not exactly going to hurt them If you're going to share a life to together, live in one house and maybe kids, then isn't it fair that both share the household tasks? and swap occassionally also?
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 ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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