chastity, virginity

Assalamu Alaikum:

Yes, I think it's because women who have had other partners may do some compairing... and they might not measure up :)  In general, a woman's first experience (especially if the hymen hasn't ruptured) is not that great.. so one would think one would not want to be the guy to do the deed.  (Note: Be sure to pack some KY Jelly for your honeymoon if your'e a virgin... it will make things much easier.) 

I've also seen some pretty big age differences... where the guy is in his late 20s and the girl is just out of high school.  That is warped, IMHO.  Wouldn't sunnah be to make your first wife 15 years older than you? :)

No guy can tell, by the way... although they all think they can. (Of course, if she's had children...there is a difference.) The hymen often ruptures beforehand... and there may/may not be blood.  Although everybody expects some blood.  There is actually booming business among plastic surgeons to do a hymen-repair operation... sigh... it saddens me that Sisters go to such lengths.

Men are supposed to be virgins as well.  I will say that I met more Muslim virgins (male and female) then I ever met of any other religion.

I was a revert... and some men asked, others did not... others assumed that because I was American and older (late 20s), I must have had many partners... which wasn't the truth.  Still, most assume that all Americans are promiscuous.

Technically, once you make shahadah... you are clean again.... so they have no business asking.

Peace.

Maryah wrote: Mishmish wrote: Assalamu Alaikum: You have only to look at the wives of the Prophet(PBUH) for guidance in this matter. All of his wives were widowed or divorced except two: Aisha and Miriam. Assalamu Alaikum: Bravo sister Mish, you are right! The prophet (pbuh) so loved his first wife, Kadija who was a widow and 15 years his senior, that he never took any other wife until after her death! Some people seem to forget that!

You know, the marriage between Khadijah and Muhammed (pbuh) was a wonderful model of a perfect, loving and respectful marriage.  She was an independent woman who was supportive to her husband and cared for him in his struggles.  He loved her and respected her and was not afraid to show that to others.  We should all model our marriages off of ones like this.