The treatment of women

Aminah07
Groupie

But I did like your old avatar very much in fact my son cut and pasted it he is really into S/Ws' and it was a great pic.

Because you like it I will put my old avatar on.

martha
Senior Member


Yet give several men the same situation, and odds are they will all react differently to it. And women also. That largely I suppose comes down to upbringing and culture. And our own individual personalties.

Martha this is exactly my point.

Both men and women react differently to different stiautions although they, according to researchers, activate brains areas stereotypically attributed to their sex. I'm more concentrating the language some women have concerning men. Angela has pointed out some interesting facts to show how men treat women but I get the feeling that these facts are personal accounts of what they believe about how women treated and how men are. I've heard this before by other Muslim women here. It is not disrespectful language but its pointing out that generalizing the opposite sex despite data and despite seemingly overwhelming evidence is wrong. But more importantly I wanted to know the experiences of women and how they want to be treated. It sounds like a dumb question but trust me according to my experiences women have varying views on how they want to be treated.

Israfil, I hope the following is helpful. You wanted to know how women like to be treated. I can only answer for myself.

Well, in my own instance, I feel very different now to how I felt when I was, say, in my late teens. Back then I liked to be treated with flowers and chocolate, and eating out at restaurants. I grew up as a typical westernised woman. I liked a man to have good manners, to open the car door, and make me feel that I was the most important woman on earth to him. I wasnt interested in men that used bad language. But one that minded his 'p's and q's. His behaviour with others also counted. It mattered to me whether he wanted to progress career wise.  So I looked for this in a prospective husband, but also realising that married life would change our lifestyle. Material possessions at that stage in my life were important.

As a young married woman I always appreciated a helping hand, and when we both worked we mutually agreed to divide household tasks. And the flowers and nights out were still appreciated, but were less. Consideration for the other is paramount. Small sacrifices are sometimes necessary. Help when children are very small, ie mid-night bottle feeds and diaper changing was important. I didnt like my husband getting heavy handed with the children at all. So it seldom happened, and then he had me to deal with.

As an older woman now, the most important thing to me is honesty. Above all else. Without it there is little basis for a successful marriage. I say this because a woman should always feel secure. It matters more the older you get. Well for me it does. After honesty- respect and consideration. I have never been a wife to demand nice things for the home, expensive holidays, loads of clothes. Material possessions mean very little to me on the whole. Returning to the young woman 3 decades back, material possessions were important then, but that was before I did missionary work in South America. After seeing the poverty there my views on life completely changed.

Have I helped in any way? Is there anything else you want to know?

As Salamu Alaikum

Masha Allah, very interesting points raised here. I tend to agree more with what brother Irafil is saying.

Salams

Interesting Martha.....

Obviously I realize communication extends beyond simply verbalizing what you want out of your partner, but extends to other areas such as body language, hand gestures etc. From my studies (which I will do my utmost to not generalize) lack of communication and organization (qualities that stem from our frontal lobes of our brains) may come from different thing ssuch as the inability to communicate properly, lack of time, insecurity. and the list goes on. But again I want more views here on how women want to be treated it helps me understand better.