polygomy

walaikum salaam,

I shall try also

sophykhan wrote: .....some times we talk about pologamy i tell him its not a joke becauce it can hurt peoples feelings

Don't even get me stated on that! Many muslim brothers think that it is amusing to joke around about Polygyny! Some are even dumb enough to do so with nonmuslims! We have a relative in Canada who tells us that there is an idiot gentleman in thier office who loves to joke around and tell nonmuslim ladies how he can marry upto 4!!! Grrrr. It is not funny! I wish our brothers would be sensible enough to know the importance and heaviness of words. Hadith says, words are like an arrow - once they leave the bow, they cannot come back.

maybe if we moved to another place or country it will be ok i think i am interested in helping him get a 2 wife???? idont know how and also worried about her if she will be ok with that i am 25 ,2 kids 7 and 4 will they be ok to see that????????

Why would you be wanting to get your husband a second wife sis? Perhaps in a rush of faith/sympathy you do so - and later you regret it. Like said before: Polygyny is not easy - it is not for everyone - it is an exception, not the norm - it has not been 'reccommended' as an extra act of faith - it is just an allowance that exists, in order to deal with certain issues WHEN they occur. A man with 2 wives does not get anymore sawab than a man with 1 wife. If anything, he will be held even more responsible - and the probability of him sinning due to injustice will increase.

Allah says in the Qur'an to the men, in verse 4:3

'but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one

and later on, in the same chapter, Allah says to the men again: 4:129

" You shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives, even though you are eager to., so do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other as suspended. If you act righteously and fear Allah, then, Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful."

So even to the men, Allah reccommends that they stick to one wife (under normal circumstances), since they will not be able to deal justly b/w more.

I think it is interesting that actually more men don't try to engage n polygyny... It is not a lot of men who do. It is obviously an intense subject for women..

I think we can learn alot to also see why most men do not engage in it in Islam. I think like anything else there a variety of reasons

-happy with one wife
-cannot afford it
-fears Allah (cannot do it right, be just and in Islamic manner)
-fears 1st wife.. lol
-fears society / state authority
-self-knowledge to know its not a good idea to try for themselves.. personal choice
-knows having one wife is challenging enough, but having two.. mind boggling
-thinks it is not permissable in Islam / misinformation

Hayfa wrote: -knows having one wife is challenging enough, but having two.. mind boggling